


Lions and Wolves

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:33:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 72,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: This is a sequel to A Promise to be better (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/436569/1/A-Promise-to-Be-Better) I tried contacting the author to get permission but I never managed to make contact. If the author disapproves of my sequel, let me know and I will take it down.





	Lions and Wolves

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A promise to be better](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/469844) by Raven Dancer. 



Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All mistakes are mine.  
This is a sequel to A Promise to be better. I tried contacting the author to get permission but I never managed to make contact.

Lions and Wolves

 

Albus covered Severus with a blanket and watched the younger wizard sleep peacefully, for a change. It had taken Severus a long time, several weeks, to merely begin recovering from the ordeal he had been through. This last year had tested their friendship like it had never been tested before and Albus felt proud at realizing they had made it out alive. Only weeks ago he had feared for Severus’ life.

 

His child’s life had been in horrible danger. Riddle, Sirius Black, and last but not least, removing the curse from Harry, had nearly done Severus in. Now that the younger wizard was finally getting some rest, he was beginning to recover.

 

Fondly Albus brushed some black strands away from Severus’ face. Severus hardly ever looked at peace while asleep, but this time, he did. And that, without the help of a sleeping draught. Albus however wasn’t going to delude himself into thinking that all was well with Severus. His child had merely begun to recover; he still had a long road ahead of him. We will tackle the issues when they arise one by one. They would address Severus’ low self-esteem, his eating habits, and his fears in general. And they would get help in the form of James and Jeffrey Barnes, Poppy, Minerva, Hagrid, Remus and the Weasley twins, no matter how unlikely that sounded. Albus had the feeling Harry would also keep a close eye on the recovering wizard, aided by his best friends, Ron and Hermione. Severus probably hadn’t realized it yet, but he had gained a large number of friends.

 

“Albus?” Sleepily, Severus partly opened his eyes, searching for his mentor. He relaxed upon seeing the older wizard standing in front of him.

 

“Sleep, child. You need to rest.” Cheating – just a little – Albus murmured a sleeping spell, which eased Severus back into sleep. He caressed the dark hair one more time and then turned toward his desk. He sighed deeply upon seeing the correspondence that awaited him. He would be busy for hours!

 

/

 

Frustration was slowly but steadily getting the better of him. Why did he find it so hard to follow through with his plan? It wasn’t like he was about to challenge Voldemort to a duel! Remus drew in a deep breath, calmed his nerves, and whispered the password. “Candy Floss.” The Gargoyle moved away and revealed the entrance to Albus’ office. Remus rode the stairs up and stepped into the office. A quick look told him Severus was asleep on the sofa closest to the fireplace, and Albus was dealing with his mail. Fawkes chirped upon seeing him.

 

“Ah, Remus!” Albus put away the letter he had been reading and smiled at the DADA professor. “Such an unexpected pleasure.” Remus blushed slightly, which made Albus wonder about the reason which had brought Remus here. One particular reason he could think of made the twinkle return to his eyes. Could it be that…

 

“How are you this eve?” Remus looked at Albus, and even managed a smile, but at the same time, he also studied Severus from the corner of his eye.

 

Albus caught that and the twinkling brightened. Maybe he was right after all? “I am fine, Remus, but this mail refuses to cease! It’s an endless stream of annoyance,” he rambled, keeping a close eye on Remus and therefore, he noticed the distinct interest the DADA professor had in Severus’ well-being. “And Severus is improving… Little by little,” he added. “It takes time.”

 

Remus nodded. “I am grateful he survived.” Studying Severus, Remus suddenly grew aware of the fact that he was being studied in turn.

 

“Sit,” Albus said invitingly as he conjured a chair. “I am under the impression that you need someone to talk to.”

 

“You are right,” Remus admitted and seated himself in such a way that he could continue to monitor the sleeping wizard. “Albus, will you tell me the truth? How bad is he? Really?”

 

Albus cocked his head questioningly. That was not the question he had expected to hear. “He is improving… Step by step. He went through an ordeal, Remus, and it has only been two weeks since he removed that curse from Harry. Two weeks is much too short to recover from near death.”

 

Remus nodded. “But he IS recovering? He looks so damn pale, Albus. He seems fragile and I worry about him.” It had taken him some time, but in the end he had acknowledged the fact that he deeply cared about the other wizard.

 

“Remus,” Albus said and leaned in closer. “Let me assure you that James, Jeffrey, and I will do anything within our power to see Severus make a full recovery. All he needs is time.” Albus continued to study the DADA professor. After a moment’s thought, he added, “And Severus needs to know he has friends who care about him. You should visit more often… Spend time with him. I daresay you enjoy his company, and knowing Severus the way I do, I am sure he likes you in turn.” Yes, they do like each other and I should encourage Remus’ interest in Severus. Merlin knows Severus needs a good friend – a true companion. Albus was very much aware of the fact that Severus needed more than just a father figure. What Severus needed was a partner – for life. And didn’t wolves mate for life?

 

“I don’t want to infringe on your friendship - or his privacy,” Remus said, reluctance and eagerness waging war in his heart. “He feels most comfortable with you.”

 

“That may be,” Albus admitted, “But I reckon he will feel the same way about you, if you give him a chance to get to know you. Remus, I want you to spend more time with Severus. I want you to deepen this friendship you have slowly been building and nurturing. Yes, I noticed,” he clarified, upon Remus giving him a curious look. “I noticed your kind acts directed at Severus, and trust me, he noticed them too. He stopped calling you Lupin and started to use Remus instead, did he not?”

 

Remus nodded again and dreamily recalled a few instances during which Severus had called him by his first name. He loved the way his name rolled off of Severus’ tongue. “I want to spend more time with him too,” he admitted in a shy voice. “Are you sure he wants that?”

 

“Why don’t we ask him when he wakes up?” Albus nonverbally cast the counter spell to the sleeping spell he used on his child moments ago. He noticed the way Remus sat up straighter and failed to hide his approving smile. Albus rose from his chair, made his way over to the sofa, and sat down on the armrest. “Severus, you have a visitor.” He eyed his child closely, hoping to see the reaction he wanted. And Severus didn’t disappoint him; the younger wizard smiled warmly upon seeing Remus head for the sofa as well.

 

“Remus…” Severus mumbled and continued to smile. “What dragged you down here?”

 

Albus got to his feet again and returned to his desk now that he had accomplished his mission. The rest was up to Remus. He continued to watch them though; always looking out for his child’s well-being.

 

Severus, who had been lying down, managed to elbow himself into a more upright position, leaning his back against the armrest. The blanket, which Albus had covered him with, he pulled closer to his chest as he felt a bit cold. Remus still hadn’t answered him and Severus wondered what serious matter had made the DADA professor seek him out. Briefly, he panicked. “Has another hexed coin been found and was a child cursed?” By Merlin, he hoped not! He would willingly go through the pain of removing the curse again, but he was just starting to feel better.

 

Seeing the rising panic on Severus’ face made Remus act quickly. Reaching out in order to calm the other wizard, he placed his hand on Severus’ arm. “No, it’s nothing like that. All is well at Hogwarts – for once,” he added, hoping to add some lightness to their conversation.

 

“Then why are you here?” Severus still felt tired and fought the upcoming yawn. In the end, he freed his hand and covered up his mouth when he failed to stop it.

 

Remus realized only too well how true Albus’ words were. Severus needed time to recover and it would be a slow process. Remus however, also hoped that Severus would allow him to support him during that time. “I wondered how you were doing. I worry about you, Severus. I still recall how close to death you came only weeks ago.” Maybe he was being too honest, but he didn’t care. He wanted Severus to know the truth.

 

Severus’ eyes widened. Had Remus really said he cared about him? That he worried about him to such an extent as to visit him? Growing shy, Severus averted his gaze and looked at Albus instead. His mentor however merely grinned and nodded at him, as if to encourage him. After so many years of isolation and being shunned, Albus knew that Severus found it nearly impossible to believe someone like Remus would really care about him. “I am… improving,” he said eventually and cast another quick look at his mentor.

 

A look, that wasn’t lost on Remus, and which made him realize just how insecure Severus felt. It pained him to know that Severus thought he was unworthy of worry or care. “I am glad to hear it.” Remus waited until Severus felt confident enough to look at him. A minute later, he finally received Severus’ full attention. Now came the awkward bit. “I was wondering… hoping actually,” he stuttered, growing nervous, “if you would have dinner with me – when you feel strong enough of course. I don’t want to pressure you.”

 

“Dinner? With you?” Severus blinked. That was… odd, and he didn’t know what to make of the invitation. Except for Albus no one ever invited him over for dinner. “Why?” Belatedly, he realized he had actually vocalized something he had just wanted to think.

 

“Why?” Remus never expected that question, but realized he should have prepared for it. “Because I like your company, Severus,” he replied, opting for the truth. “I like you and want to know you better.” He noticed the way Severus’ gaze returned to Albus, which made it painfully obvious that Severus didn’t trust the invitation to be extended for the right reasons. Realizing that Severus didn’t trust him after all that had happened hurt, but what had he expected? He chided himself. Severus had never had any reasons to trust him – not to such an extent.

 

“You should accept the offer,” Albus said and smiled warmly at Severus.

 

Severus however wasn’t convinced he should. “Black, is he...?” Had his nemesis put Remus up to this?

 

“Sirius is no longer at Hogwarts, remember?” Remus reminded Severus gently. “It would just be the two of us, and I don’t mind having dinner in here, if Albus allows it, that is.” He wanted Severus to trust him and he would do anything to earn that trust.

 

Severus wasn’t sure accepting the invitation would be the right thing to do. He had suffered a life time of humiliation at the hands of various wizards and wasn’t prepared to willingly add to it.

 

“I will be away tomorrow evening,” Albus reminded Severus. “Ministry meeting,” he clarified for Remus’ sake. “You are welcome to dine in these rooms and I am sure Dobby and Beryl will just love spoiling you rotten.” It was all he could do in order to encourage Severus. He couldn’t and wouldn’t force his child into this.

 

Unaware of what he was doing, Severus bit down onto his bottom lip, drawing a tiny droplet of blood. He still wasn’t sure he should accept. It would mean making himself vulnerable and Remus was one of the few people capable of actually hurting him. He valued Remus as a friend – he hoped he had earned the privilege to call him that, and to find out it was just a prank, would seriously damage his self-esteem, which was already ridiculously low to begin with. “I don’t believe this is a good idea,” he remarked eventually, having decided to opt for safety and hopefully keeping the status quo between them intact.

 

“Severus,” Remus said, not yet willing to give up. “I am serious. I want to get to know you – spend time with you. I am not setting you up. This isn’t one of Sirius’ pranks. Hopefully you know me better than that.” He tried to let the fact – that Severus actually thought that badly of him – not get to him. He reminded himself that Severus had valid reasons to be weary – still. Therefore he didn’t mind Severus looking toward Albus for advice. In a way, it might help – provided the older wizard supported him.

 

Albus nodded. “Give him a chance, Severus. I do believe he means well.” He could only hope that Severus would accept Remus’ offer.

 

Severus sighed deeply and took a moment to sort out his feelings. He wanted to give Remus a chance; he wanted their friendship to deepen, but was he willing to make himself vulnerable in order to do so? The answer - regrettably – was yes. Severus wanted this as much as Remus did, but at the same time, he was so very afraid of being hurt again. “Tomorrow evening? Dinner? In Albus’ rooms?” He felt safe here – that might help. Severus was wholly unprepared for the blinding smile that surfaced on Remus’ face. He blinked in surprise upon seeing it. Had accepting his offer really made the other wizard that happy? Severus found that hard to believe.

 

“Thank you,” Remus said and continued to smile happily. “I won’t let you down. At what time shall we meet?”

 

Severus considered the question put to him. “Eight?”

 

“Sounds fine,” Remus replied, happy that his gamble had paid off. “I will meet you here at eight.” Deeming it best to retreat and to give Severus some privacy, he got to his feet and headed for the doorway. “I am sure Dobby and Beryl will have a blast organizing dinner.” There would probably be way too much food, but who cared? Severus had accepted and that gave way to a whole new world of possibilities!

 

Severus watched Remus leave and then shifted his gaze toward Albus. “Did I make a mistake just now? Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted.” Self-doubt assailed him again. Surely no one could look forward to spending the evening with him? “Maybe I should send him a message, saying I reconsidered?”

 

Albus got up from behind his desk, walked over to the sofa Severus was resting on, and sat on the edge. He rested his right hand on his child’s face and gently caressed the facial skin. His heart twitched happily upon seeing Severus close his eyes with joy at being touched like that. His child had gone too long without touch and Albus hoped Remus could help him remedy that. “Do not doubt yourself, Severus. I honestly believe you made the right decision. Remus has been supportive from the start. He even helped protect you from Sirius when he was harassing you.”

 

“But at that time he didn’t know it was Sirius.” Severus leaned into the caress, savoring the physical contact. He literally felt starved for it.

 

“He would have protected you nonetheless. Remus matured, while Sirius didn’t. And in case you hadn’t noticed, Remus really likes you.” Albus cocked his head and waited for Severus to open his eyes. When the younger wizard did just that, he added, “You should seize this opportunity, Severus. Do not fear fear.”

 

Severus knew Albus had made a valid point, but still, trusting Remus was hard.

 

/

 

Later that night, Severus was unable to sleep. Remus’ dinner invitation still made nervous.

 

Albus, who had curled himself protectively around his child, was very much aware of Severus’ emotional turmoil. He knew Severus tended to feel inferior and insecure, but until now, he hadn’t fully realized to which extent. “Speak your mind, child. I will listen,” he said and pressed a kiss onto the dark hair.

 

Severus shifted in the embrace until he was able to make eye-contact. “Why, do you think, did he invite me to dinner? What ulterior motive…”

 

“Child,” Albus said, interrupting before Severus could go any further. “Why do you find it so hard to believe that Remus is a friend? Someone who likes you and wants to spend time with you?”

 

Severus bit onto his bottom lip. “Because… so far… only Lily and you… You have been the only ones to…”

 

Albus prayed for patience. “Severus, the rest are idiots! I regret that their rejection hurt you… Listen to me, Severus, and listen carefully.” Severus was looking him in the eye, so he knew he had his child’s full attention, which was exactly what he wanted. “You are a good person. You had to hide your true nature, but that is over now. You can let go of that dark past. You are no longer a Death Eater. You are Severus, my Severus, my child, and you deserve being loved.” Had the matter not been that serious, seeing Severus grow flustered would have amused him, but now, it only served to remind him how much his child was still hurting. “Never doubt you are loved, child.”

 

Severus managed a shy smile. He knew that Albus loved him – had felt that love when James Barnes had been forced to bind them. Albus had pulled him back from the edge – had gently forced him to fight for his life. “I am sorry,” he said, mostly out of habit.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Severus.” Albus bestowed a kiss onto his child’s brow. “But I would appreciate it if you gave Remus a chance. Things might be awkward at first, during dinner, because you won’t know how to act, but believe me when I say that matters will improve. Let him take the lead if necessary.”

 

Severus nodded. “It’s odd,” he said, not knowing why he was voicing thoughts which he would normally keep hidden. “I feel nervous about tomorrow evening, but at the same time, I look forward to it. I am also scared. What if…”

 

“Remus isn’t setting you up. You saved his life, remember?” He had to get through to Severus, one way or the other.

 

Yes, he remembered. Holding Remus that close, folding his arms around him and burying his face in the crook of the other wizard’s neck, had been strangely intimate.

 

“Severus, do you really believe Remus – the man you saved that day – wants to hurt you?” Albus knew he was using dirty tricks, but he would do anything to make Severus understand.

 

“You are right,” Severus admitted eventually – and this time, with his heart. “Remus is a friend.”

 

“Yes, he is, child.” Albus guided Severus’ head back in place beneath his chin. “Sleep now, tomorrow will be an exciting day for you – or more specifically, tomorrow eve.” He grinned, hoping Remus would manage to bridge that distance between them. He felt confident though that the DADA professor had everything it took to get through to the stubborn Potions Master.

 

“Albus, thank you,” Severus mumbled, falling asleep, as Albus’ soothing presence evened out the ripples in his mind.

 

“You are welcome, child, Very welcome indeed.”

 

/

 

Severus didn’t like being alone. Albus had left for the Ministry and Severus didn’t expect him back until tomorrow eve. Which meant, he was on his own until Remus arrived for dinner. Now that Albus’ soothing presence was gone, Severus wondered what had possessed him to accept the offer. The only thing that stopped him from sending Remus a message that dinner was off, was his promise to Albus that he wouldn’t do that.

 

“Professor Snape?”

 

Severus looked up in surprise at seeing Harry standing next to him. The young man had managed to approach him without being noticed, which was definitely something that worried Severus. He felt much too much at ease at Hogwarts. Instead, he should be alert as he didn’t know what Riddle’s next move might be. “Mister Potter,” he started, but upon seeing Harry raise an eyebrow – in a fashion worthy of himself – he relented. “Harry.” It was hard – no, impossible, to go back to being formal around the boy. The fact that he had removed that curse and had saved his life had changed everything between them.

 

Harry walked up to the older wizard and joined him in looking out of the window. He had been on his way to the main gate when he had caught sight of Severus standing in the aisle, watching the snow fall. “I am on my way to Hogsmeade. Want to join me?” He had lost his trepidation where the older wizard was concerned. Ever since Severus had held him close and cured him, he had realized the man’s true nature. The fact that Severus had cured him, hadn’t surprised him – not really, but the fact that the older wizard had held him so close in order to comfort him, had.

 

“I shouldn’t,” Severus decided after a moment’s thought. He was still weak and Death Eaters would be on the lookout for him. Furthermore, he didn’t feel strong enough yet to undertake the journey. “Maybe another time. Thank you for inviting me along though,” he added upon seeing Harry’s crestfallen expression. What was the world coming to when people actually felt disappointed because he declined an invitation? Harry almost bore the same look Remus did last night, before he had accepted the other wizard’s dinner invitation. “Be careful out there, will you?” Feeling rather insecure, and wondering why he was actually reaching out, he briefly patted the young man’s shoulder.

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t be on my own. Fred and George are heading for Hogsmeade with me!”

 

“And that is supposed to reassure me?” Severus joked.

 

Harry laughed, and reaching out instinctively, he caught Severus’ hand in his and wrapped his fingers around it. It was hard to think of the older wizard as professor Snape these days – the greasy git from the dungeons. Even Ron had stopped calling him that. These days, he looked upon the older wizard as a friend and protector and he had become Severus… Although Harry wasn’t sure he would get away with calling him that. So, in the end, he opted for something safe. “Sir, you do realize it’s Christmas Eve in three days?”

 

No, he hadn’t. He never celebrated Christmas and he had never taken an interest in it. “Then what are you still doing at Hogwarts?”

 

“I will floo with Fred and George to the Burrow tomorrow, but I still need to get some gifts. With everything that happened lately, I never got around to buying presents.”

 

“Very understandable as you were seriously ill. I doubt anyone will blame you for not getting them a gift in time,” Severus consoled the young man.

 

“They won’t – The Weasley’s surely won’t!” But the truth was, he was going to Hogsmeade because he wanted to get something for Severus. The older wizard had done so much for him – had practically been willing to lay down his life in order to save him. In Harry’s book, that meant Severus was entitled to a present - and a special one at that, if he could find one! “I might be seeing you later, sir. Bye!”

 

Severus watched Harry walk down the aisle and smiled, happy that he had been able to save the young man’s life. If anyone deserved to live, it was Harry. He turned around and noticed the Christmas trees for the first time. The holly decoration caught his eye next. He must have been lost in thought for not noticing it earlier. Maybe it was because Albus’ rooms didn’t sport any Christmas decoration? Well, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to celebrate Christmas at any rate.

 

/

 

Severus reluctantly decided to head for the Great Hall for lunch. Normally he preferred to eat in Albus’ rooms, or his own, but he felt lonely. He counted on Minerva and Sybil to include in him their conversations as both witches had put all differences aside. Maybe Filius would also act cordially. He didn’t bother about Vector and Sprout, knowing they would always detest him.

 

Upon entering the Hall, he noticed the small number of students in there. But then he reminded himself that Christmas was only three days away and most of them had headed home for the holidays. Cautiously he glanced toward the head table and felt relieved at seeing only Minerva and Filius there. Maybe everything would be all right.

 

Minerva smiled at Severus upon seeing him sit down next to her. The fact that Severus voluntarily came to the Great Hall for lunch was major progress. Not so long ago, Severus would have avoided doing so at all cost. “It is good to see you here,” she said and continued to smile at him, hoping her reaction would set his mind at ease. She could tell he was worried though – it was in the eyes.

 

Severus nodded and seated himself. He poured tea, looked about the Hall, and then focused on the witch next to him. Opting for honesty, since Minerva had offered him her friendship not so long ago, he said, “I forgot it is almost Christmas.”

 

Minerva’s first reaction was wonder – how could anyone forget about the upcoming feast? But then she remembered what he had been though lately. “Three more days to prepare for it. You still have time.”

 

Severus sipped and wondered why he was opening up to her. Normally he only confided in Albus. “I never celebrated it in the past. I never had a reason to do so.” He noticed the look Minerva gave him and found it hard to classify. It wasn’t pity exactly, and there was some understanding mixed in, but the major emotion displayed in her eyes escaped him.

 

Minerva felt deeply for the younger wizard. She recalled past Christmases during which Severus had been absent from the festivities. “Then you should make merry and celebrate it this year.”

 

Severus broke eye-contact and his reaction slipped from his lips unwillingly. “Celebrate it with whom? Albus will be heading to the United States as Lila invited him over and I insisted he accept the invitation. I know how much he cares for her.”

 

That came as a surprise to Minerva, who wished she hadn’t already arranged to spend the holidays with her family. Filius would join his relatives as well and Minerva couldn’t think of anyone else who was going to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas. Maybe she should cancel the arrangements she had previously made!

 

Remus slipped onto the chair next to Severus. He had overheard most of their conversation. Severus briefly startled, not having noticed his arrival, and Remus was quick to smile at the other wizard. “Did I hear correctly? Are you discussing the holidays?” Remus helped himself to lunch and sipped from his pumpkin juice.

 

Minerva realized her chance and beat Severus to answering Remus’ question. “As a matter of fact, yes, we are discussing Christmas. What are your plans for the holidays, Remus?”

 

The fact that he hadn’t noticed Remus’ arrival either, made Severus realize that his instincts were off. He also realized that if the Death Eaters, or even worse, Voldemort, got a hold of him, he would be dead within seconds. They could easily ambush him with him not paying any attention to his surroundings. No matter what happened, he had to stay at Hogwarts. At school, he was relatively safe!

 

Remus studied Severus for a moment before answering Minerva’s question. Severus looked pre-occupied and the expression in those dark eyes was one which he had learned to label as worry, closing in on panic. “I have no plans yet for the holidays. I reckon I will be staying at Hogwarts.” Remus noticed the way Severus’ expression grew blank. The other wizard was no longer listening and seemed to drift off into a world of his own. Remus exchanged a look with Minerva, who nodded as she had noticed the same thing. It was time to pull Severus back then. “Severus, you are staying at Hogwarts too, aren’t you?”

 

At hearing his name, Severus forced himself to pay attention to what they were saying. “I am sorry. I didn’t quite catch that.” He forced himself to turn his head and to look at Remus.

 

“I was saying that I am staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. I reckon you are staying too?” Remus repeated his observation.

 

“Yes, I will be at Hogwarts. Where else should I go?” This was the only place where was safe – relatively speaking. Who knew what or who would use the fireplace to get to him. Thankfully the floo in Albus’ rooms was heavily warded and not even Voldemort himself would be able to reach him there.

 

“Maybe we could spend Christmas together then?” Remus said, making the next logical step.

 

Severus suddenly fully realized what they were discussing and stared at Remus in wonder. “Do you seriously want to spend Christmas with me? I can’t believe no one else invited you! Molly Weasley…”

 

“Has a large family and enough mouths to feed over the holidays. I won’t infringe on them.” Molly had let him know he was welcome, but he had declined the offer. Her invitation had been kind, but Christmas was a family matter as far as he was concerned and he wasn’t family. To Remus, it was as simple as that.

 

Severus shook his head. “I am certain someone will invite you, Remus.” The other man was likable, easygoing and well-loved – contrary to himself.

 

“Actually,” Minerva said, drawing out the word. “Remus’ suggestion makes a lot of sense. I think you should accept, Severus! There is no reason why you should both be on your own during the holidays!”

 

Remus quickly nodded his approval. “She’s right, Severus. Why should we be miserable on our own? Doesn’t misery love company?” he said and also added a wink.

 

Which Severus caught. Why in Merlin’s name was Remus winking at him? “I will give the matter some thought,” he said diplomatically, knowing Minerva well enough to realize that she would continue to remind him of Remus’ offer.

 

“Eat, Severus. The sandwiches are rather tasty,” Remus said and placed several sandwiches on the other wizard’s plate, recalling he had seen Albus put food onto Severus’ plate as well when the Potions Master had been ill and seemingly unwilling to fill his own plate.

 

Severus looked at the food and didn’t fight the sigh that left his lips. Trust Remus to notice his eating habits. Thinking it best to ignore the matter for now, he settled for eating his lunch.

 

/

 

“Doctor James?” Severus was surprised to see the healer march into Albus’ office. He hadn’t expected him.

 

“Severus! I hope you don’t mind that I dropped by!” James Barnes studied his charge. Severus had come a long way these last few weeks, but wasn’t completely healed yet. James was here to make sure Severus continued to recover. “Albus sent me a message. He won’t be back until tomorrow evening?” James reached for his charge, wrapped an arm around Severus, and scanned him. It had taken Severus time to accept such casual closeness, but the fact that they had bonded, no matter how briefly, had helped.

 

“Yes, he is off to the Ministry.” Severus knew what James was doing and let him. “What’s the verdict?” he said, half jokingly, half in earnest.

 

“You seem better, but don’t forget – you are far from healed!” James used the opportunity to administer some healing energy to his charge. “Let’s sit down. We will be more comfortable that way.” It was a good sign that Severus allowed him to take the lead as they sat down on the sofa. James pulled the other wizard into his arms and guided the dark head against his chest. “Just a little feed,” he clarified upon seeing Severus’ surprised look.

 

“I don’t feel weak,” Severus sputtered softly.

 

“That might be, but a little extra energy never hurts.” And with that, James considered the subject closed. “Tell me, what’s happening in your life right now? How are you dealing with Albus’ absence?” It was the first time the Headmaster would be gone for that long.

 

“I went to the Great Hall because I felt lonely.” Severus had learned not to lie to the older healer. James had the uncanny talent to be able to tell when he was lying. He didn’t want to run that risk.

 

“And how did that go?” James was under the impression it had gone well, since Severus was calm and relaxed.

 

“Fairly well, I suppose,” Severus replied thoughtfully. “Minerva was there and we talked a little.”

 

“Only Minerva?” James could tell from Severus’ body language that his charge was holding back.

 

“No, Remus was there as well.”

 

James realized this was going to be harder than he had originally thought. “And did you get along?”

 

“We did,” Severus mumbled. He didn’t really want to add anything, but at the same time, he did want to know James’ thoughts in the matter. Maybe the healer could help him make up his mind. “Yesterday, he invited me to dinner… We will be having it here – on safe grounds… Either of us can leave, should we…”

 

James nodded to show he understood. It was Severus who needed a way out should he grow uncomfortable in Remus’ company. “Do you like him, Severus?”

 

“When I was younger, I didn’t. I was scared of him because he is werewolf. But these days… yes, I like him.”

 

James had thought as much. “And the werewolf part?”

 

“I supply him with Wolfsbane… Although the transformation leaves him weak, he is no longer a danger – to himself or others. And I learned to defend myself a long time ago.”

 

James nodded again. “So why are you nervous about dinner then?”

 

Severus moistened his lips. The constant flow of relaxing energy made it hard to keep anything from the healer. James wasn’t playing fair – not really. “What if I mess up? What if I do something that annoys him?”

 

James wasn’t surprised to hear that. “Has it ever occurred to you that Remus might feel equally nervous?”

 

Surprised, Severus blinked. “No, why should he?”

 

“I reckon Remus feels the same way you do. He likes you – that much is obvious, or he wouldn’t have invited you. And he might worry about making mistakes too. Seriously, Severus, I don’t think you need to worry.”

 

Could James be right? Could Remus be nervous too? It made sense – in a way. “What do I do?” he asked and raised his head in order to look at the healer. Seeing the calm and trusting expression in the other wizard’s eyes helped Severus to calm down in turn.

 

“You did the right thing, Severus. You accepted his invitation. Just allow for it to happen. Even when things are awkward at first – it will sort itself out.”

 

“That’s what Albus said,” Severus realized. He sighed deeply and rested his head back against the healer’s chest. He closed his eyes, savoring the warmth that wrapped itself around his heart.

 

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?” James said, trying one more time to take away Severus’ fears.

 

Severus took a moment to think it over. “I don’t know… Maybe not knowing what to say in order to keep the conversation going… Spilling food or drinks on him…” Severus suddenly shivered. “The Dark Lord summoning me.”

 

“If that happens, let Remus contact me. Albus taught me the counter spell and if necessary, I will teach Remus in turn.” James ran his fingers through Severus’ hair. “Don’t answer the summons, Severus. You can’t do that – ever again. He will kill you for his amusement.”

 

Severus knew that. “But maybe I can first get some information out of him.”

 

“No, Severus.” James pushed the dark hair away from Severus’ face and made eye contact. “Voldemort will kill you.” James marveled at his own courage, calling He-who-must-not-be-named that. “And I don’t want you to die. I want you to live. And so does Albus, and I am quite certain Remus wants that too. And Harry! Let’s not forget him!”

 

Severus smiled shyly. “I don’t know what I did to earn such… loyalty.” He was afraid to call it friendship.

 

“We love you, Severus, it is a simple as that. We greatly care about you. Plus Jeffrey would make my life a living hell if I let something happen to you.”

 

Severus’ smile deepened and became more genuine. He wasn’t sure about the others, but he did know that Albus and James loved him – for he had felt their love during their bonding. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to relax. Eventually he drifted off into sleep with James continuing the energy feed for the next hour.

 

/

 

Severus couldn’t believe he was actually wondering about what to wear tonight. As a youngster, he had never gone on dates, hadn’t even been invited to evenings out with friends as he hadn’t had any after Lily had stepped out of his life.

 

“What – in Merlin’s name? – am I doing? It doesn’t matter what I wear!” Why should it in the first place? In the end, he settled for his normal attire – black buttoned down trousers and a high-necked white shirt. He did forego the black coat though as it struck him as too formal – and uncomfortable when being honest.

 

“Master Snape, Beryl and I will deliver dinner when professor Lupin has arrived, yes?” Dobby’s ears flapped excitedly. He was happy that he was able to do this for the wizard, who had suffered so much. He still remembered the night when Severus Snape had held him and had refused to let go. They had both been overly emotional. It had also created a bond.

 

“Yes, Dobby, and thank you for taking care of dinner.” Severus also vividly recalled that night, and sometimes, he felt embarrassed for having given into his emotions. It was one night when his control had totally slipped away. It had been the night he had tried to cut away the Dark Mark, using shards of a glass which he had smashed to pieces.

 

Dobby nodded repeatedly and then left, secretly keeping an eye on the Potions Master – just in case.

 

Severus wondered why he felt so nervous. He was only having dinner with Remus Lupin for Merlin’s sake! But the truth was – although he wasn’t ready yet to fully face that fact – that he liked the other wizard. And some part of him hoped that they could become real friends one day.

 

“Evening, Severus.” Remus stood in the doorway. He had observed Severus for a minute before revealing himself and had easily read the other wizard’s nervousness. He felt the same way – but not to that extent. He felt confident that they would get along. “The house-elves already outdid themselves,” he said upon making his way over to Severus.

 

“Dobby and Beryl set the table. I am afraid they got carried away.” The two house elves had even added candles to the dinner table! Why had they done that? Remus came to a halt next to him and Severus felt strangely shy and hesitant to look at him. He still didn’t fully believe Remus was interested in him. He still feared it could turn out to be a prank.

 

“I am very glad you accepted, Severus. I was rather worried you would reject me.” Remus had given the matter some thought and decided honesty might be the best way to deal with the awkwardness. Severus’ head whipped up and the Potions Master stared at him in disbelief. Yes, this would work. “Why does that surprise you? I realize that you have little reason to trust me, but I do hope that recent events show that you can trust me. You saved my life, Severus.” Remus shivered in remembrance. “I still recall the way you collapsed after healing me from that curse. I worried terribly about you!”

 

Severus felt even more timid after being reminded of that. “I did what I had to do,” he whispered, growing slightly flustered. Why was Remus bringing that up?

 

Remus drew in a deep breath and decided to take another risk. He reached for Severus’ left hand and wrapped his fingers around it. “You didn’t have to risk your life for me, but you did. Did I ever thank you for it? I don’t think so, so, thank you, Severus.” Remus couldn’t help growing somewhat amused at seeing Severus’ blush deepen further. He hadn’t realized Severus could be that easily embarrassed, but he didn’t regret doing so. Severus needed to know that his sacrifice was greatly valued.

 

Severus had a hard time believing Remus was holding his hand. The fingers gently rubbed the back, causing tingling on the skin’s surface. In the back of his mind, he could hear James, Jeffrey, and Albus telling him to have faith in Remus. Eventually he found the courage he previously lacked and looked Remus in the eye. He gasped softly at seeing the brilliant smile on the other wizard’s face. He could no longer deny the truth; Remus was happy to be here – wanted to be here – with him. It was the oddest realization he had ever had! “I am glad you are here too,” he whispered, not trusting his voice to sound steady. And why was Remus still holding his hand?

 

“Let’s eat,” Remus suggested. “We can talk later. I am hungry.” He realized that Severus needed a moment to deal with the revelation he had just had. He didn’t release Severus’ hand though until he had to when he sat down.

 

Severus noticed it and once more wondered what was happening. He quickly sat down, feeling strangely bereft and relieved at the same time. Nothing that was happening right now made any sense.

 

Dobby, judging the moment to serve dinner had arrived, delivered the first course and quickly retreated.

 

“I love tomato soup,” Remus said in order to get the conversation going again.

 

“It is… satisfactory…” Severus glanced at Remus when the other wizard chuckled. “What?”

 

Remus knew he had to tread carefully. “If someone had told me a year ago that I would thoroughly enjoy eating dinner with you I would have thought them mad. Thankfully things between us have changed.”

 

Severus quickly averted his gaze. He simply didn’t know how to act around such a gentle Remus Lupin. “I always liked you,” he admitted in the end.

 

Remus immediately seized the opening Severus presented him with. “Always?”

 

“Maybe not while we were youngsters, but ever since you started teaching…” Why had he admitted to liking Remus in the first place? He really needed to learn how to keep things private! But something made him want to confide in the DADA professor.

 

“I always hoped you would give me a chance to befriend you. I like you in turn.” Remus paused for a moment in order to gather his thoughts. “I never wanted to hurt you back then.” Had he ever properly apologized for what had happened back then?

 

“I know it wasn’t your fault…” But he didn’t dare add what he really thought.

 

Remus however had a pretty good idea of what was going on in Severus’ mind. “It was Sirius’… I am truly sorry that I didn’t stop him when he started harassing you.” It was important he said the words – they had to get this into the open.

 

“Pranks, he called them,” Severus remembered.

 

“Those weren’t pranks, Severus. By tripping you, he caused you injuries. Albus and I, we should have listened to you – really listened.”

 

Severus didn’t know what to make of the fact that Remus’ hand once more reached for his. He was tempted to pull away, but in a strange way, he longed for the touch. He felt mesmerized upon seeing Remus curl his fingers around his hand once more. By Merlin, the contact felt so good! Remus felt warm and his fingertips rubbed his skin. He couldn’t look away and stared at their joined hands.

 

Remus noticed Severus’ preoccupation with their hands and it made him smile. Seeing Severus react in such a way was encouraging. Apparently the Potions Master wanted the physical contact as much as he did. “Severus, I want to start over… Well, not over exactly – but I want to make a real effort starting here and now. I want us to be friends.”

 

Severus had a hard time believing the things he was hearing. “I want that too,” escaped him.

 

“Well, that has been decided then!” Remus couldn’t find it in his heart to let go of Severus’ hand. The way the Potions Master was staring at it told him how badly Severus needed the contact. And he needed it himself too! Severus shyly raised his head and looked at him. Remus smiled and gently squeezed the other man’s hand – conveying his message far better by touch than words ever could.

 

Severus understood. Smiling timidly, he returned the squeeze just as gently. Maybe he had worried for nothing; maybe everything would work out just fine!

 

/

 

Seated on his favorite sofa next to the fireplace, Severus wondered about the easy atmosphere between them. The thing that amazed him the most was that even the silences between them felt comfortable. It didn’t matter if they stopped talking, because if they did, Remus would start running his fingertips over the back of his hand. Although he was careful not to show his exaltation, Severus felt ridiculously pleased that Remus continued to hold his hand.

 

Remus liked the relaxed atmosphere between them as well. He had hoped their evening would go well, and so far, it had surpassed his expectations. Merely holding Severus’ hand and caressing it had done the trick. Maybe now he could address his plans for Christmas. “I would really like spending the holidays with you, Severus. I seldom had the chance to enjoy celebrating Christmas and the way it looks this year, I might be able to fully enjoy the spirit for once.”

 

Severus wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted that too, but feared Remus might tire of him if they spend that much time together. He wasn’t an easy person to get along with and sometimes, bouts of depression still got the better of him. It was only fair to warn Remus. “I doubt you will be able to enjoy the Christmas spirit with me around. I am… unpleasant company.”

 

Hearing Severus say that caused Remus to grow even more determined to make their holidays enjoyable. “I don’t mind, Severus. We all have our bad days, and if someone is entitled to feel miserable at times, it is you, considering everything you went through.” He shivered, recalling the way Severus had been when Firenze had delivered the spy to the Headmaster.

 

Severus felt Remus shiver and looked questioningly at the other wizard. “What is amiss?”

 

“I was remembering that evening when Firenze returned you to us. Until that moment I never realized how much danger you were exposed to.”

 

Severus quickly looked away again. “I failed Albus back then. I messed up.”

 

“Severus!” Remus’ hand slid up Severus’ arm, and he used the hold to pull him closer. “You were under tremendous pressure! It’s a wonder you didn’t break down before that!”

 

Severus felt compelled to answer Remus’ gaze. “I still messed up. It eventually resulted in the Dark Lord losing his faith in me. That way I became useless to the Order…”

 

“You are not useless!” Remus said indignantly. “Severus… How can you say such a thing? You have other qualities!” Remus shook his head.

 

Severus however didn’t agree, but as he hadn’t expected Remus’ fierce response, he remained quiet. Instead, he focused on the feel of Remus’ fingertips against his skin.

 

“I would be lost without your potion making skills, Severus. The fact that you provide me with the Wolfsbane is…” Remus searched for the right words, but failed to come up with them. “You saved my life in more ways than one,” he said eventually. At seeing Severus’ disbelief, he added, “It’s the truth.”

 

Severus nervously moistened his lips. He wasn’t used to receiving compliments and didn’t know how to act. “You are exaggerating,” he said eventually.

 

“No, I am not.” Remus pulled Severus’ hand against his chest. “Without you, the curse would have killed me and my heart would have stopped beating a month ago.”

 

Severus grew even more uncomfortable. “I did not do anything special. Anyone who knew the counter spell could have cured you.”

 

“Yes, but you were the only one with that knowledge. Severus…” Remus realized he had to back off, seeing the anxiety in those dark eyes. He was coming on too strong.

 

Severus averted his eyes, but was still painfully aware of that fact that Remus had a tight hold on his hand. There was no way he could leave the sofa and put some distance between them.

 

“You would make me happy if you agreed to spend Christmas with me,” Remus said, exchanging one awkward subject for the other. “We can have dinner on Christmas Eve, share breakfast on Christmas morning, and keep each other company during the holidays. I would feel less lonely that way. Maybe we can even visit Hogsmeade? Go for a walk and a drink?”

 

Severus hated disappointing Remus, but he had better say this now before the other wizard got his hopes up. “I can’t leave Hogwarts… I am not sure I will ever be able to.”

 

Remus frowned and instinctively tightened his hold on Severus’ hand. “Why?”

 

Severus shot Remus a quick glance and then looked away again. “Voldemort and his Death Eaters are looking for me… I am still too weak to defend myself and contrary to what some think, I do not have a death wish.”

 

Remus nodded. “Of course, I forgot… How stupid of me.” He smiled encouragingly at Severus, and had to wait for the other wizard to finally make eye contact. “But I would still love to spend the holidays with you. With Albus gone, we can spend most of our time here. You are also welcome to visit me in my rooms, but I am not sure you feel comfortable there.” Remus briefly wondered if Severus still actually lived in the dungeons. Most of the man’s clothes and belongings had found a way into the Headmaster’s rooms.

 

“I never dared to assume that I was welcome there,” Severus admitted in a moment of pure honesty. He hadn’t wanted to actually say the words, but they had slipped.

 

“You are always welcome in my rooms.” Remus said reassuringly. He felt encouraged now that Severus continued to talk to him and allowed him to hold his hand. “Is it a deal then? We will keep each other company during the holidays? Odds are that we will be the only two people left at Hogwarts.”

 

Severus wasn’t sure why, but for some reason he felt more confident and looked at Remus. “What – exactly- do you mean by spending the holidays together?” He didn’t want to make any assumptions.

 

Remus was actually glad that Severus had asked him that. “We could do presents…” Severus’ stunned look would have amused him if the circumstances had been different, but now it only served to remind him how lonely Severus had been in the past. “Just something small,” he quickly added. “I am sure Dobby and Beryl will be thrilled to provide our meals.”

 

Severus was still pondering the fact that Remus wanted to exchange presents. He had never done that before – there had never been a person who had wanted to do that with him. And how was he going to get Remus a present, considering he couldn’t go to Hogsmeade or Diagon Ally?

 

Remus didn’t have to be an Legilimens to read all that – and more - in Severus’ eyes. “It doesn’t matter what you give me, Severus. You already gave me two of the greatest possible gifts; my life and the Wolfsbane.”

 

“Something small,” Severus started and he wanted to add, something cheap, but stopped himself just in time. He wouldn’t mind getting something cheap, but he didn’t want Remus to think the DADA professor wasn’t worth a nice gift.

 

Remus nodded. “Something small.” He studied Severus’ expression and easily recognized the confusion in those dark eyes. “So, now that’s been settled, tell me, what do you do all night when Albus is not at home?” Remus felt the time had come to change the subject.

 

Severus was grateful for the change in topic. He was still getting used to the fact that Remus wanted to spend Christmas with him! “Normally I read.”

 

“Potions books?” Remus smiled.

 

“Not really.” Severus wasn’t sure telling Remus was the smart thing to do. But then again, maybe the time had come to place some trust in the other wizard. “Albus actually collects Muggle books – mostly detectives. I happen to like them too.”

 

Remus was rather relieved it was nothing more exotic or challenging. “We can read the rest of the evening, if you want to.” He didn’t want to pressure Severus into conversation, knowing the other man needed some silence and privacy at times.

 

“I would like that,” Severus admitted. It also meant that he didn’t have to worry about keeping the conversation going all evening.

 

“Any author in particular you might want to recommend?” Remus asked while following Severus over to one section of Albus’ impressive library.

 

“You might like Sherlock Holmes,” Severus replied after a moment’s thought. He was already reaching for “The Hound of the Baskervilles” when he reconsidered and took hold of “A Study in Scarlet” instead. It wouldn’t do to hand Remus a book about a monstrous dog; it would only remind him of the werewolf that hid inside the DADA-professor.

 

Remus took hold of the book and his fingertips grazed Severus’ skin once more. Keeping a sharp eye on the Potions Master’s reaction, Remus noticed that the other wizard seemed at ease with the touch and didn’t retreat. “Thanks, I will give it a try!” Remus looked about and decided to make himself comfortable on the sofa next to the fireplace, hoping Severus would join him there.

 

Severus suspected Remus had a reason for selecting that particular sofa, and when he noticed the look the DADA-professor gave him, it confirmed his suspicion. What was he going to do? He had enjoyed the close contact so far, but at the same time, his eagerness to continue it, worried him. A part of him still feared Remus might reject him after all.

 

Remus had made himself comfortable and patted the space next to him. “Won’t you join me?”

 

Severus felt torn. In the end, he allowed his feet to take him over to the sofa and sat down – still keeping some distance between them though. He had brought along a book to read himself; an Agatha Christie novel, since he liked them.

 

Remus easily read Severus’ unease in his gestures and expression; he didn’t need to be adapt at Legilimency for that. In a way, it pained him; seeing Severus so damn insecure! Remus knew very well that he was partly to blame for that. He could have stood up to Sirius and James when they had been teenagers, but he had been too scared to do so. Was it too late to make amends, he wondered? By Merlin, he hoped not! Demonstratively, he opened his book and stared reading in the hope it would help settle Severus’ nerves.

 

It did reassure Severus somewhat, for he opened his book and pretended to read. His thoughts ran amok though, wondering why Remus felt so comfortable around him.

 

/

 

Remus put down his book and decided the time for action had come. During the last twenty minutes, Severus’ eyes had opened and closed repeatedly, and now the book was slipping from the Potions Master’s thin fingers. Remus caught it and placed it aside. Severus was asleep, though the tremors that moved through the hands told him that it was far from restful. He privately debated using a levitation spell to put Severus to bed, but then reconsidered; waking up in bed, without Severus knowing how he had gotten there seemed the wrong thing to do. He edged closer and wondered what to do.

 

Severus’ sixth sense kicked in and warned him that he was being watched. He partly opened his eyes, but upon seeing it was merely Remus watching him, he closed them again.

 

“Severus, it seems to me that it is time for bed,” Remus whispered, half amused-half worried. “Do you need help getting there?” He simply assumed Severus still slept in the Headmaster’s bed. He hoped that was the case, because getting Severus into the bedroom would be less worrisome than getting him to the dungeons.

 

“You are right,” Severus said with a sigh. It irked him that he was still so easily exhausted. Especially after resting most of the day. “I apologize for falling asleep on you.” He opened his eyes again and gave Remus an apologetic look. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

“I know that,” Remus quickly soothed. “Do you need help getting there?”

 

“No, I will manage.” And if not, he would sleep on the sofa. It wouldn’t be the first time he spend a night there.

 

“Will I see you at breakfast?”

 

Severus noticed the hopeful tone and fought the blush that wanted to spread across his face. “Probably,” he replied; he wasn’t sure he would make it to the Great Hall in time. On some mornings, he had a hard time waking up. Sometimes, he felt like he could sleep for forever.

 

“I wish you a good night’s rest, Severus. And I do hope I will see you at breakfast tomorrow. If not, may I call on you during the morning?” At seeing Severus’ puzzled look, he added, “Just to make sure you are well.”

 

Severus nodded rather slowly. Remus had always shown an interest in his health, but these days, it was more than just interest. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “You may do so,” he whispered eventually.

 

Remus smiled brilliantly at Severus, relieved at receiving a positive reply. He found it hard to finally take his leave. He would have preferred to stay with Severus and to make sure he didn’t suffer from nightmares during the night. Looking at Severus now, and seeing the unguarded and open expression in those dark eyes, the crush he had suffered as a teenager came rushing back. Back in the Marauding days, he had fallen in love with Severus. But he had been too scared and insecure to act upon it. As a matter of fact, he had denied his feelings back then, hoping they would go away again. And they had, for some time, but now they were back with a vengeance. “Sleep tight, Severus,” he whispered and while reminding himself that he was no longer that frightened teenager, he leaned in closer and pressed a gentle kiss onto Severus’ brow. He fully expected Severus to pull away, but the Potions Master remained motionless instead. Maybe too stunned to react…

 

Severus blinked in surprise. Never – not in a hundred years – had he expected Remus to kiss him. Soft lips pressed against his brow, making him stare at the DADA-professor in silent wonder. Why had he done that? Why kiss him?

 

Remus forced himself to smile, although, in reality, he felt deeply worried. Severus might still shove him aside. Severus however did nothing of the kind. He merely stared at him disbelief. Remus’ smile turned more genuine and he barely resisted the urge to tuck some stray, black hair behind Severus’ ear. “I will see you at breakfast then.” Remus forced himself to get to his feet and to put some distance between them. He gave Severus one last, shy smile and then practically fled the room.

 

Severus watched Remus depart and wondered what had just happened between them. Whatever it was, it caused a warm, tingling feeling inside him. He had savored the kiss, and the touches Remus had bestowed on him. A smile lingered on his face when he made his way into the bedroom. For once he did not worry about any nightmares that might haunt him during the night.

 

/

 

Remus quickly closed the door to his rooms behind him. He released the breath he had been holding and closed his eyes in an attempt to gather his wits. He had come very close to divulging his feelings to Severus – feelings, which he hadn’t realized where still so very strong. The question however remained, what to do about them? Should he act on them? Or bury them deeply within his psyche? Severus had seemed to welcome his attention, but maybe that was just a reaction to the emotional upheaval he had suffered recently? No matter what he decided, Remus knew he had to take this step by step.

 

/

 

“Severus?”

 

Severus slowly opened his eyes at recognizing the voice. “Jeffrey?” He hadn’t expected the healer to check on him and wondered about his presence.

 

Jeffrey sat on the side of the bed and studied his patient. Severus looked relaxed and hadn’t suffered from nightmares when he had arrived, which was rather uncommon – although also very welcome. Come to think of it, Severus looked rather well. Which was a first – especially first thing in the morning. “Morning, Severus. I didn’t want to wake you, but…” He was curious; what had brought about that change?

 

“I do not mind,” Severus replied. “I should get ready anyway.” A warm feeling settled in his abdomen upon recalling Remus’ request to join him for breakfast. “I am expected in the Great Hall,” he added reluctantly. Jeffrey’s expression however told him that more information would be required.

 

“That’s definitely a first,” Jeffrey remarked, amused. “I can’t recall the last time you were in a hurry to get to the Great Hall. What has changed?” He thought it best to be direct – being subtle seldom worked with Severus.

 

“Remus…” Severus whispered as he sat up and leaned his back against the wall. “We had dinner last night.” He had learned a long time ago that being honest was best when dealing with one of the healers.

 

“Ah, yes, father mentioned it! How did it go?” Judging from Severus’ expression, it had gone well – at least he hoped so! Severus deserved a break!

 

“We ate… talked… and read,” Severus revealed reluctantly. He still wasn’t sure what had happened the other night.

 

And Jeffrey sensed it. “And what else?”

 

“It was strange,” Severus whispered, giving in and looking Jeffrey in the eyes. “He held my hand most of the evening. Eventually I fell asleep on the sofa and he kissed me goodnight – on my brow, but still.” He averted his eyes, disliking the fact that he didn’t know why Remus had done those things.

 

Jeffrey caught on quickly, realizing what might be Severus’ problem. “It sounds like he really likes you, Severus.”

 

“I like him too,” Severus whispered, once more staring blankly at the wall.

 

Ah, more hints were needed! Jeffrey took hold of Severus’ hand, wrapped his fingers around it and started a slow, but steady flow of healing energy, at which Severus once more focused on him.

 

“I am fine,” Severus said, sounding slightly stronger this time.

 

“You are improving,” Jeffrey freely admitted. “Now tell me more about Remus.”

 

“There is not much left to tell,” Severus remarked and frowned. “Why are you so interested in Remus?”

 

Jeffrey gently squeezed his patient’s hand. “Has it ever occurred to you that Remus might really LIKE you?”

 

Severus’ frown deepened. “I do not understand.”

 

Jeffrey wasn’t surprised. “Severus, I like you. I consider you a friend, as much as a patient. I care about you, but it would never cross my mind to kiss your brow. That goes beyond friendship.” Would Severus finally figure it out?

 

“What are you saying? Remus and I are friends, at least I believe he thinks me worthy of friendship.”

 

“Oh, Severus!” Jeffrey shook his head. There was no way around it; he had to actually say the words. “Has it ever occurred to you that Remus might be in love with you?” Seeing the shock on Severus’ face told Jeffrey everything he needed to know. “You didn’t.” Come to think of it, had Severus ever had a lover? Somehow, Jeffrey doubted it.

 

“In love? With me?” Severus tried to wrap his mind about the absurdity of it. “Jeffrey, no one could possibly… I mean… What’s there to love? Only a mad person would…” He failed to finish his sentences, as Jeffrey’s remark truly upset him. “Remus can do much better than me!”

 

And we are back to the low self-esteem issue, Jeffrey thought. He had discussed Severus’ self loathing with his father – several times actually and had always hoped he would get a chance to address it. “Severus, there is much to love about you. Remus has good taste, you know, picking you.”

 

“You are mad,” Severus said dismissively. “Just look at me.” Severus pulled his hand from Jeffrey’s grasp and pressed his arm which bore the Dark Mark against his chest. “I am marked for life. I can never atone for the crimes of my past. I don’t deserve any affection.” He rubbed his skin through the fabric of his nightshirt. “I am a dark wizard, Jeffrey. I am evil.”

 

Jeffrey couldn’t allow Severus to push him away and therefore re-established his hold on Severus’ hand. He pulled the marked arm into his lap and poured healing energy into the limb. “That’s humbug, Severus. You shouldn’t put yourself down like that.” Jeffrey moistened his lips while trying to think of what to add. Severus wanted to speak again, but Jeffrey quickly silenced him by tugging at his arm. “No, listen to me. Just hear me out and Severus, hear me… Truly hear what I am saying!” Jeffrey felt pleased when Severus made eye contact. Hopefully he would be able to get through to him. “You saved Remus, Severus. You saved Harry, more than once, I might add. You risked your life countless times in order to spy for Albus. Severus, you are not a dark wizard. You may have been confused as a teenager, but that is no longer who you are today.”

 

Severus was afraid to believe the healer. Jeffrey had to be wrong. “Then tell me, who am I – today?”

 

Jeffrey’s heart ached for his patient. “Can’t you tell me instead? What defines you, Severus? What defines the wizard you are today?”

 

Severus looked away again, but Jeffrey intervened by placing a hand against his cheek and turning his head back toward him. With no choice left, Severus had to look at the healer once more. “I do not know the answer to your question.” It was the truth - he still thought of himself as utterly unworthy and dark.

 

Jeffry would have preferred for Severus to answer the question, but he couldn’t leave this unspoken. Severus had to know – had to start to understand who he was today. “Then let me tell you, Severus. You are brave, very brave indeed. No listen!” he said firmly when Severus snorted in disdain. “You are a brave man! You faced Voldemort and his Death Eaters time and time again! I lost count of the times you practically crawled back to Hogwarts because of the nerve damage the Cruciatus had done! And yet, you would go back in search of new information!”

 

“Atonement… Punishment,” Severus muttered, his eyes growing oddly wet with emotions. “No bravery – not all.”

 

Jeffrey would have none of it. “You are brave, Severus Snape, whether you want to believe it or not. You are also compassionate.” Severus snorted again, and Jeffrey fought for patience. “You are compassionate, Severus. You never hesitated when it became clear that Remus had been cursed. How long did it take you to reach the decision to remove that curse?”

 

“One second,” Severus admitted, feeling shy. “But you mistake repentance for compassion. I merely saw a chance to repent for a mistake I made in the past.”

 

“No, Severus, you are compassionate and brave. You are also fiercely loyal. You would do anything for Albus, and if I am not mistaken you would also sacrifice your life if that meant saving Remus, Harry, or even my father or myself.” The look Severus gave him told him he was correct. “You are brave, Severus, and also compassionate and loyal. You are highly intelligent… Cunning… Severus, there is so much to love about you, if only you would give Remus a chance!”

 

Severus still wasn’t convinced though. “Jeffrey, I know that you mean well, but it would end in disaster. Remus is…” Severus paused, hesitated, but then plunged on, “He is the compassionate one. He could easily be with anyone he wants. People like him for who he is. They hate me upon first sight. We would be a bad match. We would never work out.”

 

“Severus, I do not agree. I believe the two of you are highly compatible.” Jeffrey however realized it would take a lot of time, and effort on Remus’ part, for Severus to change his mind. “Albus loves you, yes?”

 

Severus nodded; there was no way he could deny it. He had actually felt Albus’ love for him.

 

“He loves you as a father loves his child. He thinks you are worthy of his love… Doesn’t that tell you there is a lot to love about you?” Jeffrey decided that in order to convince Severus, every tactic was allowed, even playing dirty.

 

Severus had to concede the point Jeffrey had made. Albus did love him; did think him worthy. That implied there was something good to him. But…

 

“Severus, stop tormenting yourself in such a way!” Jeffrey realized he had to discuss this matter with his father, who was much more adapt at healing emotional hurt. He was about to speak again, when the door to the bedroom suddenly opened, admitting Remus.

 

Remus felt quite the fool for barging in like that on what was obviously a private conversation. “Sorry,” he offered, rather sheepishly. “But I grew worried when you didn’t join me in the Great Hall.”

 

Severus knew he shouldn’t stare, but he couldn’t help himself. Remus had stormed into the room because he had missed him at breakfast? He blinked, recalling what Jeffrey had just told him, namely that Remus might be in love with him. Suddenly, it didn’t seem impossible anymore. Jeffrey might be right; Remus might be in love with him, but if that was the case, he had to find a way to stop Remus from developing more feelings for him. Remus had to understand that he could do so much better! That falling in love with him was one big mistake!

 

“I will leave the two of you to breakfast then,” Jeffrey said, quickly deciding on his course of action. He wanted to talk to his father as quickly as possible, and he had the feeling that Remus might be successful where he had failed. Remus, being in love with Severus, might be able to break through the Potions master’s defenses and get through to him.

 

Remus wondered about the healer’s rapt departure and sat down on the bed. “Is something amiss?” Severus looked stunned and he didn’t like that particular expression. Without giving it any conscious thought, he reached for Severus’ hand again.

 

Severus felt Remus wrap his fingers around his limb and wanted to pull away. Something stopped him though – Remus’ expression. He didn’t make the actual decision to use Legilimency, it just happened. Without wanting to, he slipped into Remus’ mind and looked about in wonder. Warm, tender feelings, and thoughts were directed at him, surrounded him, and that instant, he realized Jeffrey was right; Remus Lupin was in love with him, the poor misguided man! He had to rectify that mistake! “Nothing’s wrong,” he replied belatedly. “I merely did not expect Jeffrey to check on me this morning.” The measure of concern for him, which he encountered in Remus’ mind, made him feel humble. Remus shouldn’t worry that much about him. He really shouldn’t.

 

“Why don’t you get ready for the day? I will ask Dobby to serve breakfast.” Remus worried about Severus, who seemed distant and unfocused.

 

Severus nodded. “I will join you in a few minutes.” He needed a moment so sort out his thoughts. He had to find a way to discourage Remus from spending time with him. Hopefully, then those feelings of infatuation would fade!

 

/

 

Severus kept his word and joined Remus fifteen minutes later, but much to his surprise, the DADA-professor was no longer alone. Harry had joined him. Eying them quizzically, Severus wondered about the best course of action.

 

“Ah, Severus, sit! Have some tea and eat!” Remus still worried about the fact that the Potions Master was much too thin and had privately vowed to make sure Severus ate regular meals!

 

“Mister Potter,” Severus said while sitting down, once more determined to put some distance between them.

 

“It’s Harry, sir,” he reminded his teacher. Studying Severus, Harry realized he looked haunted. “I am leaving for the Burrow in an hour and want to say goodbye. I am happy to hear you will have company during the holidays.” He had felt relieved at hearing Remus would stay with Severus.

 

Oh, Christmas! He had completely forgotten about that! “I hope you will have a good time with the Weasleys, be careful around the twins though.”

 

“I will,” Harry said and chuckled. “Sir, can I ask you something?” He grew serious once more, as he wasn’t sure how Severus would react to his question.

 

“I cannot guarantee I will answer,” Severus said as he poured some much needed tea. He still felt rather sleepy.

 

Harry exchanged a look with Remus. They had been discussing removing the curse when Severus had joined them. “Sir, I am grateful that you healed me – and Remus, but you knew that healing me could cost you your life.”

 

“That is not a question, Potter,” Severus pointed out to him. He knew what Harry was asking him though - it came down to the conversation he had had with Jeffrey.

 

“Harry, sir,” he said determinedly, realizing Severus was trying to throw up barriers. “Why did you do it then? You could have died when you removed that curse from me.”

 

Severus looked down, stared at his hands, which lay folded in his lap. Should he admit the truth? “Because my life is worth less than yours. You deserve to live – the both of you.” Because he had averted his eyes, he missed the look that passed between the two of them.

 

Harry stared at Remus, feeling rather stunned. Had his teacher really said that? Did Severus not value his life? Harry found that hard to believe, considering all the things the Potions Master had done for them in the past.

 

For Remus, it was merely a confirmation of what he already knew. Severus’ extreme low self-esteem, combined with the torture he had endured had beaten the Potions Master down. Acting on instinct, Remus reached for Severus’ hand once more. “Severus, Harry and I would do the same thing for you. Should the situation ever arise, we will do our best to save your life in turn, and no, no objections!”

 

Severus had wanted to protest, but Remus had beaten him to it. It was beyond him why everyone insisted he was worth saving! “if you say so,” he whispered, not up to discussing the matter further.

 

“It is almost Christmas,” Harry said and uncovered a small parcel. “I am early, but I won’t be around during the holidays. I would like you to have this, sir,” Harry said and handed Severus the gift-wrapped package. He hoped he had made a good choice when purchasing the present.

 

Severus stared at the parcel in disbelief. Harry had actually bought him a gift? “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, feeling ill at ease. He didn’t have anything to give Harry in turn and that made him merely stare at the parcel instead of unwrapping it.

 

Harry exchanged a look with Remus; both of them had a good idea of what was going to Severus’ mind. Harry had learned a lot where the Potions Master was concerned during these last few months and understood why Severus hesitated accepting it. “Please unwrap it, sir. I want to know if you like it. I would have given it to you on Christmas Day, but as I won’t be here, I thought now would be best.”

 

Severus realized he had no choice and carefully started to remove the gift wrap. He wanted to tear it as little as possible and took great care to remove it in one piece.

 

Harry gave Remus another knowing look. Receiving a gift was a new experience to Severus.

 

Severus cocked his head and then smiled upon finding a pair of black mittens and a woolen scarf inside. In the right hand corner a cauldron adored the fabric and a snitch was circling inside it.

 

Harry grinned. “I must admit the Headmaster helped me with that spell. I am not very good at charms.”

 

“Thank you, Harry,” Severus said eventually in a very soft voice. He didn’t know how to act. “I like it very much, but it was unnecessary. There is no reason why you should get me a gift.”

 

“I don’t agree,” Harry said as he rose from his chair and came to stand in front of the older wizard. “It’s the least you deserve for everything you did for Remus and I.” The moist quality to those dark eyes told Harry that his little present truly affected the Potions Master. The last thing he wanted was for the older wizard to experience another breakdown. Severus had suffered too much already. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but when he wrapped his arms around the older wizard’s shoulders, he knew it had been the right thing to do. Severus seemed to calm down and after a moment, even returned the gesture – wrapping his arms around him in turn.

 

Remus sighed in relief. He had suspected that receiving a gift might make Severus emotional again, and he had been right. Thankfully, Harry had known how to deal with the situation.

 

“Thank you, Harry,” Severus murmured when the young man loosened the embrace. “I will enjoy wearing them this winter.”

 

“Your hands always feel cold,” Harry recalled. “Hopefully you will feel warm for a change.”

 

Severus managed a small smile, deeply touched that Harry worried about him to such a degree. “I hope you will have a good time at the Burrow.”

 

“It will be fine,” Harry admitted, finally releasing the older wizard from the hold. “But this time I won’t mind coming back to Hogwarts after the holidays. In the past, I always worried about you bullying me. I don’t have to worry about that anymore, do I?”

 

Remus also looked questioningly at Severus.

 

Severus nodded. “Those days are over. Bullying you and favoring the children of Death Eaters no longer serves any purpose.”

 

“That’s great!” Harry exclaimed happily. “I have to go now,” he announced, suddenly regretting having to leave the older wizard who still looked awfully fragile. “But I will keep in touch! I will send you letters!”

 

“You don’t have to do that, Harry. Don’t worry about me. Just enjoy yourself.”

 

Remus wanted to comment on that, but Harry beat him to it.

 

“I DO worry about you, sir. And I won’t stop worrying just because you say so.” In a softer voice he added, “You were willing to die in order to save me. That gives me the right to worry about you!”

 

Well done! Remus thought, silently praising the young man. Looking at Severus, it was rather obvious that the Potions Master didn’t know how to deal with Harry’s concern for him.

 

Harry patted Severus’ hand in an attempt to prolong their goodbye, but then had to leave after all. He smiled at the Potions Master and hoped the older wizard would continue to improve during the holidays.

 

Remus watched Severus for a long moment; the Potions Master seemed frozen in time and continued to stare at the mittens and scarf. Harry’s gift had given him a good idea where his own present was concerned. He only needed to make a quick stop at Hogsmeade later today. “Severus, you should sit down and eat something.” Severus still was too thin.

 

Remus’ voice pulled him from his musings and Severus sat down, placing the mittens and scarf in his lap. “Did you know about these?” Cautiously, he made eye contact.

 

“No, I didn’t. Why?”

 

“I wonder what prompted his actions.” Severus genuinely liked the gift. The added charm showed that Harry had given the nature of the present much thought. And worst, Albus hadn’t let anything slip!

 

“He cares about you, Severus. You gained his friendship and Harry highly values his friends. Whether you want to or not, you now belong to that privileged group.”

 

Severus shook his head. “He shouldn’t do that. I don’t deserve it.”

 

“But you do!” Remus moved forward on his chair and rested a hand on Severus’ shoulder. He hadn’t wanted to breach this particular subject so soon, but it seemed he had no choice. “I can only hope that you will realize the truth – namely that the person you are today is lovable, caring, and very courageous.” Severus gave him a sharp look that bordered on hatred when he had said he was lovable. “You ARE lovable, Severus. You are not the evil bastard you think you are. You are not evil. You care, and I happen to like you a lot. I don’t want you to put yourself down. You need to hear the truth – you deserve nothing less! And the truth is, that I respect you, Severus. And I care about you – greatly.”

 

Remus’ declaration made him extremely shy and he recalled Jeffrey’s words, namely that the DADA-professor might be in love with him. That was probably the reason why Remus had said those things.

 

“You need to eat, Severus,” Remus said, backing down as he didn’t want to overwhelm Severus. He removed his hand, filled up a plate with eggs, sausage, and some toast. He kept the portions rather small so Severus might actually be able to eat it. It would take time for Severus’ stomach to grow used to larger quantities of food. “Tea?”

 

Severus nodded and accepted the food. He was hungry, and the portion size was doable. He started to eat and occasionally nipped from his tea. He couldn’t help but wonder if the rest of the day would hold more surprise. He wasn’t sure he was up to them!

 

/

 

“Ah, Albus, a quick word before you join Severus?” It was a lucky coincidence that James Barnes ran into the Headmaster. Both were on their way to see Severus, but James wanted to discuss a certain matter without his patient meddling in the affair.

 

Albus, who had been on his way to check on Severus, prayed for patience and gestured for James to join him. They ended up seated on a large windowsill in the corridor leading up to the Headmaster’s office. “Please tell me that Severus is fine.” Hopefully nothing bad had happened during his absence! “Did Voldemort summon him?” He had taught Jeffrey and James the counter spell, just in case.

 

James quickly shook his head. “Thankfully not. I want to talk to you about something different; Severus’ housing arrangements.”

 

Albus raised an eyebrow. “What is amiss with Severus living with me?”

 

James’ eyes narrowed. He had to keep the Headmaster’s protective streak in mind. “Basically nothing, but… Severus is a grown man. An adult. In time, he will require some privacy.”

 

Albus blinked. “Explain yourself, James.”

 

James delicately moistened his lips. “It has come to my attention – courtesy of my son – that Severus might have a suitor he isn’t yet aware of.”

 

“Ah,” Albus now realizing where this was headed. “We are talking about Remus.”

 

James sighed in relief. Maybe this would go easier than he had thought. “You realize Remus has taken an interest in Severus then?”

 

“It is hard to miss… Once you look for it, it is rather obvious.”

 

“And you don’t mind?” James knew that Albus’ approval – or disapproval – would guide Severus’ actions.

 

“I welcome it,” Albus said reassuringly. “I won’t stand in his way.” Albus realized now why James was bringing up their living arrangements. “I am loath to send him back to the dungeons though. Severus needs something airy and sunny instead.”

 

James smiled, his relief still growing. “And he needs some privacy, which is why personal quarters would be best.”

 

“I agree, although walking in on them might be amusing it would also send Severus into a panic attack.”

 

James’ smile sobered. “What do you suggest? For you are correct; I fear Severus might not react well to you walking in on them.”

 

Albus thought it over. “Actually, there are some unused rooms in the same corridor Remus’ quarters are in. They would do… Quite sunny, spacey, and far away from the dungeons. I will close down the floo in those rooms though. I don’t want Severus worrying about the things that can invade his rooms that way. He can use Remus’ floo if necessary or the one located in the corridor.” Yes, he did like the idea now that he was thinking about it. “I won’t seal off the dungeons as his personal lab is located there, but I will ask the house elves to create a new working space where he can house his lab in time.”

 

“Albus, thank you for being so open minded. I worried that you might not want to let Severus go.” That had been a very real concern where James had been concerned.

 

Albus nodded in understanding. “I would love to keep Severus with me, James, but he is my child, and not my lover. I am not so arrogant or selfish to think that I am all he needs. I can be his parent, but there are certain needs only a lover can take care of and I want that for Severus. By Merlin, he so deserves that!”

 

James smiled happily at Albus. “You do realize he will fight you over this? He won’t want to leave you. He will think that moving out equals betraying you.”

 

“That thought crossed my mind.” Albus nodded in turn. “But I am also confident we will find a way to deal with him.” He winked at the healer. “Severus doesn’t stand a chance when the two of us team up against him. He knows that.”

 

James chuckled; Albus was very right indeed!

 

/

 

Albus’ heart twitched upon finding Severus staring at the mittens and scarf, which still occupied his lap. As he had helped Harry charm them, he knew whom they were from. Gesturing James to follow him, Albus made his way over to where Severus was seated and took a seat opposite him. “Severus? What is amiss, child?”

 

James stayed in the background for now, but was determined to intervene should the situation call for it.

 

Severus sighed and then looked at his mentor. “Nothing makes sense anymore.”

 

Albus felt relieved now that Severus was willing to talk to him. “Care to tell me more?”

 

Severus frowned while his fingers caressed the soft fabric. “First, Remus invites me for dinner. Then Jeffrey suggests Remus might be in love with me… Do you know that Remus actually stormed in here this morning because I wasn’t in the Great Hall to have breakfast with him?”

 

“Jeffrey told me,” James said and smiled.

 

Severus gave the healer a quick look and then focused on Albus once more. “Harry gave these to me as a Christmas present. I never expected him to do that… And you helped him charm these!” he suddenly remembered.

 

Albus nodded. “I did.” A thought occurred to him then. “Speaking of charms, maybe the time has come for me to end the one I placed on you the day you came to me for help?”

 

James, suddenly alerted, stepped closer to the two wizards. “What charm?” And why didn’t he know about it?

 

Severus however shook his head. “No, don’t tamper with it, Albus. I am fine with the way things are.”

 

“Albus, what charm?” James sat down next to the Headmaster and gave him an admonishing look. “I need to know in case it’s interfering with his recovery.”

 

“It’s not,” Albus insisted, “but you should know about it, yes.” He noticed the stricken expression on his child’s face, but was determined to carry on. “Severus, there is no longer a need for it. You don’t have to hide anymore.”

 

“Albus, Severus, what is this about?” Remus, who had made quick use of the Headmaster’s lavatory, stepped into the living area again. He had overheard their comments and also wanted to know what this was about. “Severus, what charm are we talking about?” Seeing that Albus and James sat opposite Severus, he opted to sit next to the Potions Master, hoping to emotionally support him.

 

Remus was the last person Severus wanted to find out about the charm. He could have dealt with James and Jeffrey knowing the truth, but Remus?

 

“Let me explain the matter to you,” Albus said, making up his mind and ignoring the startled sound Severus made. “No, child, it is time to do away with deception.”

 

“Deception?” James didn’t like this one bit.

 

Severus closed his eyes and wished his mentor would reconsider. “Please don’t do this.”

 

“I must…” Albus reached across the table and gathered Severus’ left hand in his. “Please trust me.”

 

Severus released a shuddering breath and lowered his head. “I do trust you.”

 

Albus briefly squeezed Severus’ hand and then let go, but not before signaling Remus to take action. The DADA-professor caught on and gathered Severus’ other hand in his instead, trying to express his support that way. The expression in Severus’ eyes changed, and when the wizard looked at him, Remus swallowed hard at seeing the fear in those black eyes. “What’s this about?”

 

Albus hoped that Severus would find the courage to tell them; if he didn’t, he would do it in his stead.

 

James was trying his best to be patient, but it was difficult, as he didn’t know if he was dealing with a grave situation or not.

 

Severus drew in a deep breath before looking away from Remus. He didn’t want to see the other man’s expression when he found out. “That night, Albus and I agreed that I had to play my part here at Hogwarts. I had to be convincing as a Death Eater, who wanted revenge, who was angry with everyone. Back then, I…” Severus didn’t know how to continue and looked to Albus for help.

 

“To be honest,” the Headmaster said, continuing, “Severus found it hard, if not impossible to hide the anguish he was in. Outwardly he had to pretend being ruthless, but when one looked at him, sorrow stared back at you. In the end, we reached a decision. I added glamours to his appearance so that when one looked at him, one would see a truly spiteful wizard, grown old before his time. I also helped him to occulude his mind and he quickly learned to shut out discontenting feelings. To make a long story short, the wizard you see in front of you is an illusion.”

 

Remus stared at Severus in disbelief. “What are you saying, Albus?”

 

“I have hidden Severus’ original looks behind a spell -- a charm.”

 

James had to stop himself from growing angry. In the past, it had been Jeffrey who had had differences with Albus, but now it seemed they were in for a row as well. “And why didn’t you remove that spell when it became apparent that his spying days were over?”

 

“I have gotten used to it over the years,” Severus whispered, trying to defend Albus, who, in his opinion, didn’t deserve James’ anger. He stared at his hand, which was still in Remus’ tight hold. “I don’t know how I really look like these days… I’m fine with the way things are.”

 

Remus however shook his head. “Severus, I want to see the real you, not some illusion caused by a spell. Albus, can you remove it?”

 

“I can, but I am not sure I should do so without Severus’ permission.”

 

James wasn’t sure he agreed. “Albus, you need to remove that spell at any rate. How can Severus start all over again living a lie?”

 

Remus turned Severus’ hand palm upwards and traced the lines. “Have you never checked on your appearance, Severus?”

 

“I can’t, Remus. Only Albus can lift the spell. It’s not something you can switch off and on at will.” Maybe he should try harder to change their minds to let him be, but he felt lost, and at the moment, he lacked the strength to fight them. Why cancel the spell? His looks wouldn’t improve – he knew that.

 

“Albus, please,” Remus pleaded softly. “You need to do this.”

 

Albus knew Remus was right. “Please forgive me, Severus. Forgive me for waiting this long.” Albus withdrew the Elderwand from his robes and pointed it at Severus.

 

Severus raised his head and looked at the older wizard. “What’s the point, Albus? I was ugly as a teenager, nothing has changed.” What if, in reality, he looked even more like the bat from the dungeons? “This is what I know – this is what I can deal with.”

 

Albus was reluctant to proceed without Severus’ permission, but then again, Severus hadn’t been in his right mind for weeks. He had to trust his instincts and couldn’t allow Severus to guide his actions – not this time. “I am sorry, child.”

 

Severus closed his eyes, unwilling to see the disgust in their eyes when they looked upon him for the first time. He could do without that. Remus tightened his hold on his hand, which briefly comforted him, but Severus knew it wouldn’t last. Remus would let go and turn away from him the moment his true self was revealed.

 

Albus focused his magic and said in a clear voice, “Let the true self be revealed at last. Let all illusion fade and truth be revealed.”

 

Remus kept his gaze trained on Severus and immediately noticed the changes taking place to Severus’ face – and body for that matter. The facial skin changed from Severus’ normal pallor to a more healthy tint. The dark hair lengthened and reached Severus’ lower back. It shone with health. The facial features tightened and looked rejuvenated. Severus, who had always looked fifty instead of thirty-five, finally looked his age. The black eyes lost some of their intensity and changed to a light hazel. “Amazing,” Remus whispered, unable to take his eyes off Severus’ face. Severus suddenly looked twenty years younger!

 

“Amazing indeed,” James remarked in wonder. But then his anger returned again. Albus should have performed the counter spell months ago. The charm had probably set back Severus’ recovery. For how could the mind fully heal if the body remained cloaked in a spell?

 

“Oh, Severus, my dear boy, I AM sorry,” Albus muttered, regretting his past mistakes, but at the same time, he was able to take great joy in the fact that Severus’ appearance had finally been restored. If he wasn’t mistaken, Severus might find himself at the center of several courtiers. Although a few scars showed on Severus’s brow and throat, it didn’t deter from the man’s inner beauty, which finally shone through.

 

Severus kept his eyes shut. He wasn’t sure how to interpret their reactions. So far, Remus continued to hold his hand, which in itself was encouraging. But in the back of his mind, a little voice told him that it was just a matter of time before the DADA-professor would let go and turn away from him.

 

Had his looks worsened? Did he resemble the bat from the dungeons even more? Would Albus be convinced to cast the spell all over again in order to hide his ugliness?

 

“Maybe a mirror will help,” Albus suggested and conjured one. He got to his feet and sat down at Severus’ other side. “Look, child, and don’t fear yourself.”

 

Severus didn’t want to look and closed his eyes. “No,” he whispered, his misery showing clearly in his voice.

 

“Severus,” Remus said, taking over. “You look younger… You look your age… Your wrinkles have vanished, your skin has tightened and overall, your looks have greatly improved. You will find yourself at the center of quite some attention when the students notice you have changed.”

 

Severus found that hard to believe, but his curiosity got the better of him and he peeked at his reflection. At least, it had been his intention to merely peek, but when he caught sight of his image, he found it impossible to look away. The man staring back at him was a stranger – a handsome wizard, looking better than he had ever recalled looking, but still, a stranger. “That is not me,” he whispered, stunned.

 

“Actually, that is you,” Albus pointed out in a tender voice. “The face that looked back at you during all these years was fake, Severus. This is the real you, and may I say that your looks have greatly improved?”

 

Severus still couldn’t believe it and shook his head. How odd, his mirror image did the same thing. But… It was hard to reconcile the two and accept that the face staring back at him was the real Severus Snape. He would need time to get used to the way he looked, but he was confident he would manage it. His appearance could have turned out much worse.

 

“Maybe some healing salve will smooth away those scars?” James suggested. “I carry some with me. I want to attend to those scars before I leave for home.”

 

Remus ran his fingers through the long, black hair that now reached Severus’ lower back. “Didn’t you ever notice?”

 

“Not really… The spell took care of it.” He would definitely have to get a haircut – something he loathed, magically or manually, he wouldn’t allow anyone close, but doing it himself might end in disaster. He conjured a hairclip and scooped his hair up until he could force the strands into a pony tail. He would attend to his hair later. “I can’t go outside like this,” he murmured, casting another look at the mirror. “How could I possibly explain…”

 

“Leave that to me, Severus,” Albus said quickly. “And at the moment, only a handful of students still remain at Hogwarts – and a few staff members.”

 

“It might be best to show yourself before the holidays,” James mused. “That way, the students who see you have a chance to spread the news.”

 

Albus cast a critical look at Severus’ clothes. Although the man’s build had largely remained the same, the clothes no longer fit as perfectly as they normally did. “A trip to Hogsmeade is in order. You need new clothes.”

 

“I can spell them to fit.” Severus didn’t think going into Hogsmeade was the smart thing to do.

 

“I beg to differ,” Albus objected. “I also want to see you in something else besides black.” That caught Severus’ attention all right.

 

Severus shook his head. “No, Albus, no shopping trip and no absurd colors!”

 

“I was thinking of dark greens, Severus, maybe some grey? Everything but black. You have been in mourning for too long.”

 

James’ eyes widened, as did Remus, as they both realized the same thing at the same time. So that was why Severus was so adamant about wearing black!

 

Severus sighed, knowing better than to get into an argument with his mentor which he would not win. “Nothing fancy!”

 

“My dear boy,” Albus said, “I hope you do not think greens and grey fancy!”

 

Severus’ fingertips glided along the fabric of his black frock. “I happen to like black,” he said, trying to change Albus’ mind in a more subtle way.

 

“No, you don’t. Severus, your Death Eaters days are over. You don’t have to wear black anymore.”

 

James blinked. “Why would he have to wear black during such a meeting?”

 

“It came in handy afterwards,” Albus supplied in a firm voice when Severus tried to stop him from talking. “Black hides blood stains. You do remember how often Severus returned to us carrying injuries?”

 

“Of course,” James whispered. He had often taken care of the injured Potions Master after such a meeting.

 

“Well, it’s settled then! We will visit Hogsmeade after lunch! I need to buy some Christmas presents myself!” Albus felt content now that the matter had been settled.

 

“Severus, no one will recognize you,” Remus offered upon seeing the Potions Master’s worried expression. “And Albus and I will stay close.”

 

“I will accompany you as well,” James said decisively. “And I will ask Jeffrey to join us in Hogsmeade.”

 

“Maybe we can ask Minerva to come along as well! She mentioned going to Hogsmeade today!” Albus wanted Severus to feel safe, and he was under the impression that visiting Hogsmeade in a group might help.

 

Severus gave in, in the end, knowing when he was outnumbered. He merely hoped there were no Death Eaters out there looking for him.

 

/

 

“There is no reason to be scared,” James said, trying to reassure Severus. “Except the irrational fears in your head. I know they are there, but Severus, they are redundant.” James had offered to walk Severus to the gate, where they would meet Albus, Remus and Minerva. Albus still had to finish a last minute letter, Remus had left, in order to change his clothes for something warmer, and that had left James with the task of keeping an eye on Severus – something which he didn’t mind at all.

 

Severus wasn’t convinced though and carefully searched for anyone who might step into the corridor. He hoped they wouldn’t meet anyone. He already worried about explaining his changed appearance to Minerva.

 

“What are you scared of?” James pressed on when Severus didn’t react. He took hold of his patient’s arm and scanned him.

 

“Being called a liar? Or deceiver?” Severus whispered, barely loud enough for James to hear.

 

“Severus, it was Albus who cast that spell. You didn’t do it in order to deceive your allies. You did it in order to spy on Voldemort!” Severus desperately needed a reality-check and James was more than willing to supply it. “You saved a lot of lives by playing that role!”

 

Severus suddenly came to a halt and froze. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Not now, not here!

 

Harry blinked in surprise. He was on his way to the apparition point, together with Ron, Fred and George, Arthur and Molly, who had collected their children for the journey. Harry looked at Remus and smiled, glad to see his friend before leaving for the Burrow. Then he looked at the man standing next to his mentor and frowned. The man, dressed in black, looked familiar, but…

 

“Severus?” Arthur barely believed his eyes. “Severus, is that you?”

 

Harry blinked again. Of course! The man reminded him of Professor Snape. He could easily pass for his younger brother!

 

Severus wished the floor would open and swallow him. Why did his secret have to come into the open like this? “Yes, it is me.”

 

Arthur took a step closer to the Potions Master. “What happened? You look… young…” More than that, Severus looked rejuvenated.

 

“It’s a long story,” Remus said when Severus failed to reply. “What it comes down to is the Headmaster casting a spell on Severus to make him look more like an angry Death Eater. Albus removed that spell this morning and Severus is still getting used to the way he really looks.”

 

Arthur understood why Albus might have done it, but that didn’t mean he condoned it. Ever since Sirius Black harassing Severus and his twins sticking up for their teacher, his perception of the Potions Master had changed. He was more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Molly suddenly moved closer to him and wrapped an arm around him. He looked at her, and he knew exactly what she was thinking. He happened to agree with her.

 

“Severus, where will you be during the holidays?” Molly had never thought she would one day invite Severus Snape to the Burrow, but Fred and George had shared their adventures and she had gotten to know a different side to the normally so aloof Potions Master.

 

“I will be here, at Hogwarts,” Severus whispered, wondering why she wanted to know.

 

“You are welcome to join us at the Burrow,” Fred said, moving past his parents and smiling at his teacher. “If you can put up with the pranks, that is. None will be at your expense though, I can promise you that.” He agreed with his mother; Snape needed to be among people. He would never have guessed that the Potions Master he had detested for years would turn out to be a remarkably gentle soul.

 

“I would like that too,” Harry said, still trying to deal with the fact that Severus suddenly looked twenty years younger. It suited him though!

 

“My presence at the Burrow would endanger all of you. I cannot do that to you.” Severus wondered about the invitation as he hadn’t expected it. Did Molly really look disappointed? That had to be his imagination though; why would the Weasleys want to ruin their Christmas by inviting him?

 

“Ah, I see you’ve met!” Albus joined them, having overheard the last sentences. It warmed his heart that Molly wanted to include Severus in the festivities. But he also understood why Severus had declined. Severus needed to take small steps.

 

“Albus, you could have told us! Molly and I would have remained silent!” After all, they were members of the Order!

 

“Arthur, please forgive me, but I felt Severus’ identity was too important to endanger in any way.” Albus knew Arthur and Molly would forgive him eventually.

 

George continued to stare at his teacher and shook his head. Who would have guessed Severus Snape was actually good-looking? Turning his head to look at his twin, he saw the same realization in his eyes.

 

Molly knew that holding a grudge wouldn’t do, but she still stared at Albus in annoyance. “Severus, you can’t stay at Hogwarts all alone!”

 

“I can stay!” Harry announced. He turned to face Ron who looked at him quizzically. “You understand, don’t you?”

 

In an odd way, Ron understood. “If that’s what you want.”

 

“No, that isn’t necessary,” Severus quickly interjected. “Remus… Professor Lupin that is, will also stay. We made arrangements to share meals and keep each other company. Harry, you should go to the Burrow.” He took a step toward the young man and rested shaky hands on Harry’s shoulders. “Don’t stay on my account. I want you to be happy, and I doubt you will be happy here, sitting in an empty castle when you can be with your friends.”

 

“With all due respect, sir, don’t you think I know best where I want to be?” In the past, Harry wouldn’t have dreamt about talking to his teacher in such a way, but he had lost his fear regarding the Potions Master. Instead, he had come to care for him.

 

Harry’s reply took Severus aback and made him speechless. How could Harry prefer his company to that of the Weasleys?

 

“Maybe a comprise can be reached?” Albus said diplomatically. “Why not visit your two professors on Christmas Day, Harry? Would that be acceptable?” Normally he would have backed Harry up, but he wanted Remus and Severus to spend some quality time together, hoping it would deepen the attraction between them.

 

Harry would have preferred to stay during the entire holidays, but he realized he would greatly disappoint the Weasleys if he did. “Christmas Day and New Years!” he said, bargaining.

 

“That’s fine, Harry!” Albus nodded happily and ignored the look Severus gave him.

 

Albus hadn’t even consulted him in the matter and had simply made a decision! A decision Severus didn’t concur with. Harry should stay at the Burrow during Christmas Day and New Years as well!

 

“I will see you in two days then, sir!” Harry suddenly felt the urge to hug his teacher, but wasn’t sure Severus would allow it. In the end, his Gryffindor courage made him wrap his arms around the older wizard and hug him.

 

Severus froze at the close contact. What was Harry doing? What was he thinking? And why did it scare the hell out of him?

 

After indulging himself for a moment, Harry finally released Severus. “Merry Christmas, sir…” From the corner of his eye, he caught Remus’ arrival at the scene. “Take good care of him, yes?”

 

Remus smiled and nodded. “Of Severus? Of course!” He welcomed Harry’s concern and protectiveness where Severus was concerned. Severus needed all the friends he could get. He raised his arm in goodbye and waved at Harry and the Weasleys as they made their way down the corridor. Moving closer to Severus, he whispered into his ear, “The twins were ogling you.”

 

Severus sharply drew in his breath and stared at Remus in shock. “You can’t be serious!”

 

“I am,” Remus said and winked at the other wizard. “I warned you,” he hinted and grinned.

 

“This is madness. Why would they ogle me? You are imagining things,” Severus insisted.

 

“I am not.” Remus raised his hand and ran his fingers through Severus’ long hair. “What happened to the pony tail?”

 

“It was giving me a headache.” Severus couldn’t hide the small tremors that coursed through him. He wasn’t used to being touched in that way and for Remus to do so now… It made his heart ache and yearn for more.

 

Remus wrapped an arm around Severus’ waist, ignoring the startled look that settled on the Potions Master’s features. He simply wanted the other wizard close.

 

“Albus, what is the meaning of this?” Minerva, upon joining them, immediately recognized Severus, as she had known him during his teenage years. “What happened to Severus?”

 

Severus looked to Albus, hoping his mentor would explain everything to the witch, for he was growing tired of having to do so. He felt a bit wary when she approached him and then raised her arm. He flinched, but Remus didn’t allow him to move away.

 

Minerva’s lips twitched at seeing him close his eyes when she raised her arm. Did he really think she was going to hit him? Did he trust her so little? Gently, she rested the palm of her hand against his cheek and rubbed his skin. “You look twenty years younger… You are handsome, Severus.” She noticed the way his eyes widened in disbelief. “Albus, is this your work?” She didn’t take her eyes off of him though. Severus looked ready to bolt.

 

“I cancelled a spell I once cast,” Albus confirmed, knowing Minerva would understand his reasons for doing so – back then and now.

 

“Well, if I were thirty years younger, I might have asked you out on a date,” she joked, but made sure her tone was light and genuine. “My, who knew you were handsome, Severus.”

 

Severus blushed. He couldn’t help it. Minerva’s words were too much.

 

“Oh my, such a delicate blush. Severus Snape, you will have to fight off suitors once the new year starts! You had better prepare to be ogled at during classes and in the hallways.”

 

Minerva’s words brought forth Remus’ protective streak and he pulled Severus closer against him. “I will make sure no one harasses him.”

 

Minerva raised an eyebrow in sudden understanding. “I see,” she said and smirked before looping her arm with Albus’. “Very well, we will see what happens next,” she announced as Albus guided her toward the doorway.

 

James took the tail position. Studying Remus closely, he quickly realized just how deep the other wizard’s feelings for Severus ran. The question however was, did Severus realize it as well?

 

/

 

It was freezing cold! It made Severus realize how long it had been since his last trip outside. He had been cooped up inside for months! A cold breeze swept past his face and suddenly, he was quite happy having long hair since it acted as a barrier. Maybe he should keep it after all. Sudden movement to his right caught his attention, and surprised, he watched Remus loop his arm with his. Remus moved closer, as if searching for warmth, but Severus had the sneaky suspicion that Remus wanted to supply him with body heat instead.

 

Severus felt odd. Albus headed their little group, walking up front and chatting with Fawkes, who had decided to join them. The Phoenix chirped occasionally as if offering a reply. Remus walked to his right, edging closer still and James was to his left, which left Minerva at the end of their little group. She was a member of the Order and perfectly capable of fighting off an attack, if necessary, otherwise he would have worried about her position.

 

“Which shops will you be visiting, Severus? Maybe we can stick together,” Remus said, wanting to offer reassurance, but at the same time he wouldn’t mind finding out about Severus’ gift for him.

 

“Bookshop,” Severus admitted, before catching on. “And the tailor, I guess, seeing that Albus is set on me acquiring new clothes.” Damn, he had given himself away by telling Remus about the bookshop. Now he had to improvise. He shivered as a particularly nasty cold breeze swept through his hair. “I had forgotten how cold it can get.”

 

The fact that Severus wore Harry’s mittens and scarf made Remus smile. He had the feeling Severus would always treasure Harry’s presents. “We will reach Hogsmeade in a few minutes and maybe then we can warm up with a nice cup of tea? Albus?”

 

“Excellent idea, my boy! Madame Rosmerta will be happy to see us!”

 

Severus kept a watchful eye on his surroundings, expecting Death Eaters to appear out of nowhere and attack them.

 

“Relax, you are heavily guarded,” Remus whispered. “With Albus close I doubt even Voldemort himself would come for you.”

 

“That might be,” Severus said reluctantly, “But there is no reason for the lot of you to endanger yourselves. We don’t have to visit Hogsmeade.”

 

“Severus, my dear boy,” Albus said, slowing down so he could fall into place next to Remus. “I do not want you to feel imprisoned at Hogwarts. Giving into those fears would mean letting Voldemort win. And he already won too many battles.”

 

Severus still thought he wasn’t worth the risk, but remained quiet, knowing the rest of them didn’t agree.

 

/

 

After a hot cup of sweet tea, the party started their shopping. Despite Severus’ protests, they decided to split up. Albus and James would accompany Severus, giving both – Remus and Severus - a chance to buy Christmas presents.

 

“Bookshop or tailor, what do you want to do first?” Albus wanted Severus to feel a bit more in control and left the choice up to him.

 

“Tailor,” Severus whispered as he wanted to deal with the worst first. “Seriously Albus, there is no need for me to get new clothes!”

 

“I beg to differ!” Albus winked at the younger wizard. “That coat you are wearing is threadbare and much too thin. It does little to keep you warm! And an elegant jacket would make a nice addiction to your wardrobe, probably in green.”

 

Severus sighed. “Since I want to purchase something for Remus as well, we had better get started.”

 

“Ah, a little something for Remus? Will you tell us what you are getting him?” Albus was curious!

 

“His teaching robes are in a bad way. He could do with a new set,” Severus whispered shyly.

 

“That’s an excellent idea!” Albus applauded the idea. “Come on then!”

 

Severus resigned himself to being dragged off. He had learned not to defy the Headmaster a long time ago.

 

/

 

Severus was rather pleased with his purchase. Since Remus wore brown most of the time, he had gotten him some really nice brown teaching robes. The tailor had offered to spell Remus’ initials onto the hem, and Severus had gladly accepted the offer. Feeling smug, he shrunk the package and slipped it into a pocket.

 

“Well, Severus, I still think that jacket looks great on you! You will agree, once you grow used to wearing it!”

 

Ah, the menace was back! Severus glared at his mentor who had bought one green, one grey, and one dark-blue jacket for him, along with trousers in matching colors. He wasn’t going to wear those clothes though! He gladly stuck to black, thank you!

 

James, who had kept in the back, easily caught the rebellion in Severus’ eyes, but didn’t comment on it. Severus had tried the clothes on just to humor Albus – as Severus did love the older wizard. James hoped the clothes would eventually grow on his patient, for Severus did look good in green and blue!

 

“Bookstore?” Albus offered, ignoring Severus’ defiance for now. He would deal with it later.

 

“Yes.” There was one more thing he wanted to buy – mostly for himself, but maybe he would get an edition for Remus too. He didn’t want to go overboard with the presents – after all, they had agreed on something small. So far, he hadn’t stuck to it though.

 

James opened the door to the bookshop and followed Severus, who, to his surprise, headed for the Muggle department. This was the only store that also sold Muggle literature. James’ curiosity increased when Severus headed for the children’s section. After checking on the titles for a moment, Severus removed one book from the shelves. James noticed the way his patient’s fingers trembled and knew that couldn’t be a good thing. Looking over Severus’ shoulder, he caught the title. “Winnie the Pooh?” He had never heard of it!

 

Severus hadn’t been aware of the fact that James had tagged along and now gave him a startled look.

 

James immediately placed his hand on Severus’ shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. “You can trust me. You know that.” Severus’ reaction wasn’t lost on him and reminded him just how much work Severus had ahead of him if he wanted to make a full recovery. “What’s the story behind that book? Will you tell me?” It couldn’t be good; the way Severus’ expression darkened told him that much.

 

Severus considered the request and had to give in when James started to dose him with soothing energy. The healer really didn’t play fair! He opened the book and searched for a drawing of the main characters. “When I was little, a little girl visited with her parents. She had these books with her. She showed them to me and I took a liking to Tigger. Then my father walked in. He was angry – I am not sure why. Maybe he had been drinking… But he grabbed the book and told me I had no business reading that ‘rubbish’ as he called it. He beat me – repeatedly.”

 

James kept up the smoothing energy stream and didn’t tell Severus that Albus had appeared behind him, overhearing their conversation. “Your father had no right to hit you.”

 

“I know that – now,” Severus said, using his long hair to hide his face behind. “The day after I had healed Remus, he bounced into the room; he had too much surplus energy… And he reminded me of Tigger – of how much I loved that little character.”

 

Albus’ eyes carried a suspiciously moist expression and he fought back his tears. He should have realized what was happening in Severus’ home when the boy had come to Hogwarts. But he had been too busy enjoying the Marauders’ pranks! He would never forgive himself for forsaking Severus when he had needed him so badly.

 

“Remus asked me why I overreacted that day and I couldn’t tell him.” Severus said, lost in memory. “I didn’t want him to know about the abuse. I still don’t and I pray he will never find out.”

 

“Why?” James needed to know the reason.

 

“I don’t want him to pity me. Neither do I want him to turn me away in disgust… I know what I am.” Severus clutched the book to his chest, reliving painful memories that had never stopped haunting him.

 

“We’ll buy the book,” James said firmly. “Do you want to get one for Remus too?”

 

“I am not sure,” Severus replied slowly. “I might tell him the truth when he asks me why I got him something that silly.”

 

James removed another copy from the self-replenishing selves. “You can hold on to it until you feel ready to give it to him.”

 

Severus nodded and turned around, only to look in Albus’ glistening eyes. “Albus.”

 

“Oh, my child…” Albus carefully wrapped Severus up in an embrace. “If only I had been paying attention back then… Go on, pay for them and then we will head home.” He released Severus, who had trembled in his arms.

 

Grateful for the way out, Severus took it and headed for the salesman.

 

Albus however stuck around and carefully looked through the children’s section. When he found stuffed animals, portraying Piglet and Tigger, his heart started to ache all over again. He collected the Muggle toys and decided Severus was getting two extra Christmas presents this year.

 

/

 

One look at Severus told Remus just how upset the Potions Master was. Acting at once, he walked over to him and wrapped an arm around him. “Do you want to go home?” Suddenly he wanted to know Severus safe within Hogwarts’ walls.

 

“Yes,” Severus whispered and leaned in closer, seeking Remus’ body warmth and reassurance.

 

Remus didn’t know what had happened, but hoped Severus would confide in him once they were home. Rubbing the small of Severus’ back through the fabric of his coat, Remus made sure he had a tight hold on him. Severus looked fragile and he felt hugely protective of him. He barely noticed James, Albus and Minerva grouping themselves around them. He was completely focused on the Potions Master. And so they made their way back in silence, Remus hoping Severus trusted him enough to tell him what was wrong.

 

/

 

Severus settled down on his favorite sofa and occupied himself by staring at the fire. The fireplace created a warm and comfy feeling that helped him let down his guard.

 

Albus didn’t like the expression on Severus’ face and sat down next to him. “A penny for your thoughts,” he said, only half in jest.

 

Severus sighed, but then turned his head to look at his mentor. “Everything has changed, Albus. Nothing is the same.”

 

“And that is a bad thing?”

 

Severus considered the question thoroughly before answering it. “In some ways, yes… But not everything changed for the worse.”

 

Albus decided to focus on the good. “Tell me, what has improved then?”

 

“I am no longer alone,” Severus whispered, so softly that it was barely audible.

 

Albus wasn’t surprised to hear that. Severus didn’t do well in solitude, but the Potions Master had been forced into it anyway. “Am I right to assume that you liked Remus’ company today?” Only a blind man wouldn’t have noticed the way the two had sought out each other’s company.

 

“He shouldn’t do that – stick close,” Severus explained. “He can do much better. He shouldn’t spend that much time with me.”

 

Albus slowly rested his hand on Severus’ left arm. “We had a similar conversation only this morning. Severus, Remus wants to spend time with you because he likes you!” Albus was eager to get the two of them together before he left to join Lila. “I am leaving tomorrow and I don’t want you to lock yourself up in here. Promise me that you won’t turn Remus away.”

 

Severus averted his gaze and returned to stare at the fire. “I should turn him away, but I won’t. Not if it means that much to you.”

 

Although Severus was giving in due to the wrong reason, Albus didn’t care. He was confident Remus would find a way through the defenses Severus had erected around his heart. “There is something else we need to discuss.” As expected, Severus tensed up. “You are always welcome in my rooms, Severus. This is your home, but I would like for you to consider getting personal rooms as well.” He wasn’t surprised when Severus threw him an upset look.

 

“You want me back in the dungeons?” He didn’t want to leave! He felt safe here!

 

“Not the dungeons, child. They are cold and dark and not what you need. I asked the house elves to prepare the rooms next to Remus’. At your request they will move your belongings there. They won’t touch your lab equipment or any items you warded. They will also create an additional workspace up in the tower. Until then you can use your lab in the dungeons.”

 

Albus had already thought everything through! Severus didn’t know what to think of that. “I don’t belong up in the tower.”

 

“Your place was in the dungeons while you were posing as a Death Eater. Since that is no longer the case, you should move on.” Albus was determined to stick to his plan. Severus wouldn’t be able to sway him. He was determined to do what was best for Severus, and that was moving him into bright and airy rooms.

 

“When will you throw me out?” Severus felt miserable.

 

“Never!” Albus shook his head. He understood why Severus felt like that, but couldn’t condone it. “I am not throwing you out! You can stay here as long as you want! Forever, if that’s what you want. But once Remus and you get intimate….” He didn’t finish his sentence, and watched, with amusement, the shocked expression on his child’s face.

 

“Albus!” Severus couldn’t stop a fierce blush from forming on his face. “That’s never going to happen!” How could Albus possibly think Remus would want him as a lover? The DADA professor might be infatuated with him, but that was all there was to it. Nothing of that kind was ever going to happen! “Get your mind out of the gutter, Albus.”

 

“Allow an old man to indulge in his fantasies,” Albus said teasingly.

 

“They are exactly that – fantasies!” Severus felt grumpy for Albus assuming such a thing.

 

Albus wondered about the fierce reaction on Severus’ part and hoped he had reached the wrong conclusion. “Severus, you have had lovers before, didn’t you?” The fact that Severus paled and avoided his gaze, told Albus all he needed to know. “I am so sorry,” he offered, not out of pity, but because fate had mistreated him in such a way. “You don’t deserve that. Severus, it’s one more reason why you should give Remus a chance!”

 

“There’s this proverb,” Severus mused. “It’s better to have loved and lost. I don’t agree with it. It is better not to have loved at all…”

 

“You don’t mean that,” Albus knew with certainty. “You are merely trying to protect yourself. Severus, you do deserve to be loved. Please, give this a chance.” Albus wrapped his arm around his child. “You can always sever the ties if it turns out to be a mistake, but I honestly don’t think that will be the case.”

 

“That’s easy for you to say.”

 

“No, Severus. It is not. For the last thing I want is for you to be hurt again.”

 

Severus rested his head against Albus’ shoulder. “If I do this – if I allow Remus to deepen this relationship… then I will be doomed if he reconsiders.”

 

Albus smiled. “He won’t do that.” Remus would be loyal if Severus gave them a chance. “Invite him over for dinner tomorrow evening. I don’t want you to be alone.”

 

Severus sighed. “You are not going to stop nagging, are you?”

 

“No, I am not, because I have your best interest in mind, child.”

 

Severus lifted his head and uncovered his wand. He had better do this now so Albus would give him some peace. He conjured his patronus and sent it off to find Remus and to deliver the dinner invitation.

 

“Well done!” Albus beamed happily. “And will you have a look at your new quarters during the holidays? I am not asking you to move in right away, but see if they are to your liking.”

 

Severus nodded; he would do so because Albus wanted him to.

 

/

 

The little trip to Hogsmeade had tired Severus more than he wanted to admit, and in the end, he had to go to bed early. He headed for the bathroom and stared at the stranger in the mirror. He had trouble reconciling his reflection with his appearance. The hair continued to be a nuisance. He opted for braiding it loosely and slipped a hair tie around the ends. He really had to come up with a solution. Severus was about to step into bed when a wolf patronus made its way into the room.

 

“Severus, I would love to have dinner with you. I will join you around six o’clock. I hope that’s not too early? I will hopefully see you at breakfast tomorrow… And sweet dreams!”

 

Severus rolled his eyes at the last addition. Trust Remus to add something like that!

 

“Severus, did he accept?”

 

Severus rolled his eyes back again. Albus probably already knew the answer to his question. “Yes, he did. Are you satisfied now?”

 

“Perfect, Severus, that’s just perfect. Do get some sleep, my dear boy. I still need to finish some letters!”

 

Severus slipped between the covers and hugged a spare pillow. He had never fantasized about a lover before. By Merlin, he had never thought about having sex before. The situation had simply never presented itself. And now, if Albus and James were right – and he didn’t doubt their judgment – Remus was in love with him. What was he to do about that? He had promised Albus to give their relationship a chance, but he was terrified that Remus would reconsider and reject him. And then what?

 

I will continue as before – I will survive. I have been alone my entire life – I can live out the rest of my life like that. It won’t kill me.

 

But Remus had the power to break his heart – and that scared him.

 

/

 

Severus woke to Jeffrey’s and Albus’ voices coming from the office. A quick look at the window told him it was morning already. It was rare for him to sleep undisturbed through the night, but apparently, he had done so. He stretched cautiously and smiled at the realization that nothing hurt. Physically he was as good as healed, but his emotional health was a different matter altogether.

 

Severus didn’t feel like eavesdropping. He didn’t want to know whether they were discussing him or not. He didn’t want to know their opinion regarding his mental welfare. He could do without that. So he opted to go to the bathroom instead and to indulge in a bath. After filling up the tub and undressing, he slid into the scented water and did his utmost to relax. Unbidden, images of Remus appeared in his mind’s eye. He still found it hard to believe that Remus cared that much about him, but the evidence certainly pointed in that direction. Maybe he would find a way to bring it up during dinner and steer Remus away from him. Contrary to Albus, who believed the two of them would work out, Severus was convinced things could only end badly.

 

“Severus, can I come inside?” Jeffrey thought it wise to announce his intentions, instead of just barging in on what was a private moment.

 

Severus sighed, regretting the peaceful moment had come to an end. “Yes, you can.” It was best to get it over with now. Whatever Jeffrey wanted, the healer wouldn’t leave until he had attended to it.

 

Jeffrey opened the door and stared at Severus in wonder. His father had told him about the concealment spell Albus had lifted, but he’d had a hard time believing Severus’ appearance could be altered in such a way. Now that he actually saw Severus, he realized just how much the spell had changed his appearance. “Wow,” he said in surprise. “Dad warned me about the concealment spell, but…” He shook his head again. “That’s quite a change.” He couldn’t help but wonder how Severus was dealing with it. He sat down on the toilet lid and studied his patient. “You look so much younger!” But then again, Severus was only thirty-five. He had never fully registered that fact before. “The longer hair looks good on you.” Strands had escaped the improvised braid and now hung heavily down Severus’ chest.

 

Severus didn’t agree. “So far it’s mostly annoying.”

 

“Give it a chance,” Jeffrey said and winked, still getting used to Severus’ appearance. “This can’t be easy on you.”

 

“It’s difficult,” Severus admitted after a moment’s thought. “Each time I look into a mirror, a stranger stares back at me. I pleaded with Albus to leave the spell intact, but he refused to listen.”

 

“I agree with Albus, Severus. I am sorry, but I do think that ending the spell was the only correct thing to do.” Leaning in closer, he whispered, “You need to heal, physically, emotionally and spiritually. How can you possibly do that while living a lie?”

 

“I lived a lie for the last fifteen years, Jeffrey.” Realizing it made him ache inside, something he hadn’t expected to happen. Staring at the water’s surface, he drew in a deep breath. “Everything is happening so fast, Jeffrey. Now Albus wants me to make myself at home in the tower. He wants to move my rooms up there – into to the corridor Remus’ rooms are in. He has the House Elves even creating a new potions lab for me.”

 

“Again, I agree with Albus. The dungeons are cold and dark. You need to be someplace warm and sunny.”

 

“I hate it when you team up against me,” Severus whispered. “Why can’t this be about what I want?”

 

“Oh, Severus,” Jeffrey said and rested his hand on the black hair, gently massaging the scalp. “Sometimes we need to push you in the right direction. Albus is right – this is your home and you are always welcome here. You know how much Albus loves you. He will never turn you away. But at the same time, you need a place of your own. You are an adult… You need your own space.”

 

Deep down in his heart Severus knew Jeffrey was right; that didn’t mean he was going to admit it though. “So what brings you here today? Still worried about me?” he said, quickly changing the subject.

 

“Yes, I worry about you, but you ARE getting better, Severus. Little by little. I am merely here to check on you. Albus is leaving for the States in an hour and that means you will be alone for the next few days. I would like to check in with you on a daily basis. Just to make sure you are fine.”

 

“It’s not like I can stop you,” Severus said and sighed. The water was growing cold and he needed to get out of the tub. Although Jeffrey had seen him naked, he didn’t feel like making himself vulnerable again. “Can I have some privacy?” he asked, rather timidly.

 

“Of course.” Jeffrey had realized the same thing that moment. “Will you join me for breakfast?” Surprised, he noticed Severus averting his gaze.

 

“I promised Remus to have breakfast with him in the Great Hall.” Severus avoided looking at Jeffrey, recalling their last conversation.

 

“In that case, I gladly leave Remus to entertain you!” Jeffrey felt pleased. Apparently Severus was really giving Remus a chance. “I will look in on you tomorrow, Severus. Have a good time!”

 

And with that, Jeffrey left. Severus wasn’t sure what to think of it. Why was everyone so damned sure that Remus and he would work out?

 

/

 

“Severus, promise to contact me should something trouble you. Send your patronus. If need be, I will apparate immediately.” Albus had mixed feelings about leaving Severus behind. Knowing that Remus, Jeffrey, and James would keep an eye on his child only partly assured him. He would have preferred to do so himself, but he also realized that Severus needed a chance to rebuild his personal life.

 

Severus’ throat tightened with emotions when Albus hugged him goodbye, and in a rare show of his affection for the Headmaster, he hugged him back. “I promise,” he whispered eventually. He didn’t really want Albus to leave, but at the same time, he didn’t want to deprive his mentor of Lila’s company either. “Have a good time in the States and do not worry about me.”

 

“You are never far from my thoughts.” Albus relished the tight hug and kissed Severus’ brow. “Try to enjoy Remus’ company and don’t hex Jeffrey and James should they become overprotective. They greatly care about you – that’s why they worry.”

 

Severus knew it was the truth. James had even bonded them in order to ensure his survival. “I will do my best.”

 

“And do enjoy Christmas, Severus. You deserve some time away from it all.” He sincerely hoped Voldemort wouldn’t summon Severus during his absence, but he consoled himself with the fact that he had taught the cancellation spell to both healers and Remus. Severus wouldn’t have to suffer longer than strictly necessary. “I love you, Severus. Never doubt that I care, child.”

 

Severus grew slightly flustered. He still had to get used to Albus telling him that. “I love you too,” he replied a moment later. He would never have believed Albus’ claim, hadn’t he been fortunate enough to actually feel that love through the bond James had created.

 

Albus released Severus from the embrace. “Be well, Severus.” He smiled at his child one more time and then disapparated.

 

Seeing Albus leave like that brought home that he really was on his own now. Although, that wasn’t true exactly, was it? Albus had made sure he could call on reinforcements. Severus was determined not to disappoint his mentor. He would get through this without whining or having to ask Albus for help.

 

/

 

Severus finally made his way into the Great Hall to have breakfast. He hoped he wasn’t late, but so far Remus hadn’t come running to check on his whereabouts. On his way to the Great Hall, he ran into Neville. He was surprised that the boy was still at Hogwarts. “Mister Longbottom,” he said when Neville continued to stare at him in wonder. Why was that boy giving him such an odd look? Ah, yes, Albus had cancelled that concealment spell.

 

“Professor Snape?” Neville blinked in disbelief. The wizard standing in front of him looked like the professor in some ways, but not everything made sense. Did Snape have a younger brother?

 

“Aye, it is I, Mister Longbottom. It’s a long story…” Severus wondered if he had to explain everything to the boy.

 

“Harry owled me and told me he had met you, but I didn’t really know what to expect – not exactly.” Neville smiled warmly, recalling the moments during which Severus had accepted the help and comfort he had offered when Sirius had harassed him. “The new look suits you, if I may say so.”

 

Severus inclined his head in order to show he appreciated the compliment. “Thank you, Mister Longbottom. And now, tell me, why are you still at school?”

 

“My grandmother is picking me up. I am heading for the gate,” Neville explained.

 

Severus looked closer and noticed the boy was dressed to go outside. “I do wish you a Merry Christmas, Neville, and thank you for… for what you did back then.” Severus was completely unprepared for the way Neville’s smile brightened. The boy practically glowed with content!

 

“Thank you for letting me. I must admit I have come to like you. There was a time when I thought that was impossible.” Neville extended his hand in goodbye, wondering if the professor would accept it.

 

Severus gently wrapped his thin fingers around the boy’s warm hand. “Enjoy your holidays, Neville.”

 

“You too, sir,” Neville commented as Severus released his hand again. “I will see you in two weeks!” He headed for the doorway, but before he stepped out, he waved at his teacher.

 

What was the world coming to? Severus shook his head in wonder. Who would have thought that Neville Longbottom of all people, would actually take a liking to him?

 

“Ah, there you are,” Remus said, wondering why Severus just stood there. “Is something amiss?”

 

“No, everything is fine.” Severus blinked. “I merely ran into Neville, and for one moment, I thought he was going to hug me. He settled for a handshake instead. He also told me he liked me.” He chuckled. “Can you believe it?”

 

Remus nodded. “I do… It’s not that hard to understand. You helped him with Potions and while doing so, Neville realized there was a side to you he didn’t know.” He had heard the tale of Neville putting Severus to sleep with a spell Pomona had taught him. Albus had even encouraged him to do so! Remus carefully wrapped an arm around Severus’ shoulder; carefully as he didn’t want to startle the other wizard. “You need to eat something. Come, break your fast. I will have another cup of coffee. I have the feeling I might need it.”

 

Surprised, Severus suddenly noticed Remus’ arm tightly wrapping itself around him. The next thing he knew was Remus pulling him toward the Great Hall. Without intending to do so, he leaned in closer—it happened automatically.

 

Remus smiled at feeling Severus move closer. It told him the other wizard trusted him, and for now, that was enough. It was a start. “By the way, blue suits you.” The fact that Severus hadn’t dressed in black for once warmed his heart. He knew changing was hard on the other wizard and applauded him for trying. He would help anyway he could.

 

“Do you really think so? I am not quite sure.” Severus had dressed in the dark blue trousers and frock Albus had supplied him with, donning his familiar high-necked shirt beneath it. He felt oddly vulnerable in these clothes.

 

“You look fine, Severus, you really do.” If only he could spell some self-confidence into the Potions Master!

 

They stepped into the Great Hall and Severus was relieved to see that Minerva and Filius were the only two still present. He could handle their presence. He felt Minerva’s gaze on him as soon as he made his way over to the head table. Breakfast was still waiting for him and he resigned himself to eating.

 

“You look dashing,” Minerva said, having easily identified the uneasy look on her friend’s face. “You should wear that color more often.” She sought out Filius’ gaze. She had had an in-depth conversation with her colleague the night before and hoped she had made him fully understand what Severus had been going through.

 

Filius studied Severus, without saying anything yet. He hadn’t seen the younger wizard with his original looks restored and needed a moment to accept the change that had come over his fellow Head of House. Severus now reminded him of the student he had once taught; and that in turn, also reminded him of the fact that he had often turned a blind eye to the bullying that had been going on. He hadn’t tried to protect young Severus, nor had he lectured the Marauders. He blamed himself for that. He should have done something. “Severus, it is good to see you doing better,” he offered, hoping Severus would see the peace offering for what it was.

 

Severus tried to keep an open mind, as Albus had asked him to do. “Thank you, Filius.” He kept his gaze trained on his plate though, and every so often forced down a bite. Suddenly, an owl flew into the Great Hall and dropped a parcel next to his plate.

 

“You have got mail,” Remus said and grinned. “I wonder who it is from.” Since it was wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper he assumed it to be a present. But who from? Not from him. He was going to give Severus his present on Christmas Eve. He liked it best that way. “Aren’t you going to open it?”

 

Severus looked at the parcel in suspicion. The first thing he did was cast a series of spells on it in order to find it if it was hexed. Next to him, Minerva sighed and he cast her a quick look.

 

“Severus, why don’t you look at the card?” Minerva suggested.

 

There was a small card attached to the parcel and Severus used his wand in order to move it about. Once he was able to read it, he blushed. “Sorry, Minerva. Maybe I am paranoid.”

 

“No, you are not,” the witch said and gently squeezed his shoulder. “Open it. I hope you will like it. I bought it when we went to Hogsmeade.” It had taken her a long time to come up with a gift, which she felt would be appropriate. In the end, she had settled for several small gifts.

 

Severus manually removed the wrapping paper and opened the cardboard box. “You didn’t have to do this,” he whispered, looking at the three smaller gift wrapped boxes.

 

“But I wanted to.” Minerva chuckled. “Go on, don’t keep us waiting!”

 

Severus reverently removed the first box and opened it. Inside was a beautifully made hairclip. He couldn’t help but wonder what Minerva had been thinking, getting him a hairclip in the form of a butterfly. “Thank you, this shall come in handy.” If he kept his hair that long, that was.

 

“I liked its butterfly shape… For some reason it reminded me of you.” Severus WAS going through a large number of changes and rather quickly at that.

 

Severus placed the pin aside for now and opened the second box. It held a number of children’s books, Alice in Wonderland on top of them. Severus smiled and shook his head. He had never had a chance to read children’s book and Minerva reading the Wind in the Willows to him had been a beautiful experience. “Thank you again.”

 

Minerva merely nodded and watched him reach for the last box, which was rather small.

 

Once more Severus removed the gift wrap as cautiously as possible, as he didn’t want to damage anything in the process. Inside he found a small jewelry box. He frowned at Minerva.

 

“Open it.”

 

Severus drew in a deep breath and removed the lid. Inside was a ring made of gold. It held a transparent stone which seemed alight with sunlight.

 

“It’s golden Labradorite. It is said to have protective powers. I thought you could use a little extra protection.” Her hand traveled down until it encountered one of his and rubbed the back. “It’s spelled to fit.”

 

Severus swallowed hard, realizing she was telling him, in her very own way, how much she wanted to know him safe. Unwilling to disappoint her, he slipped the ring onto his finger and it shrunk until it fit him. To his horror, he realized his eyes were growing moist – he was about to shed tears. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice weak and shaky. “Thank you, Minerva.”

 

She squeezed his hand and then gave him time to sort himself out by busying herself with pouring tea and chatting to Filius. She was relieved that he seemed to have come around and was giving Severus a chance.

 

Remus had watched Severus closely and realized the last gift had also had the greatest impact. He took hold of Severus’ hand and intertwined their fingers. Severus raised his head and looked at him in surprise. Remus knew what was going on in that head of his. Severus had a hard time believing Remus wanted to show his affection for him in public. Even if that public merely consisted out of Minerva and Filius.

 

From the corner of his eyes, Severus peeked at his colleagues. Filius looked stunned – but not shocked or appalled, which was encouraging. Minerva had a radiant grin on her face. She looked like she was about to purr with contentment. What did that tell him? That his colleagues approved of the deepening friendship between them? He hadn’t dared hope they would accept it!

 

“I am glad the two of you will keep each other company during the holidays,” Minerva remarked. “I would have cancelled my trip had you been all alone at Hogwarts, Severus.” The look the Potions Master gave her made her heart ache. “You shouldn’t be alone,” she added.

 

“I will take good care of him,” Remus promised her. “Don’t you worry and enjoy your trip instead.”

 

“I count on you to keep him safe,” Minerva said, addressing Remus.

 

Severus didn’t know what to make of their conversation. He wasn’t used to their protective nature – not to such an extent. Remus rubbing the back of his hand distracted him and he stared at their joined hands instead. Did he really have a chance with the other wizard? Did Remus really care about him? And if Remus did, was Severus willing to risk his heart? I am, he realized, I want to be loved and to have someone to love.

 

/

 

Remus allowed Severus to take the lead as they left the Great Hall. He was rather curious to where they were going.

 

Severus wasn’t sure why he was doing this, but felt it was the right thing to do. With one hand still resting in Remus’ grasp, he guided the other wizard through the always-changing corridors. “Albus assigned me new rooms.”

 

“Ah, I did wonder what was going on.”

 

“The rooms are next to yours.”

 

Remus grinned. “I would like to have you as my neighbor. It does get lonely up there.”

 

Severus chuckled and peeked at the other man. Remus genuinely seemed to like the idea. “Albus insists that the dungeons are too cold and dark.”

 

“He is right, you know.” Remus gently squeezed Severus’ hand. “Those new rooms are airy and sunny, even in winter. You will like it up there.”

 

“You wouldn’t mind me living that close to you?”

 

“Why would I?” Remus’ eyes widened, but then he grinned. “I wouldn’t have to come looking for you all the time. With you being that close…” Remus pulled Severus’ hand closer to his chest. “I would love it.”

 

Severus blushed – again. It was ridiculous how often he was growing flustered lately!

 

/

 

“Albus is a genius,” Remus offered. “He was right to suggest these rooms to you!” Remus could tell Severus wasn’t convinced yet. The Potions Master seemed uneasy and out of place. “Give it a try, Severus. You might like it here.” He wondered what was keeping Severus back. “Or do you like living in the dungeons that much?”

 

Severus walked toward the glass stained window, which caused the room to bathe in warm reds as the sunbeams made their way into the quarters. Maybe he should lie? He wasn’t sure Remus would understand why he was hesitant. But in the end, for some odd reason, he spoke the truth. “I don’t feel like I am worthy of these rooms. The dungeons suit me better.” He startled briefly as Remus wrapped his arms around him from behind. That was the closest contact they had been in so far and it was hard on Severus to allow Remus into his personal space.

 

Remus felt Severus tense, but ignored it. Instead, he rested his chin on the other wizard’s shoulder and whispered into his ear, “You do deserve to live here, Severus. This is where you belong – not in the cold and dark underground.”

 

If only he could believe it, but he knew what he was – what he had done. Why he didn’t deserve this.

 

“Severus, you need to let go of the past.”

 

“How can I?” Severus almost panicked at realizing Remus had caught on. “I am responsible for their deaths. I am the reason Voldemort singled out the Potters. I am the reason they are dead. I am the reason Harry never knew his parents.”

 

“You are also the reason I am still alive. You are the reason Harry is still alive. You are the reason why we stand a chance against Voldemort. Severus. You provide me with Wolfsbane each month. You ease my transformation and make it bearable. You are capable of so much good. Give yourself credit where credit is due.”

 

“I can never undo what happened back then, Remus. That burden is mine. The guilt will never leave me.” He had to make Remus understand!

 

“You made amends a long time ago.” Remus turned Severus in the embrace until they were face to face. “James was my best friend and I can honestly say that he would have long forgiven you. You saved his best friend –me- and his son when we were being cursed. You didn’t know James the way I did. Severus, believe me, if you hadn’t told Voldemort about the prophecy, someone else would have. It would not have stayed a secret for long.”

 

“You are wrong.”

 

“No, I am not.” Remus ran his fingers through the black strands and moved them away from the face. “You know that I am not in the habit to lie. Why would I start now? I only offer you the truth.” He closed his eyes and savored Severus’ closeness. The scent he inhaled was one of herbal soap and he sighed happily.

 

Severus wasn’t sure what to make of Remus’ reaction. He enjoyed being held close – well, partly that was. Another part of him wanted to run away. Remus was right; the DADA professor wasn’t one to lie. Remus had always been honest with him, so why would he tell him lies now?

 

“I hope you will move in here. If you need help, I will gladly assist you.”

 

“The house elves will move everything – except for certain personal belongings and potion ingredients.” Severus’ eyes suddenly widened, realizing he had practically told Remus he was moving in.

 

“That’s just great.” Remus ran his fingers through the strands once more. He was quickly attaining a hair fetish! “What will you be doing the rest of the day?” They had a dinner date, but what was he to do until then?

 

Severus wasn’t sure why Remus wanted to know. “I made no plans.” Severus looked about. It was pretty clear that he would move in here eventually, even if he decided to fight Albus over it. He knew that he would never win such a fight. “Maybe contact the house elves and tell them that I will be living here. Maybe fetch some personal belongings from the dungeons.” Perhaps making a fresh start would help him emotionally recover from everything he had been through. He also liked the idea of having Remus that close.

 

“I can help, if you want me to,” Remus said, hoping he wasn’t coming on too strong.

 

Severus sighed and accepted his fate. The rest of the day would be spend moving his belongings then.

 

/

 

Remus helped Severus assemble his personal belongings, shrunk them, and then watched the Potions Master sort out the more volatile potions ingredients, which he would handle himself. He was slowly getting used to seeing a younger Severus with longer hair and youthful facial features. He had never suspected what was going on!

 

Severus was vividly aware of Remus’ gaze upon him. It made him feel uncomfortable, and although he didn’t want to question Remus, he realized he must. “What is wrong?”

 

“Nothing is wrong.” Remus sighed. There was no way out of it. He had to address it. “Severus?” He walked up the other wizard and noticed the way Severus tensed up. “Can we talk? There is something I need to tell you.” He had envisioned doing this under different circumstances, but he couldn’t hide it any longer.

 

Severus, instantly on guard, nodded, and allowed Remus to lead him to the windowsill. As the house elves had already moved his furniture upstairs, it was the only place they could still sit down. Severus watched Remus closely and realized the serious expression in those brown eyes. This was not good; he wasn’t going to like it one bit. How bad could it get?

 

“I am sorry, Severus. It wasn’t my intention to worry you.” Remus picked up on Severus’ apprehension, and in an attempt to do away with it, he twined his fingers with Severus’. “It isn’t anything bad, at least I hope you don’t think it is.”

 

“You can tell me, whatever it is. I can deal with it.” Severus hoped he had enough strength to endure whatever Remus had in store for him. The worst thing that could happen was losing the other wizard’s friendship – Severus hoped he had done nothing to turn Remus away from him. If he had, maybe he could make amends?

 

“Severus,” Remus’ facial features briefly contorted upon seeing the anguish building on Severus’ face. Damn, he was making it worse! “You did nothing wrong! It’s something else.” He couldn’t chicken out now. He had to be honest. Pulling Severus’ hand against his chest, he drew in a deep breath. Growing calm again, he smiled warmly. “The thing is, I like you, Severus. I like to spend time with you. I like to talk to you—hold your hand like this.”

 

Severus’ eyes widened and he forgot to breathe. What was Remus telling him?

 

“I was raised in a rather old-fashioned way.” Remus smiled in a melancholy way. “I had a few one-night-stands, but they can be counted on one hand. I never had a long-lasting relationship, because no one wants to be involved with a werewolf, which makes sense.”

 

Severus blinked. Where was Remus going with this?

 

“I…” Remus swallowed hard, forced himself to look Severus in the eye and then continued in a shaky voice. “Severus, I care about you – greatly. I want to get to know you better. Severus, what I am trying to say, in a rather roundabout way, is that I want your permission to officially court you. I am attracted to you, and before this goes any further, I need to make my intentions known – which are honorable, I assure you.” Now it was Remus holding his breath in anticipation of Severus’ answer. The fact that Severus was allowing him to continue to hold his hand gave him hope that maybe he had a chance with the Potions Master.

 

Severus thought he must have misheard. “Did you really say… that you want to… court me?” How absurd was that?

 

“Yes, I did. I want to try, Severus. I always liked you – even when we were still students… But I couldn’t express myself back then… Ever since returning to Hogwarts and working alongside you that attraction deepened. When you healed me, I realized I couldn’t deny it any longer. It brought home how little time we have. We can die, Severus. Voldemort is a constant threat and I don’t want to die without having tried… Or at least told you the truth.” He wondered why Severus looked like he was about to panic. “I was rather obvious recently. Didn’t you notice?”

 

“I…” Severus lowered his gaze, feeling overwhelmed. “I might have noticed – something… But I wasn’t certain how to interpret your actions.”

 

Remus’ feelings of hope increased. “I like holding your hand like this.”

 

“I noticed…” Severus felt awkward. “I am flattered, Remus, I really am, but…”

 

“But what?” Remus frowned. Had he really misunderstood the signals Severus has been sending?

 

“You can do so much better,” Severus whispered and flinched. “You know what I am… You should abandon this idea.”

 

Remus couldn’t help it – he sighed out of relief. Severus wasn’t rejecting him. The feelings of low self-worth Severus emitted weren’t unexpected. He knew they existed. “I beg to differ, Severus. I hold you in the highest esteem.” Severus snorted and Remus shook his head. He raised Severus’ head and waited for the other man to grow comfortable enough to look at him. “You are the bravest man I know, Severus.” Seeing the disbelief in those brown eyes, he added, “You spied on Voldemort, Severus. You helped save countless lives. You saved Harry and myself. Severus, you are brave and worthy of love. I merely pray you will accept mine.”

 

Severus wanted to look away, but Remus kept him in place. “Remus, you can do so much better.”

 

“Severus, I want YOU. No one else. I want you, Severus Snape – just you. The way you are. Yes, with your flaws. I have them too. Severus, I really believe we would work out, if only you gave this a chance.” Trying to stress his words, he gently squeezed Severus’ hand and then raised it to his lips in order to press a kiss onto its back. “Please?”

 

“I shouldn’t do this,” Severus whispered, feeling on edge. “I really shouldn’t.”

 

At that moment, Remus knew he had won. Severus would give him his chance. “But you shall, because I am asking you to.”

 

Severus closed his eyes, since turning away his head wasn’t an option. “I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.” Remus was going to regret this; he was sure of it.

 

“I believe I do,” Remus said reassuringly and moved closer to a nervous-looking Severus. “Do I have your permission?”

 

Severus couldn’t help it, he chuckled. “Why so official?”

 

“This is important to me, Severus. I never did this before. I never cared so much about another person as to officially court them. I want to do this accordingly to the rules.”

 

Severus wasn’t sure he was going to like this. “What do you mean?” The family on his mother’s side, the Princes, were old blood, but ‘thanks’ to his father, Tobias Snape, he had been raised the Muggle way. His mother had never mentioned wizarding courtship rules.

 

“I will not hide our relationship. I will stand by you – publicly as well as privately.”

 

Severus flinched. “You want the entire school population to pity you for hooking up with the bat of the dungeons? You know what the reaction will be like. Albus will understand, maybe even Minerva as well, but the rest…”

 

“I don’t care about the rest,” Remus said firmly. He believed that the public opinion would change – and rather quickly at that. Now that Severus no longer had to act the part of being a Death Eater, the Potions Master’s true nature would come through quickly enough. Neville and Hermione already knew the truth – and Severus had healed Harry as well. Eventually the word would get out that Severus Snape –the so called bat of the dungeons – wasn’t the person they had thought him to be.

 

“But you should,” Severus objected.

 

“Severus Snape.” Remus straightened his back. “I hereby ask your permission to court you. Know that I will support you. I will not hide my feelings from you – or others. I will respect you, love you, and take care of you in hours of need. Do you accept?”

 

Severus blushed. By Merlin, there was no way he could stop blushing. He had never believed this day would come – that someone would love him the way he was, knowing about his mistakes, flaws and past. “Remus,” he tried, one last time, but the look the other wizard gave him, made him realize that only a clear and determined no would make him back off. And honestly? Severus wanted this – wanted just one chance at love. He wanted to know what it was like to be kissed and to kiss. To hold and be held in turn. Just once – just one shot at love. It was more than he deserved. It was more than he had ever envisioned happening to him. “Yes,” he said in a shaky voice. “I accept.”

 

Remus smiled happily. “Thank you, Severus.” He leaned in closer, wanting to kiss the other man, but upon seeing the stricken expression, he realized it was too early. Severus needed time to accept this. So, instead of kissing Severus, Remus wrapped him up in a tight embrace. He placed a kiss on top of the dark head and held him close. “I promise to look after you, Severus. I promise to love you.”

 

Severus closed his eyes. His heart thundered loudly in his chest and he was afraid to believe Remus. Could it be? Could it really be happening to him? Had love really found him?

 

/

 

Remus reckoned it was time to make an appearance for dinner, which would take place in Albus’ rooms. He was fine with the location, knowing only too well that Severus would feel safe on familiar territory. He checked if he had his gift with him and regretted being unable to get Severus something special. But money was tight – Muggle money and wizarding currency alike. He hoped Severus wouldn’t be disappointed, but he had the feeling the Potions Master would cherish whatever he got as a gift. As he made his way up to Albus’ rooms, he wondered what kind of state he would find Severus in.

 

/

 

Back at the Burrow, Harry suffered from what could only be called a bad conscience. He had no real reason to feel like that, but he couldn’t change the way he felt.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ron sat down next to his friend and gave him a worried look. Ever since they had arrived home, Harry had been distracted.

 

“I wonder if Professor Snape is all right. Do you think Remus is keeping an eye on him as promised?”

 

Ron was surprised. He hadn’t expected Harry to worry about the Potions Master. “I never realized you care that much about him.”

 

“Ron, he almost died when he de-hexed me. How can I not care?” Harry however realized he was privy to more personal information than Ron was. “You don’t know him the way I do. Ron, he isn’t a bully. He merely acted that way to convince his Slytherins that he was a devoted Death Eater. Now that Voldemort knows the Professor is a traitor, he can be himself. When we return after the holidays, you will find a different Professor Snape in the classroom.”

 

Ron was trying hard to accept that. “I know you’re being honest, mate. It’s just hard to wrap my mind around the fact that Snape is supposedly a good guy.” Harry nodded and Ron knew he had been understood. “You can always send him a message.”

 

“I don’t know what to write, Ron.” Harry felt odd.

 

“Why don’t you send him a message by Patronus?” Ron suggested. “Makes it way more personal in my opinion.”

 

Harry wasn’t sure that was such a good idea, but on the other hand… “Maybe I will do just that.”

 

/

 

Severus checked his appearance again. For the last fifteen years he hadn’t bothered about his looks, but now that Remus proclaimed being interested in him, he thought he might make an effort. He had dressed in the dark green frock Albus had gotten him. It did make him look different – maybe too young? He was about to exchange it for something safe – his usual black coat, when he realized Remus had already arrived. The other wizard was early!

 

“Severus, where are you?” Remus looked about, wondering where his dinner date had disappeared to. When Severus stepped out of the bathroom, Remus smiled. “You look good,” he remarked – honestly. Severus did look good! He dropped his gift off onto the dining table and then made his way over to the other man. “Green suits you, and I am not saying that because you are Head of Slytherin.” Severus grew flustered, an action which no longer surprised him. Severus felt incredibly shy and insecure, Remus knew that. “Merry Christmas,” he whispered and carefully wrapped his arms around the other man.

 

“It’s only Christmas Eve. You are too early.” Severus’ breath caught upon feeling Remus wrap him up in an embrace. He allowed himself the luxury of closing his eyes and resting his head against Remus’ shoulder. He could stay like this forever.

 

“Aren’t you going to hug me back?” Remus thought it best to hint at what he wanted Severus to do, just in case the Potions Master felt unsure. Remus’ heart ached upon realizing just how careful and tender Severus enfolded him in that hug. It was like Severus was scared to overstep some boundary – which was probably exactly what the other wizard was worried about. “Feels good,” he whispered into Severus’ ear, hoping to take away any remaining doubts.

 

Severus relaxed marginally. Remus seemed to genuinely like being hugged. “I still find it hard to believe this is actually happening,” Severus admitted.

 

Remus smiled, a tad sad though, and soothingly rubbed Severus’ back. “You had better believe it, Severus. This IS happening.”

 

Severus pulled away and shyly raised his head. “Merry Christmas,” he whispered. He wondered what this Christmas would be like. He had never had anyone to share it with before. He forgot to breathe the moment Remus leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto his brow. Severus continued to stare at him. That was the second time Remus had kissed him!

 

Remus on the other hand, wished he could have kissed Severus on the lips instead, but he realized he needed to take things slow. “I don’t know about you, but I am hungry.”

 

Severus did feel a little bit hungry too, which in itself was surprising. Normally he lacked appetite. Remus kept an arm wrapped around his waist when they made their way over to the table, which the house elves had set for dinner.

 

Remus regretted having to let go, but then took his seat. There would be time for more touching later. To his surprise, he noticed not one, but two presents resting next to his plate. Rather large ones to be exact. He wanted to remind Severus that they had agreed on something small, but then realized Severus had gotten him those gifts because he cared about him. It would be petty to turn them away.

 

Tomato soup appeared in their bowls and Severus busied himself eating it. He needed a moment to compose himself again. Remus had the uncanny ability to confuse him. His confusion changed to alarm when the wards buzzed.

 

“Severus?” Remus’ wand immediately appeared in his hand.

 

“I don’t know,” Severus said, also uncovering his wand, and readying himself for a possible attack. Although, he was fairly sure no evil could attack them here in the Headmaster’s rooms. Stunned, he watched as a silver stag made its way toward them. “Harry?” Why would the young man send his patronus? Was he in danger?

 

“Professor, I hope I am not interrupting anything. I just want to make sure you are fine and that you have company. You told me to enjoy Christmas, but I keep thinking about you. Please let me know how you are doing.”

 

Harry’s voice faded and so did the patronus. Remus couldn’t help himself – he chuckled. “Someone’s worried about you,” he said in a caring voice. “I am not surprised, considering you saved his life.” Severus had almost died in the process. Of course, Harry would worry about the Potions Master! But looking at Severus told Remus that the thought had never occurred to the other wizard.

 

Severus didn’t know what to think of Harry’s message. “Do you think he’s in danger and can’t speak freely? Should we check on him?” Albus always kept a large collection of portkeys around. There was also one that would take them to the Burrow.

 

Remus put his wand away and reached for Severus’ hand instead. “I believe he’s worried about you, Severus. He wants to know you are fine. Harry isn’t in any danger.” But his words didn’t seem to reach the Potions Master, who impatiently chewed on his bottom lip.

 

“I should check on him. What if Voldemort has taken him and using him as bait?”

 

Remus sighed. Severus would drive himself insane with worry in that way. Remus could only think of one solution. He really didn’t want to abandon dinner, but Severus wouldn’t be able to focus until he had seen with his own eyes that Harry was fine. “You will be placing yourself in danger by going to the Burrow, Severus.”

 

“I don’t care about that.” Severus got to his feet and headed for Albus’ desk. He opened a draw and removed a spoon – the portkey he needed. “I need to check on him.”

 

“I am coming with you. No, Severus, save it. You won’t be able to talk me out of it. Wherever you are going, I am going too.” Resolutely, he took hold of Severus’ hand. “Just promise me we will continue dinner after making sure Harry’s fine.” He wanted to give Severus his present and maybe, hopefully, a decent kiss on the lips.

 

Severus nodded. “I promise.”

 

“Fine, then take us there.” Severus had to set his mind at ease, Remus understood that. He had told Severus not so long ago that he would support him and take care of him and he would keep his promise. Severus’ days of solitude were over. Now he had Remus to watch his back.

 

/

 

Remus looked about and realized they had actually travelled to the outskirts of the Burrow. He didn’t expect Death Eaters to constantly monitor the Weasleys, but he was rather safe than sorry and kept his wand extended, making sure he was ready in case of an attack. It didn’t surprise him that Severus was willing to risk his life in order to check on Harry. He had gotten to know Severus’ true nature rather well these last few months. “Everything looks calm.”

 

Severus had realized the same thing. He had also realized that he had probably overreacted and that the smartest thing to do was to return to Hogwarts and ask Molly to keep an eye on Harry. He was about to turn to Remus and inform him of his decision when the door opened and Arthur appeared in the doorway.

 

The wards had notified Arthur of their visitors and he was rather curious to find out why Severus and Remus had decided to visit on Christmas Eve. He blinked, still having to get used to Severus’ changed appearance. He couldn’t help but wonder about the emotional damage living such a hidden life must have done to the Potions Master. “Severus! Remus! Over here! Come inside!”

 

Molly appeared next to her husband. Since she always prepared too much food as it was, two extra eaters didn’t make a difference to her. “Tell them to make themselves at home.” She had always had a soft spot for Remus, and since learning the truth about Severus, she worried about him as well. “I will tell the children we have guests. I imagine Harry will feel rather pleased about this.” Harry had been talking about Severus off and on since arriving at the Burrow.

 

Arthur nodded. He didn’t know why the two men had decided to come to the Burrow, but they were welcome. Molly vanished back inside and Arthur smiled as the two wizards stepped up to him. “We weren’t expecting you,” he started and noticed Severus flinch, so he quickly added, “But you are most welcome! You always are! Step inside and have some tea with us! Molly is still busy getting dinner ready, so you are free to join us for the meal as well!”

 

“We don’t want to intrude,” Severus whispered, coming to a halt in front of Arthur. “I merely want to make sure Harry is fine. He sent his patronus and… I grew worried.” Severus stared at the snow beneath his feet. Now that he was rethinking everything, it was rather obvious that he had overreacted. “He is fine, isn’t he?” Severus peeked at Arthur and hoped the man wasn’t annoyed with him for showing up like that.

 

“Harry’s been talking about you ever since he arrived.” Arthur had studied Severus closely and knew what he had to do. He carefully placed an arm around the wizard’s shoulders and began to steer him inside. “He worries about you. I told him that Molly and I had invited the two of you, but that you had declined. Harry seemed disappointed at hearing it.” Exchanging a look with Remus, Arthur noticed the smile on the other wizard’s face. Remus knew what he was doing and approved – good.

 

Severus considered breaking free from Arthur’s hold, but good manners stopped him from doing so. Arthur was their host, and if the man was okay with him stepping inside then it wouldn’t do to be rude. “I don’t want to intrude,” he repeated. “Now that I know Harry is fine, I will take Remus back to Hogwarts with me. It’s Christmas Eve after all. You should celebrate it amongst yourselves.”

 

Arthur felt sad about hearing that and began to understand why Harry worried about Severus to such an extent. “You are welcome here, Severus. Remus already knows that, but I am under the impression I still need to convince you.” He tightened his hold on Severus’ shoulder. “You can stay for dinner – the invitation stands. If you don’t want that, say hello to Harry and have tea with him. It will do both of you a world of good.”

 

Severus wasn’t convinced, but Remus moved closer and started whispering.

 

“Accept the invitation, Severus. It’s all right. The Weasleys don’t mind us being here.”

 

Severus wavered; he looked at Arthur and tried to decipher the expression in the man’s eyes. He easily could have read the other wizard’s mind, but he wouldn’t trespass. “I don’t want to intrude,” he repeated.

 

“You are not intruding. You are welcome here.” Arthur hadn’t believed it possible, but apparently Harry had been right. Severus’ breakdowns had shattered the little self-esteem he’d had. He guided Severus inside and was relieved when the other wizard allowed him to do so. “Harry,” he called out, drawing the young man’s attention. “You have visitors!”

 

Harry, who had been playing exploding Snap with the twins and Ron, looked up in order to find who it was. Upon seeing Severus – looking distinctly out of place – he instantly realized that the message he had sent, must have worried the Potions Master, urging him into action. “Professor Snape!” He jumped to his feet and allowing his instinct to take over, wrapped his arms around the older man’s waist. “I didn’t mean to worry you!” He knew how dangerous it was for Severus to leave Hogwarts’ safety. “But for what it’s worth, I am glad you are here!”

 

Severus knew the boy spoke the truth. Harry was a remarkably bad liar. “I couldn’t help it,” he said, not really noticing the audience they had. “When I received your message I wondered if you were in trouble and couldn’t speak freely. I had to see for myself that you are fine.”

 

“I am fine!” Harry exclaimed happily. “And I feel even better now that you are here!”

 

Severus found that hard to believe, but at the same time, he knew it was the truth. “Now that I know you are safe, I had better leave. I don’t want to spoil Christmas Eve for you and your friends.” Harry’s expression darkened and Severus wondered why. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

 

“Can’t you stay a little longer?” Harry gave Remus a pleading look, hoping the DADA professor would back him up.

 

“I shouldn’t. You are with people who love you, Harry.” Severus stroked a strand of hair out of Harry’s face. “I would only ruin the mood.”

 

“With all due respect, sir,” George said, judging it was time to get involved. “You won’t. We want you to stay – honestly. You are not intruding and it means a lot to Harry to have you here. He has been worrying about you ever since he got here.”

 

“That’s true,” Ron added. “And I am sorry about that patronus worrying you. I am afraid I am to blame for that. I suggested it to Harry.” But on the other hand, it had made Severus come to the Burrow.

 

Severus still wavered. He found it hard to believe they really wanted him to stay.

 

Molly realized it too and decided to intervene. She gently took hold of Severus’ arm and guided him to the group of comfortable chairs in front of the fireplace. “Sit down, Severus, and make yourself comfortable. I will get you – and Remus here – some tea and we will add two extra chairs to the dinner table, and no, I am not accepting you declining my invitation. You are in my house now and you shall accept!”

 

Severus unsuccessfully fought the smile that threatened to form on his face. “Thank you, Molly.”

 

“You had better stop that nonsense, Severus. You are not leaving until after dinner!” Molly placed her hands on her hips. “You had better be hungry!”

 

“The house elves will be disappointed they can’t serve us dinner,” Severus whispered to Remus, who settled down in the chair next to him.

 

“They will survive,” Remus chuckled and accepted the tea Ginny handed him. “Thank you, dear.”

 

Severus felt oddly vulnerable sitting at the Weasleys’ hearth. He really didn’t belong here, but he still accepted the tea Fred offered him.

 

“Dinner will be ready in ten to fifteen minutes,” Fred said. “So mum says no treats. She doesn’t want you to spoil your appetite.” Though he had doubts about that. Severus looked way too thin as it was. “And I don’t dare cross her.”

 

“That’s fine, Fred. I don’t want to get you into trouble with your mother.” Molly always had the same effect on him too, Severus mused. Molly was a woman to reckon with.

 

“I have chocolate,” Harry whispered as he sat down to Severus’ other side. “If you want some,” he offered.

 

“No, it’s yours. You should eat it.” He wasn’t going to take food away from the boy. Severus blew onto the surface of his tea and gingerly looked at Remus. “I am sorry for ruining our evening. We should be having dinner at Hogwarts.”

 

“I don’t mind, Severus. I really don’t.” Remus smiled warmly. “Our presents will still be waiting for us when we get back.” He winked at Severus, hoping to reassure the other wizard.

 

Severus wondered about the strange situation he found himself. Spending Christmas Eve at the Burrow was totally unexpected. And why was Harry watching him so closely? “Are you sure everything is fine?”

 

“I am fine, sir. I really am.” Harry considered his next move very carefully. He rested his hand on Severus’, wrapping his fingers around the limb, which felt much too cold. “I am merely happy you agreed to stay.” The truth was, he wanted to spend more time with the older wizard. Ever since Severus had almost died de-hexing him, he had developed a deep and profound respect for the older man. He noticed the way the teacher stared at their hands and decided to ignore it. Instead he addressed Remus. “You were in the middle of having dinner?” Did that mean they had indeed been keeping each other company as he had hoped?

 

“Yes, the elves had just served soup,” Remus said and winked as well, letting Harry know that all was well. “Severus even got me two presents.”

 

Pleased, Harry grinned at Severus. “Are you going to tell me what you bought Remus?”

 

“I haven’t unpacked my gifts yet, Harry,” Remus said in an attempt to slow Harry down. “Give me a chance to find out.”

 

Harry nodded happily. Apparently the two teachers had kept their promise and had been about to spend Christmas in each other’s company. But having them here made him even happier.

 

“Dinner’s ready. Come and get it!” Molly announced as she appeared in the doorway. “And behave yourselves,” she told the twins. “We have guests after all!”

 

Fred and George smiled at each other. They would behave tonight, not for their mother’s sake, but because they remembered the fragile state their Potions Master had been in only weeks ago. And truth be told, he still looked frail. They weren’t going to aggravate the situation!

 

“Maybe we can slip out now,” Severus whispered to Remus. He still felt guilty for infringing on their privacy.

 

“No, sir, please stay.” Harry used his hold on Severus’ hand to urge him to his feet. “Misses Weasley is an excellent cook. You will like the food.”

 

“I know she cooks well,” Severus said quickly, but he had never been invited to dinner before. He had always bullied her, like he had been forced to bully everyone.

 

Harry maintained his hold on Severus’ hand and pulled him along. “You can sit here, if you want that. That way Remus can sit to your left and you’re sitting next to me as well.”

 

Severus continued to marvel about Harry’s eagerness to have him close. He looked about, wondering if he could still get away with sneaking off, but Molly’s stern look told him that it was no longer an option. Sighing, he sat down, noticing the way Harry seemed reluctant to let go of him.

 

“That boy has really taken a liking to you,” Arthur whispered, making sure only Severus heard him. “Accept it.”

 

Severus wasn’t sure he should accept it. Harry’s affection should go to Remus, Albus, the Weasleys, Hermione – everyone except him.

 

Harry read all that, and more, in Severus’ eyes and wished he knew of a way to convince his teacher that he was worthy of affection. But, even as young as Harry was, he understood that such acceptance took time. Harry hated having to wait, but he would, knowing that it would be worth it in the end.

 

/

 

Molly placed several large bowls and plates on the table so everyone could serve themselves. Remus noticed Severus’ growing unease and recalled the few meals they had shared in the past. He vividly remembered one meal, taken with Albus and James, where the Headmaster had continued to place food on Severus’ plate, as the Potions Master had seemed reluctant to do so himself. Remus didn’t know why that particular behavior had been ingrained on Severus, but realized it was posing problems now. It was up to him to solve it. “Here, let me,” he offered, picking up Severus’ plate and filling it with bits and pieces of everything on the table. Severus gave him a thankful look which made Remus realize they’d have to address the matter shortly. He wanted to know why Severus had problems with food. When he placed the plate back in front of Severus, he realized he might have overdone it. He doubted that the other wizard would manage to eat all that, especially considering how little Severus usually ate. If anyone noticed the odd behavior no one mentioned it, for which Remus felt grateful. He didn’t want Severus’ unease to increase. Instead, he wanted him to realize that they were among friends.

 

“Do leave some place for dessert, Severus. Molly’s apple pie with ice cream is delicious,” Arthur said. He had noticed Remus coming to the rescue when Severus had seemed overwhelmed by the food choices. He was beginning to realize that there was a lot he didn’t know about Severus. Which was odd, considering he had known the other wizard for almost twenty years! He couldn’t help but wonder how much of Severus’ conduct had been acting. He had the irksome feeling that he was seeing the real man only now. And what he saw, worried him.

 

“I am not sure I will be able to manage dessert,” Severus said apologetically, now and then eating something. Remus had really gone overboard. How was he supposed to eat all that?

 

“I notice Percy, Bill and Charlie are missing?” Remus said in an attempt to draw Arthur’s attention away from Severus.

 

“Percy won’t join us this Christmas. I am sorry to say he has been acting rather obnoxiously.” Arthur didn’t like that, but Percy was acting like a megalomaniac and he didn’t approve of it. “Charlie and Bill will join us tomorrow.”

 

Severus grew aware of Harry’s gaze which lingered upon him. Why was the boy staring at him? He cast a quick look at the Gryffindor.

 

Harry smiled reassuringly. “I was thinking about my visit tomorrow. How late do you want me to show up?”

 

Oh damn… Severus cringed upon remembering he had promised the boy he could visit on Christmas Day.

 

“How about two o’clock?” Remus said, coming to the rescue again.

 

“Sounds good.” Harry was going to stay as long as he could. “Will you drop me off?” he asked mister Weasley.

 

“Both Molly and I will escort you the main gate, where Severus will pick you up.”

 

At least they were being sensible and provided the boy with a double escort. Severus still didn’t like it though. Harry was safe at the Burrow because of the wards, which Albus himself had strengthened. But the moment Harry left the safety of the Burrow… “Maybe I can pick you up instead? We can use a portkey to get into Albus’ office. That reduces the risk of you being exposed.”

 

Arthur exchanged a quick look with Remus. He was about to remind Severus that both Molly and he were members of the Order, but when Remus shook his head, he remained quiet and waited.

 

“I am sure Arthur and Molly are perfectly capable of taking Harry to Hogwarts.” Remus slid his hand into the long strands and rubbed his fingertips against Severus’ cheek. “We will wait for them at the gate, yes?” Remus wasn’t aware of the fact that Arthur and Molly were closely watching him. Therefore he also failed to see the look the two of them gave each other.

 

Molly and Arthur, who had been in love for so long, easily recognized the same emotion in Remus’ eyes. The thing that surprised them however, was the fact, that Severus’ eyes carried the same expression. Apparently the attraction was mutual, which was the last thing they had expected.

 

Severus put down his knife and fork and slightly shifted his chair away from the table. He had eaten all he could and his stomach was beginning to protest, unaccustomed as it was to larger qualities. He had to stop now, especially if Molly planned on feeding him dessert! Severus watched Harry lean into Molly and whisper something into her ear, at which she started to whisper to Arthur. What was going on? And should he worry about it? Remus’ hand suddenly settled on top of his and he quickly shook his head. “They will notice,” Severus mumbled, leaning in closer. “You can’t want that.”

 

“I don’t mind, Severus. I don’t mind at all. Once they know, I won’t have to hide my affection for you.” Remus understood Severus’ trepidation but didn’t share it. Molly and Arthur knew him well enough to trust him. Severus however, gave him another pleading look, at which Remus began to rub the other wizard’s cold fingers.

 

At that point, even the twins had noted the tender exchange and grinned at each other. With the way Severus now looked – and acted – they could easily understand why Remus felt attracted to him. They would be the last ones to disapprove of the new relationship – especially recalling how much their teacher had suffered recently.

 

Harry noticed the reassurance Remus gave Severus, but didn’t think beyond that. He was still too excited to actually have them stay the evening. So, he had made another suggestion to Molly and she had quickly agreed to asking Arthur.

 

It was Arthur who eventually addressed the two of them, while Molly disappeared to get dessert. He leaned in closer and waited patiently for Severus, who seemed reluctant to meet his gaze.

 

Severus instantly noticed being at the center of Arthur’s attention and worried about it. What had happened?

 

“Harry suggested you’d stay the night.” Arthur had thought everything through on forehand, so when Severus wanted to object, he started talking again. “And I agree. I would love for you to stay. We have a spare room you can use, as long as the two of you don’t mind sharing.” Well, they had two spare rooms, but they didn’t need to know that. He had the feeling Remus especially would welcome the idea of sharing a bed.

 

Severus stared at Remus and repeatedly shook his head. It was bad enough they had disrupted the Weasleys’ evening! They couldn’t stay the night, but he couldn’t say it to Remus like that. He needed to be Slytherin about this! “It’s not safe here.”

 

“The Burrow is almost as safe as Hogwarts is,” Remus pointed out to the Potions Master while twining their fingers. He suspected Severus wasn’t going to play fair, so he decided to use some of his own tricks. “Plus, Harry is staying as well. That way we will be close and you can keep an eye on him. You won’t have to worry about what’s happening at the Burrow while you are at Hogwarts.” It was an excellent reason to stay and Remus knew it. Severus would have a hard time denying it.

 

“You are right,” Severus had to admit, but he still didn’t like it. “But what if Death Eaters saw us arrive at the Burrow? What if they will attack because I am here? At the moment, the Dark Lord wants me even more than he wants Harry.”

 

“Then we will fight at your side and defend ourselves!” Molly resolutely placed a serving of apple pie and ice cream in front of Severus. “We can take them!”

 

“Molly, I don’t doubt your abilities, but why endanger your family unnecessarily?” Severus wished she would listen to reason!

 

“Severus Snape,” Molly said as she placed her hands on either side of his chair, carefully keeping him in place. “You can’t hide from that monster. You shouldn’t need to. We will fight him when he attacks us. We can’t live in fear like that.”

 

“Molly’s right.” Arthur smiled at Severus. “We can’t run away from fate. We can only make the best out of the time given to us. And to us, that’s time spend together and not alone.”

 

Severus realized he was outnumbered when Remus, Harry, Molly, Arthur and even the twins gave him hopeful looks. “This goes against my judgment,” he murmured. “I am endangering the lot of you.”

 

“We accept that,” Molly said, backing off and taking her seat next to her husband’s. “But we won’t run away in fear. We won’t hide in fear and neither will you, Severus Snape!”

 

Severus actually flinched at her sharp tone. Remus instantly squeezed his fingers in an effort to reassure him. Remus was sure Molly meant well, but she was coming on too strong. “Severus, what do you say? Do you want to stay the night or go home to Hogwarts? It is your decision. We will do what you think is for the best.” It was important to give Severus that particular choice for the Potions Master needed to feel in control.

 

Severus studied Remus and felt relieved upon realizing that the other wizard was honest. Remus would accept whatever he decided. Making said decision was hard though. Just looking at Harry told him how much the boy wanted them to stay. And Remus had raised a valid point by reminding him they would be able to protect Harry better if they stayed close. He didn’t mind sharing with Remus – that didn’t particularly bother him. What did worry him was being away from his life line – Hogwarts. First Albus had left him to visit Lila. Then Remus had invited him to dinner. Things continued to develop at a rapt tempo. Now the Weasleys hadn’t merely invited them to dinner, but to be their guests for the night as well. Everything was happening too damn fast!

 

“Severus?” Remus tried to gain his attention again.

 

“We can stay,” Severus said, hoping he had reached the right decision. “But only for tonight!” His presence at the Burrow was a double-edged sword. It allowed him to guard and protect the boy, but Death Eaters might be drawn close due to his presence. He was damned, no matter what decision he made!

 

“I will ready your room.” Molly smiled at them. Severus waging such an inner war hadn’t escaped her and she was happy he had decided to accept her invitation. “Now eat your dessert,” she said, pointing at his untouched plate. “Make sure you eat most of it.” She wouldn’t harass him if he didn’t manage to eat all of it. He looked like he barely ate to begin with!

 

Severus picked up the fork and got started on the piece of pie, which Molly had –thankfully – kept relatively small, compared to the ones she was serving the rest. He wasn’t sure he would be able to finish it, but he would try.

 

/

 

Severus had settled down on a sofa close to the fireplace. He still felt chilled at times and appreciated the extra warmth. He watched the Weasleys as they cleaned up the kitchen – some by magic, some by hand. Remus had decided to use the portkey back to Hogwarts in order to fetch their presents, as he did want to unwrap them in the morning. Severus had insisted they could do so upon their return to Hogwarts, but Remus had pointed out that Molly would never let them go without having eaten a large breakfast. And since Harry would drop by at two, that left them little time. So he had suggested unwrapping the gifts when they would wake up. That left Severus alone – well alone, that wasn’t quite correct. Harry had made himself comfortable in a chair opposite him and seemed keen on keeping him company.

 

“Thank you for staying.” Harry smiled at Severus. “I worried about you being alone at Hogwarts.”

 

“Remus was keeping me company,” Severus felt compelled to point out.

 

“True,” Harry admitted, “But I like having you here with me best.”

 

“But why?” Severus frowned, only belatedly realizing he had asked Harry that aloud.

 

Harry wasn’t surprised to hear the Potions Master wondering about it. “Because I like you. Ever since I found out that your bullying was just an act, I… I just like you.” Harry blushed slightly. He found it hard to explain that his feelings toward the Potions Master had changed. He tried again. “Ever since you de-hexed me I realized how much you care about me. Which makes me care about you in turn.” Harry drew in a deep breath before continuing. “I am sorry for what Sirius did to you.”

 

“That’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself for that.” Severus noticed Molly and Arthur joining them, while their sons headed upstairs. Maybe it was best to stop that conversation now.

 

Harry didn’t think so though. He didn’t mind Molly and Arthur hearing what he had to say. “I don’t, but I am angry with Sirius nonetheless. My parents made him my godfather, and now I find myself wishing they had chosen you instead. I love Sirius, I really do, but he isn’t rational. He has been… damaged.” Harry hoped he wasn’t hurting anyone’s feelings by saying that. After all, he was going against his parents’ wishes.

 

Severus felt shaken. “Harry, you shouldn’t say something like that. Your parents picked Black for a reason. They couldn’t know that being imprisoned in Azkaban would change him like that!” He couldn’t believe he was actually defending his arch enemy!

 

“I don’t care about Azkaban.” Harry shook his head firmly. “That didn’t turn him into a bully. He already was one at school!”

 

“Harry,” Severus tried to shut out the Weasleys, but he could tell that Molly was getting riled up and would get involved if he didn’t stop this quickly. “I am sure that Black could do with your support. He loves you.” Molly snorted and shifted on the sofa and Severus cringed. For Merlin’s sake, he was doing his best to defend Black, so Harry’s dislike wouldn’t continue to grow.

 

“Severus, that’s a whole lot of bullshit,” Molly said unceremoniously. “The twins told me what kind of so-called pranks Sirius pulled on you and even Fred and George felt Sirius had gone too far.” To hear Severus defend Sirius made her doubt his sanity. “Sirius needs his ass kicked big time for what he did to you. The boy is right. Sirius isn’t suitable godfather material!” She steadfastly met Severus’ shocked gaze. “I am merely saying what this whole family is thinking!”

 

Arthur nodded as Severus was now looking at him. “Molly is right. Sirius is much too damaged to be the godfather Harry deserves.” From the corner of his eye, he caught Remus stepping into the living room, but he doubted Severus had noticed his arrival yet.

 

“And I am not? Arthur look at me. After what the Dark Lord did to me… After all the times I failed Harry – and Albus, how can you say I would make a suitable godfather? Harry deserves so much better. If he wants to choose someone to take on that parental role, I suggest he chooses you, or Albus, or Remus, but certainly not me!”

 

Remus cringed at hearing that. It once more showed how little Severus thought of himself. He was about to object, but then Harry beat him to it.

 

“But I don’t want Arthur to take that place!” Harry gave Arthur an apologetic look. “I am sorry, sir, but your family needs you and I… I need something else. Someone else,” he corrected himself. “I want you, professor, to take that place.”

 

Remus grinned at seeing Severus’ stunned expression. Severus surely hadn’t expected a fierce reaction like that!

 

“Harry, this is folly. You are making a mistake. My life is forfeit. The Dark Lord and his Death Eaters will hunt me down. They won’t rest until I am dead. Who knows what new ways he will find to torment me through the Dark Mark.” Severus hated doing this to the boy, but he had no choice. “Harry, I will die shortly. One way or another, the Dark Lord will get to me. I am living on borrowed time. You should choose someone like Arthur, or Remus, instead.”

 

Arthur and Remus exchanged a look, but remained quiet, feeling fairly certain Harry could handle it.

 

“And what about me?” Harry glared at his teacher. “Voldemort has been hunting me since the day I was born. He killed my parents. He watches my every move. I don’t expect to live that long either, but that doesn’t mean I am willing to put my life on hold because of that bastard! Respectfully, sir, your argument means crap to me.”

 

Remus’ grin broadened. He silently applauded Harry. He couldn’t have said it better. Severus’ stunned look told him that the Potions Master really couldn’t understand why Harry was that determined to change his mind.

 

“Harry,” Severus started, but then grew lost for words. He had said everything he could think of!

 

“Sir, you had better get used to the fact that I will stick around.”

 

Severus nodded numbly. He was beginning to realize that he wouldn’t be able to change Harry’s mind – at least, not at the current moment. Maybe he would be more successful later. His nervousness increased when Harry got to his feet in order to exchange his chair for the spot next to him on the sofa. He watched the boy wearily, wondering what Harry was up next. Harry wrapped his fingers around his left hand and held on tight. Severus swallowed nervously, since it was an action Remus had also taken to carrying out.

 

“I simply like you, sir, and I hope you won’t mind me being a pain in the ass.”

 

Severus merely nodded; what could he possibly say to that? Sudden movement to his right made him look up. How long had Remus already been standing there? Long enough – that was what Remus’ expression told him.

 

“I hope you are not going to hog Severus,” Remus said as he sat down on the armrest to Severus’ other side. “I like him too.”

 

That was the moment Harry finally got it. The adults, and even Ron, had caught on earlier during dinner. But now, Harry realized the truth as well. “You like him as in – you really like him?” He wasn’t prejudiced. He didn’t mind being around same sex couples, although he would need quite some time to get used to the two of them actually being together in that way. “Cool.”

 

Severus, who had been holding his breath, in anticipation of Harry starting to yell at them, felt stunned once more. The boy didn’t mind?

 

“Does that mean I interrupted a date?” Harry wiggled an eyebrow. “Your dinner date for Christmas Eve?”

 

Severus gasped. He had never thought of it like that!

 

“Don’t worry about it, Harry. I don’t mind sharing Severus for tonight, but tomorrow, he is mine again.” Remus leaned in closer and pointedly ignored Severus’ attempt to pull away from him. Instead, he pressed a kiss onto the black hair.

 

“I might have to reconsider making you share a room,” said Molly, but at the same time, she grinned.

 

“We can go back to Hogwarts if I am making you uncomfortable,” Severus replied at once, eager to keep the matriarch on his good side.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Molly stared. “I was merely joking!” It surprised her that Severus would take her words so seriously. Maybe she should pay more attention to how she addressed him. Severus seemed incredibly insecure and low on self-esteem. She had better make sure there were no more misunderstandings!

 

Molly left for the kitchen and returned with tea and biscuits. She noticed the look Severus gave the snack and realized she had probably overdone it with making him eating dessert. “Your room is ready for you. Just tell me when you get tired and I will show you.” If her maternal instincts weren’t deceiving her, Severus was already very tired. She guessed he would nod off during the next hour.

 

/

 

All Weasleys had gathered in the living room to place their presents underneath the tree, so they could unwrap them right after breakfast. Molly watched Severus closely and quickly realized that his eyes were moist. Only now did she realize that this might be the first family-orientated Christmas he had ever had. After learning so many new things about him, she was determined never to take anything for granted again. “He’s getting tired,” she pointed out to Remus, who sat next to her.

 

Remus nodded. “It’s time for bed. He still tires easily.”

 

“Is he still recovering from removing that curse?” Harry would feel guilty if that was the case.

 

“In some ways, yes,” Remus replied truthfully. “But it isn’t just that. Voldemort also did a lot of damage. It’s all those things combined.”

 

“Maybe you should ask James or Jeffrey to have a look at him.” Harry was also quite fond of the two healers.

 

“I am certain they will turn up at Hogwarts tomorrow to do just that.” Remus got to his feet, covered the small distance between Severus and he, and leaned in closer. “Severus, bed time… Can you get to your feet for me?”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I can!” Severus forced his eyes open. There was no way he was going to allow Remus to levitate or carry him to their room!

 

Remus quickly caught on and wrapped an arm around the Potions Master, gently pulling him to his feet. Once Severus stood, Remus kept the arm in place. “You can go back to sleep in a moment. Just stay awake for me.”

 

Molly watched them make their way upstairs. She couldn’t help being concerned about Severus. She really needed to talk to Harry and find out what exactly had happened at Hogwarts during these last few months! “I hope this will do. It’s Bill’s room.” She opened the door and watched Remus maneuver Severus inside. “It has its own bathroom, so you have some privacy.” Looking at Severus, she reckoned he would be vast asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. “Take good care of him, Remus. I will call you for breakfast around ten. No reason to get up early on Christmas Day.”

 

“Thank you, Molly, for everything.” Remus gave her a smile when she closed the door behind him. Then he focused his full attention on Severus. “Still awake?” All he got was a snort, which told him the Potions Master was asleep on his feet. “All right, I can do this.” Remus lowered Severus onto the bed and configured comfortable sleeping pants and T-shirt out of the formal clothes Severus was wearing. Next, he pulled down the comforter, lifted Severus’ feet, and then covered him – tucking him in. Severus immediately turned onto his side, grabbed a spare pillow, and cuddled up to it. Remus stood back, enjoying the peaceful scene.

 

Remus made quick work of his bathroom routine, transfigured his own clothes and then eagerly slid between the sheets. He carefully removed the pillow from Severus’ hands, which proved difficult, as the other man refused to let go initially. Remus quickly moved closer and wrapped his arms around Severus, who instantly inched closer toward him. Locked in a tight embrace, Remus hoped Severus would sleep smoothly through the night.

 

/

 

Remus woke because Severus was moving about. His first thought was actually his biggest fear - namely that Severus was being summoned. “Severus?”

 

“Bathroom… I need to go,” Severus’ blather had woken him and he had almost panicked. But then he had recalled his whereabouts and that Remus was with him. He wasn’t back at home with his parents looking out to get him. “Where is it?”

 

“Lumos,” Remus said and was surprised to see fear on Severus’ face. “Over there,” he said, pointing the way. He kept the light on and waited for Severus to join him again, which he did after a few minutes, looking rather relieved.

 

Severus remained standing next to the bed, suddenly apprehensive about claiming his spot again. They had never slept in the same bed before and he wasn’t sure if Remus wanted him in it. “I can sleep on the floor,” he whispered, about to retrieve a pillow and one of the comforters.

 

“Why would you do such a thing?” Remus quickly lifted the comforter. “Come on, Severus, the bed is growing cold without you in it.”

 

To Severus that confirmed that Remus wanted him there indeed. Cautiously, he climbed back in, but was careful to maintain a respectful distance, as he didn’t want Remus to feel crowded.

 

Remus realized what was going on in Severus’ head and knew he had to put a stop to it; so he moved closer and buried Severus in a hug once more. “Can’t sleep without my favorite pillow,” he said lightly. Severus had tensed the moment his arms had closed around him, but Remus decided to ignore that for now.

 

Severus wasn’t sure what to think of Remus hugging him. It felt nice and it made him feel safe, but he didn’t want to be a burden. “You don’t have to do this,” he whispered softly.

 

“I know that, but I want to… Try to go back to sleep, Severus. Molly might feel personally insulted if you appear with dark rings beneath your eyes at her breakfast table.”

 

Well, he could use glamours to hide that, if necessary. But Severus was growing tired again and Remus’ body warmth increased that drowsiness further until he eventually fell asleep again.

 

/

 

Sometime during the night, Severus jolted awake. The pain moving through his left arm was crippling, and it told him that Voldemort wasn’t just plain angry – no, the Dark Lord was absolutely furious. It didn’t have to be just him the Dark Lord was targeting though – he might be doing this to everyone who bore the Dark Mark. For some minutes, he succeeded in staying motionless, as he didn’t want to wake Remus. But in the end, the pain became too much. He groaned loudly and his body twisted around his arm in a vain attempt to protect it from the summons. Damn, he didn’t want to wake Remus – didn’t want to see the disgust and condemnation in those amber eyes!

 

Remus woke with a start upon finding Severus jerking next to him. Worried, he sat up, and studied the Potions Master, quickly locating the problem as Severus was clutching his left arm. He had always known this would happen. He was merely relieved that Albus had taught him the counter spell so he could end the pain Severus was in. He did have to talk to Severus though; Severus had to understand that he could come to him for help, no matter how hard that might be on the Potions Master who wasn’t used to enlisting anyone’s help. “Severus?” He cringed upon seeing the hurt and ashamed expression in those brown eyes. “I can help. Let me? Please?” He carefully reached for Severus’ left arm and cradled it against him. With his other hand, he quickly retrieved his wand. “Albus taught me the counter spell, remember?”

 

Severus remembered. He just wasn’t sure it was appropriate to abuse Remus’ loyalty in that way. But the pain was crippling and still intensified. He could no longer ignore the possibility that Voldemort wanted to do away with him for once and for all. “Please,” he whispered in the end, after another particularly nasty wave of pain rolled through him.

 

“Terminate summons,” Remus said in a firm voice, putting every ounce of his willpower and love into the command, hoping it would work. He wasn’t as powerful as Albus, but it worked. Remus could tell because Severus’ features relaxed. The Potions Master melted against him in search of warmth and assurance. Remus acted at once and buried him in a tight embrace. “We can beat the old bastard,” he said, feeling relieved it had worked.

 

“For now,” Severus mumbled as he raised his gaze in order to look upon Remus. When the DADA Professor had cast the counter spell, it had felt different from when Albus had done it. When someone cast it, he could sense the love and dedication in that spell. Things he always felt when Albus cast it, but there was another dimension to it when Remus did it. He could no longer deny the fact that Remus loved him. Not like Albus did – as a father loved a son, but this… this baffled him. “Thank you,” he managed eventually. “I don’t know what happened, but something pissed him off.”

 

“That’s why you have me,” Remus whispered in a loving tone. He wasn’t sure it was the sensible thing to do, but he followed his instinct and placed a kiss onto Severus’ brow. “I will fight him for you each day of our lives.”

 

Severus knew the declaration for what it was. Remus was declaring his love for him and he blushed. He was trying to think of something to say when the pain in his arm flared again – even stronger this time. His body convulsed and spasms shook him hard.

 

Remus acted faster this time. “Terminate summons!” He was getting pissed off with Voldemort.

 

Severus couldn’t believe his luck when the incantation worked once more. Still panting from the agony he had been in, he stared at Remus in wonder. Then his fears returned. “It is only a matter of time before he finds a way to deal with the counter spell.” And then the agony would become endless.

 

“In that case, Albus and I will find another way to counter the summons. We don’t give up easily!” Remus declared passionately.

 

“Maybe…” Severus rested his head against Remus’ shoulder. “I am scared,” he admitted in a moment of honesty. “He won’t stop until I am dead.”

 

“He won’t get to you, love,” Remus said, using the term of endearment on purpose. “I will fight for you.”

 

Severus flinched against Remus’ chest. Had the other wizard really called him that? Shyly, he raised his gaze and searched Remus’ face. By Merlin, it really was love, wasn’t it? There was no way Remus could fake that look!

 

“Yes, I love you,” Remus repeated upon seeing Severus’ stunned look. “And I won’t shy away from expressing my feelings in that way.”

 

Severus felt his blush deepen. “Remus…” He was about to remind the other wizard whom he was courting and how much he didn’t deserve said love, when Remus’ lips descended onto his in order to deliver a chaste kiss.

 

Remus kept the kiss short, although he would have preferred to taste Severus in more detail, but he knew he had to take small steps. “Try to get more sleep, Severus. I will watch over you.” Hopefully Voldemort had tired of summoning the Potions Master.

 

Severus felt confused and easily enough accepted the way out Remus was offering him. He closed his eyes, pretending to go back to sleep, when in reality, all he could think of was the kiss Remus had just given him.

 

/

 

“Rise and shine! Breakfast is ready! If you don’t show up on time, mum is going to get you!” Fred announced happily. He was surprised when no reaction was forth coming though. He had expected their guests to be punctual. He was even more surprised when the door opened and a disheveled looking DADA professor appeared, quickly closing the door behind him. Uh, Lupin looked like he’d had a hellish night.

 

“Fred?” Remus hoped he had guessed correctly. Fred nodded and so he continued, “Severus won’t be able to make it I am afraid. We have had a… disturbing night,” he said eventually. “I will join you in five, though.”

 

“What happened? Or don’t you want me to know?” Fred imagined he wasn’t the best choice to confide in. His pranks were legendary and that might keep Lupin from telling him.

 

Tiredly, Remus ran a hand through his hair. “Voldemort kept summoning him last night. He was in a lot of pain and didn’t get much sleep. He isn’t doing well.”

 

Fred nodded thoughtfully. It hadn’t occurred to him that Voldemort would continue to summon Snape, considering the fact that the Potions Master was no longer the evil wizard’s supporter. “Why is he doing that?”

 

“Summoning Severus?” Remus asked in order to make sure he had the question right. “Punishment, Fred. The summons hurt immensely and I have the feeling Voldemort is trying to damage Severus as much as he can.”

 

Fred nodded again. “I will tell mum, and don’t hurry on her account. She will understand. Is there anything I can do?”

 

“Not at the moment, although… Maybe you can contact James or Jeffrey? One of them should check on Severus.”

 

“I will do just that,” Fred replied, eager to help. “Want something to drink? Some tea? Water?”

 

Remus considered the request. “Maybe some sweet hot tea would help. Thanks, Fred.”

 

“You are welcome.” Fred shuffled his feet. “You might find this hard to believe but I want to help. When George and I helped out during classes, we got to know him better.”

 

“Thanks,” Remus repeated. “Once Severus realizes he has friends in you two, he will greatly appreciate it. It might take him some time though to accept it.”

 

“We will wait.” Fred excused himself to tell his mum their guests wouldn’t join them for breakfast and then he intended to return with tea and some toast. Remus looked like he could do with some food and once Snape had recovered he might be hungry too.

 

/

 

“Where are Severus and Remus?” Molly frowned upon finding the two allotted seats unoccupied. She had made herself clear last night, hadn’t she? “Fred?” The first thing she noticed was that her son looked positively worried.

 

“I went to wake them,” Fred explained, thinking about the best way to word this. “Professor Lupin told me that you-know-who summoned professor Snape all night. Apparently the summons hurt a great deal and Snape is still recovering. I offered to take up some tea and toast, just in case they get hungry later. Professor Lupin also asked me to contact the healers.”

 

“That bad?” Molly sighed; she hadn’t expected any of this. She had been blind to assume Voldemort would give up on Severus. “Fire call the healers, Fred, I will take care of their tea.” Fred nodded and moved over to the fireplace while Molly put together a tray of hot sweet tea, toast, and some sliced fruit, which should go easy on Severus’ stomach. She watched her son talk to the youngest healer and then went upstairs. It was eerily quiet inside the room. “Remus? It’s me. I have got some tea for you. Do you want me to leave it outside?” Severus had always struck her as a man who didn’t want others to see him when he was vulnerable.

 

“No, you can come in.”

 

Molly opened the door and stepped into the room. Both wizards were still in bed. Remus was already properly dressed for the day, but Severus was still wrapped up in the comforter – seemingly still asleep. She startled at seeing how pale the Potions Master looked – and how damn young! “Fred is talking to Jeffrey… I am sure he will join us shortly.”

 

“Thanks, Molly.” Remus kept a tight hold on his charge and watched Molly levitate the tray onto the nightstand. “Some tea will do him good. I have the feeling he’s about to wake up.” Severus’ sleep had turned restless and the other wizard moved about. Remus checked for any lines of pain on Severus’ face and relaxed when he didn’t find any.

 

Severus woke only slowly from his nightmarish sleep. After Voldemort had finally stopped summoning him, nightmares picturing old Death Eaters meetings had attacked him in his sleep. Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and felt immensely relieved at seeing Remus sitting there – still at his side. He had been worried that the other wizard would tire of him and leave. “Remus,” he managed weakly.

 

“I am here, Severus, you are not alone.” Remus carefully manhandled Severus into a sitting position. “Do you want some tea?” It might be a good thing to get some fluids into the exhausted wizard.

 

It was only then that Severus registered Molly’s presence and he immediately shrank away against Remus, trying to make himself as small as possible.

 

Severus’ reaction wasn’t lost on Molly, whose maternal heart went out to him. She carefully moved closer and sat on the side of the bed. “Severus?” The way he searched her face and flinched upon meeting her eyes, only strengthened her motherly feelings. “How are you doing?” He looked like death warmed over, to be honest. The only thing that was stopping her from pulling him against her chest was the fact that Remus seemed to have a good hold on the situation.

 

“I am sorry,” Severus whispered, quickly averted his gaze. “I probably ruined breakfast.”

 

“You did nothing of the kind!” Molly wondered about the best way to approach the man. “Remus told me that Riddle has been tormenting you last night so you have the perfect reason to stay in bed. No one is angry with you – least of all, me.” She wondered how he would react to her touch. Well, there was only one way to find out. Making sure Severus saw what she was doing, she rested her hand on his head, soothingly massaging the scalp and stroking the dark hair, which was much longer than she recalled. Severus tensed at first, but then seemed to accept her touch.

 

Severus was too tired to object to Molly mothering him. He wasn’t worthy of her concern, but couldn’t find the energy to tell her so. Accepting the caress required much less energy and he relaxed again against Remus, briefly closing his eyes. He had to open them again however, when Remus offered him some of the sweet tea.

 

“Just a few sips – then I will back off,” Remus promised.

 

Severus sighed, but then obediently swallowed the cooled down tea. It actually felt good to get some fluids into his system and he downed the whole cup.

 

Pleased, Remus nodded and placed the empty cup aside. Another knock drew his attention to the door. Severus flinched and pressed closer against him. “We are amongst friends, love.”

 

Severus relaxed slightly at hearing that last word and nodded against Remus’ chest.

 

Jeffrey opened the door, took in the scene, and immediately focused on his patient. Molly got to her feet in order to make way and he quickly took her place. Jeffrey rested his hand on Severus’ shoulder and scanned his patient. Exhaustion and echoes of pain moved through him. “What happened?” he asked while feeding Severus a steady amount of healing energy.

 

“Voldemort summoned him twice last night,” Remus replied when Severus remained quiet. “I managed to stop the summons fairly quickly, but they did some damage nonetheless.”

 

“In itself minor damage, but combined with everything Severus had to deal with, it is a different story all together. We need to discuss this with Albus. We MUST find a way to break this connection.” He feared Voldemort would find a way to kill Severus through the Dark Mark. “Let me see, Severus, just for a moment.” Severus made a sound that could be considered either consent or disapproval. Jeffrey carefully pushed the sleeve out of the way and studied the Mark – and the scar that ran across it.

 

Someone gasped loudly at seeing it, which made Remus turn his head inquisitively. By Merlin, what was Harry doing in their room? “Harry, you don’t need to be here.”

 

Harry however shook his head. “What did he do?” He pointed at the Mark and his hand shook with emotion.

 

“He tried to cut it off,” Jeffrey said, seeing no reason for secrecy as they were amongst friends.

 

Harry wasn’t the only one who felt shocked. Molly released a pitiful sigh and Remus reacted by pulling Severus even closer against him. “He did what?” Harry stared at the scar.

 

“He wasn’t quite himself when he did that,” Jeffrey offered as he concentrated on feeding his patient more energy. “You didn’t know?” he asked Remus, who looked shell-shocked.

 

“No one ever told me,” Remus confirmed. “And we haven’t been that intimate yet that we have seen each other without clothes.” Severus flinched at that and Remus quickly stroked the long hair. “Well, that is nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

“When is Albus due to return?” Jeffrey asked, slowing down the energy flow as Severus seemed to be growing stronger.

 

“January third,” Severus mumbled. The rational part of his mind told him he should be upset because of the way they were discussing him, but another part told him it was fine – it showed they cared.

 

“That’s another nine days,” Jeffrey said thoughtfully. He didn’t like that and privately decided to fire call the Headmaster should Voldemort summon Severus again. Jeffrey noticed the tray with the sliced fruit. “Give me that,” he told Remus, who quickly handed him the plate. “Severus, I want you to eat something. It’s only sliced fruit, so it will go easy on your stomach. It’s something your system can handle.”

 

Sighing, Severus surrendered to the healer’s care. He moved away from Remus – slightly – so he could pick up an apple slice. Munching on it, he wondered why Molly was giving him such worried looks.

 

Molly forced a smile onto her face as she didn’t want to worry him. “I know that you intend to return to Hogwarts, but feel free to stay as long as you wish. You are welcome here, Severus.” After giving him another smile, she left the room, realizing the Potions Master might want some privacy.

 

Jeffrey considered the offer and came to the conclusion he liked it. “She is right – staying at the Burrow will do you good.”

 

“How do you figure that?” Severus obediently sucked at an orange slice before eating it.

 

“You have friends here,” Remus replied instead. “Having some company might make you realize you aren’t alone.”

 

“I am not alone; I have you,” Severus whispered softly.

 

“Yes, you have me.” Remus kissed Severus’ brow, but then continued, “But you need to realize you have more friends except for Albus and me. Molly, Arthur, Harry, and dare I say it, the twins, like you as well.” Remus easily detected the disbelief on Severus’ face. “It’s the truth, love, you had better accept it.”

 

Jeffrey blinked in surprise. Love? Had Remus really called Severus that? Looking more closely, he realized how blind he had been. It was rather obvious that the two were attracted to each other! “That’s great,” he commented, pleased. “Perfect.” As far as Jeffrey was concerned, gaining a lover was the best thing that could happen to Severus at that point. To his amusement, Severus grew fiercely flustered. “Invite me to the wedding when Remus proposes, will you?” As he had intended, Severus’ blush intensified.

 

Harry, who had stayed in the back, now moved toward the bed. “Does this mean I can’t visit?”

 

Severus rested his head against Remus’ shoulder and considered the boy standing in front of him. He had no idea why Harry wanted to spend time with him, but he was loath to deny the youngster. “I reckon I won’t be leaving the Burrow any time soon… So, you don’t have to come to Hogwarts… I will be here instead. Is that acceptable?” Harry then did something that took him completely by surprise. For some unfathomable reason Harry curled his arms around him and hugged him.

 

Harry noticed the tension moving through Severus’ body and felt sad because the Potions Master was so unaccustomed to touch that a hug would make him feel uncomfortable. He vowed to remedy that and to hug Severus as often as he could. “More than acceptable.”

 

Jeffrey watched the scene with glittering eyes. He had to fight back the tears that threatened to drip down his face. Severus hadn’t realized it yet, but he was about to gain a whole new family.

 

/

 

Severus wasn’t sure why he had let Remus and Jeffrey talk him into going downstairs. He had been perfectly happy in bed, where he would have gladly hidden for as long as he lived.

 

Remus kept an arm wrapped around Severus’ shoulder and guided him towards the sofa nearest to the tree. “Sit down, will you?” Severus’ fragile state worried him.

 

Severus complied and sat down, noticing with surprise that all presents still rested beneath the giant Christmas tree. Why hadn’t the Weasleys unwrapped them yet? His eyes narrowed as he also spied three familiar packages. Those were his gifts to Remus, and next to them, rested the package Remus had intended for him. What were they doing here?

 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Remus whispered as he sat down next to the anxious Potions Master. “Molly and Arthur postponed unwrapping them so we could participate and I said it was okay.”

 

Severus quickly thought it over and realized his presents wouldn’t get him into trouble. The book might earn him some raised eyebrows, but he would survive. “It’s fine.” He leaned back and rested his head against the pillowed back of the sofa. He tensed again when the Weasleys and Harry gathered close and took their places. Maybe he should have asked Jeffrey to stay, just in case he was going to suffer a nervous breakdown!

 

Remus rested his hand on Severus’ and twined their fingers. So far, Severus’ reaction was rather mellow, for which he felt grateful.

 

Severus watched as Molly started to hand everyone their presents. He wasn’t surprised to find Remus was getting one as well. What did stun him was that she also handed him a small package. “You must have made a mistake,” he whispered, confused.

 

“I didn’t,” Molly said and smiled at him. She had gotten him a gift at the last moment as she hadn’t known he would participate. She’d had to improvise and promised herself to do better next year – if they lived that long.

 

While everyone else was unwrapping their present, Severus merely stared at his. Why would Molly get him something?

 

“Thank you, Molly!” Remus felt rather amused at receiving a knit sweater like the rest of the family. His was red and black and sported a lion’s claw. She must have intended it for someone else at some point as Remus knew that even Molly Weasley couldn’t knit that fast. “Aren’t you going to open yours?” he said and nudged Severus, who looked rather stunned.

 

“Are you sure you intended it for me? Maybe a mistake…”

 

“Severus Snape, open your gift and stop that!”

 

Severus cringed; apparently Molly had really intended the gift for him. But why? His hands trembled when he removed the gift wrap. Remus leaned in closer, trying to see what went hidden beneath the wrapping paper. Severus uncovered a sweater as well. His however was green – a dark emerald green and had a silver snake embroiled on the back. Severus couldn’t help himself; he chuckled. “A very Slytherin gift,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling rather uneasy, as he had no gift to give her in turn.

 

“I am glad you approve,” Molly stated happily. “I also hope you will wear it.”

 

“Maybe at home where no one can see him!” Remus said jokingly.

 

Molly however knew Remus had hit bull’s eye when Severus gave her an apologetic smile. “That’s okay, dear. I don’t mind, whatever you are comfortable with.”

 

Remus accio’ed the gift he had gotten Severus and placed it in his lap. “It’s nothing special, but I hope you will like it anyway.” The look Severus gave him told him the Potions Master would treasure whatever he had gotten him. “And yes, it is safe to open. I won’t embarrasses you.”

 

Severus nodded and slowly undid the wrapping paper. Upon uncovering his gift, Severus laughed. How in Merlin’s name had Remus come up with that? “A Tam O’ Shanter? You must be mad!” Luckily it sported black and green and it was knit, which gave it a loose feel.

 

“Well, Harry already gave you a scarf and mittens… You still needed someone to keep your head warm,” Remus chuckled lightly. “Do you like it or are you going to sneer and snarl at me for the next few weeks?”

 

“I am not,” Severus said, still chuckling because of the funny gift.

 

“Are you going to try it on?” Harry hoped Severus would say yes. Even the twins were nodding firmly. Ron however looked like he could hardly believe his eyes, but Harry was confident his friend would accept the changed Potions Master quickly enough.

 

Severus wasn’t sure he wanted to make himself that vulnerable. Surely the rest would laugh at him for wearing the silly thing!

 

“Let me try if it fits.” Remus collected the bonnet and slid it onto Severus’ hair, moving it in such a way that it covered most of the Potions Master’s head. “I think it looks good on you!”

 

“You are biased, as it is your gift,” Severus whispered, keeping his gaze carefully averted so he wouldn’t have to deal with the Weasleys laughing at him.

 

“Remus is right. It does look good on you! I will need to learn how to make those!” Molly grinned at hearing her family groan loudly. They were perfectly aware of what they would get for Christmas next year.

 

“Remus and mum are right, sir. It does suit you,” George said, keeping a perfectly straight face – not that he felt like laughing, but he knew the Potions Master would interpret his smile as bullying.

 

“That settles it. You keep it on,” Remus decided and pressed a kiss onto Severus’ cheek.

 

Severus’ eyes quickly darted through the room, panicking now that Remus had expressed his affection so openly. He wouldn’t allow the Weasleys to make fun of Remus! But to his surprise, there were merely smiles and approving nods. How odd that they would approve of Remus’ choice.

 

“This one has your name on it,” Harry said as he picked up another gift from beneath the tree and handed it to the DADA professor.

 

“That’s one of yours,” Remus said, quickly identifying it.

 

Severus nodded. He was still safe with that one. No elaborate explanation would be demanded. “Go ahead, open it.”

 

Which Remus promptly did. His hands stilled as he uncovered the teaching robes which his name embroiled on the hem. “Oh, Severus!” He unfolded the robes, got to his feet, and tried them on. They were a perfect fit. He directed a huge smile at the man he loved. “Does this mean you think I am worthy of holding that position?” He knew Severus had repeatedly expressed an interest in that position.

 

“You are – worthy that is, and no, I never wanted it. It was merely a ruse to keep the Dark Lord satisfied.” Severus hated having to bring Voldemort up in such a peaceful setting.

 

Molly nodded repeatedly as she also approved of the gift. It told everyone how much Severus valued Remus’ abilities. It was a good gift – one of the best.

 

“There is another one with your name on it, professor,” Fred said and supplied the DADA professor with the second present. He felt curious; what else could Snape have gotten Lupin?

 

Remus sat down still wearing his new robes. “Is it okay for me to open it?” Severus’ sudden unease hadn’t gone unnoticed by him.

 

Severus reminded himself that he didn’t have to explain his reasons for getting Remus that gift and nodded. He watched closely and therefore immediately noticed the surprise on Remus’ face.

 

“Winnie the Pooh?” Remus turned it about, opened it and flipped through the pages. It was definitely a children’s book and he was at a loss as to why Severus had gotten it for him. “Thanks, it will make great reading during a dreary evening.”

 

Severus would have preferred not to explain his action, but knew he had to offer some clarification. “Do you recall the day when you walked in on me? I told you that you reminded me of a character out of book I once read.” Read, not owned. It had never been his.

 

“I do.” Remus also remembered the way Severus had violently flinched upon being touched. “Do I remind you of someone in this book?”

 

“Tigger,” Severus said and took hold of the book. He opened it at the right page and showed Remus the drawing there. “I loved his character.”

 

And then someone took it away from you, Remus thought with clarity. He looked at the drawing and laughed. He couldn’t deny some resemblance, especially recalling the way he had bounced into Severus’ office that day. “I will enjoy reading it. Maybe you will even read it to me? I do love your voice.”

 

To everyone’s mirth, Severus Snape, the feared bat from the dungeons and ill-reputed Potions Master blushed to the roots of his hair. Molly however knew there was a sad story in there and wished she could somehow help soothe the hurts from the past.

 

Severus watched the rest of them exchange gifts and for the first time he could remember, he felt part of something beautiful.

 

/

 

“We should really return to Hogwarts,” Severus said after eating the lunch Molly had talked them into earlier. “We have abused your hospitality more than enough.”

 

Molly knew it would be best to let them go. Severus was bound to get edgy if he was forced to stay once Bill and Charlie joined them that evening. “Before you go… Arthur, do you have it?”

 

Arthur quickly hurried over to his wife’s side. “Here it is.” Arthur smiled and extended an arm toward Severus. “This is yours, so you know that the two of you are welcome here – always.”

 

Severus stared at the key resting in the palm of Arthur’s hand. It was merely symbolic, but he understood nonetheless. The Weasleys would adapt their wards which would then allow them access. “Thank you,” he said, picking up the symbolic key. “Thank you for everything,” he whispered softly.

 

Remus practically beamed with pride. Severus had come a long way; for him to accept the Weasleys’ gift like that meant major progress. He was about to take hold of their portkey when Severus suddenly collapsed onto the floor. “No!” he hissed, having a fairly good idea of what was happening. “I will kill that bastard with my own two hands!”

 

Severus curled up and grabbed hold of his left arm, wishing the summons had come in the privacy of his home so the Weasleys wouldn’t have to bear witness to his shame!

 

“Arthur, help me uncover the Mark,” Remus said, trying to get a good hold of Severus’ left arm, but the way the Potions Master twisted made that hard.

 

Molly stood back in order to give them space and watched – horrified—how Severus twisted his body in order to get some relief from the pain. She had never realized just how much the summons hurt!

 

Arthur moved quickly, managed to grab hold of a sleeve and pulled Severus’ left arm towards him. Molly realized her husband needed an extra pair of hands and she moved in, unbuttoning the sleeve and sliding the material up Severus’ arm. The Mark burned with malignant fire and made her gasp in surprise. She had always known it was there, but this was the first time she was confronted by it.

 

“Terminate summons!” Remus’ hatred of Voldemort grew by the second. Severus stilled and a gasp escaped the hurt wizard. “You are fine now, Severus. You are not alone. You are safe.” But when Severus opened his eyes, he saw the lingering pain in them. “We need Jeffrey,” he told Molly. “I am moving him to the sofa.”

 

“I will help,” Arthur announced and together the two of them cautiously supported the Potions Master on his way over to the sofa. After carefully lowering him onto it, Arthur backed up in order to give Severus some breathing space. He felt shocked; he had never witnessed a summoning before and only now began to realize the precarious situation Severus was in. A quick look told him that his wife was already fire calling the healers. Severus looked drained and Arthur sat down next to him, cradling his right hand within his. “I didn’t know,” he offered. “I am so sorry.”

 

Arthur’s words somehow penetrated Severus’ hazy mind. “Sorry?” he moaned. What was the man sorry for?

 

“I didn’t know how high the price was… And that you are still paying it.” A lot of Order members had never shown Severus any respect. They knew he risked his life whenever he went to Voldemort, but didn’t care. That was something Arthur intended to rectify during their next meeting.

 

Severus shook his head, though the motion merely increased the headache that was quickly building. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I brought this on myself.” Severus closed his eyes and tried to regain control. It was hard though – his body hurt and his head throbbed.

 

“Dad, what’s happening?” Fred, George, Ron, and Harry hurried into the living room. They had heard the commotion and had drawn their wands, ready to confront a possible intruder. They halted upon seeing Severus curling in up on himself – in obvious pain.

 

“You-know-who summoned him,” Molly explained as she stepped away from the fireplace. “And it hurt!”

 

Harry moved closer, wishing there was something he could do in order to alleviate Severus’ pain. He was forced to step aside though when James entered the frame and immediately headed for his patient.

 

Jeffrey had updated him and he knew Severus had been summoned twice already during the night. “Severus?” He was about to scan his patient when Severus’ body convulsed again. Spasms shook his body and he bit onto his tongue in order not to cry out.

 

Before anyone could act, Harry moved forward and placed his hands on the Dark Mark. He wanted it to stop; he wanted Voldemort to stop hurting Severus. “Stop it, damn you!” The next moment, Severus stopped trashing and looked at Harry in surprise.

 

Harry felt the flash of magic as well. Somehow, he had managed to reflect the torment and had hurled it right back at their enemy. His connection told him that Voldemort was in pain and it gave him new strength. He now had a way to get back at Voldemort!

 

“What happened just now?” James looked up in surprise.

 

“I don’t know how I did it, but I catapulted the pain right back at Voldemort!” Harry, feeling victorious, actually grinned. “How are you, sir?” Severus didn’t look like he was in pain any longer.

 

Severus stared at Harry’s hands which still rested upon the Dark Mark, “That was a most foolish thing to do. It could have back lashed on you! Don’t do it again, Harry. Your safety comes first.” Severus resigned himself to James’ probing and allowed the healer to do as he pleased.

 

“We are in this together,” Harry said with resolve he had never felt before. “And I will not allow him to hurt you like that! Now when I can stop it!”

 

Severus blinked in surprise. Harry’s protective feelings towards him baffled him.

 

“I strongly advice against traveling right now, Severus, either by floo, portkey or apparation. You need to rest first.”

 

“How long?” Severus gave James a pleading look; didn’t they understand he was endangering them by staying at the Burrow?

 

“A few hours at the very least, Severus.” James wasn’t going to give in. His patient’s health came first.

 

“You can rest upstairs. You will be more comfortable there,” Molly suggested, eager to take them back to their room. If necessary Bill could bunk up with Ron or Charlie.

 

“I can levitate you,” Remus offered, at which he received a deadly glare from Severus.

 

“I will walk!” He wasn’t going to be levitated if he could help it! Severus struggled to his feet.

 

James considered his options and stepped aside, curious to see if a Weasley family member would take his place. In the end it was Fred, who acted the fastest and curled an arm around Severus, mirroring Remus’ action. Smiling, James followed them upstairs. It also bemused him to see Molly, who continued to hover close, wand ready in case Severus would fall after all. Jeffrey had been right then; the Weasleys really had adopted Severus into the family. Which was exactly what Severus needed; more people supporting him!

 

Molly moved quickly and opened the door to Bill’s room. The three men moved inside and gently helped Severus to lie down. After that, Fred backed off, but remained at his mother’s side near the doorway. Arthur and the rest of the family – including Harry – stood just outside of the room, watching carefully. Yes, James really felt pleased.

 

“Severus, I am going to scan you. Then feed you some energy and hopefully you will fall asleep rather quickly.” James could tell Remus would have preferred to curl around Severus, but this was his job as a healer. “There is nothing you can do at the moment – not for Severus.”

 

Remus nodded; there was something else he could do though – find out how Harry had directed the summons back at Voldemort!

 

/

 

When they returned to the living room, it was only to find Jeffrey there. The younger healer was pacing and scowling. Remus couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Apart from Severus being in pain because of that monster?” Jeffrey glared at Remus, but then forced himself to calm down. Remus cared about Severus and it wouldn’t do to aim his anger at the DADA professor. Not when he wasn’t angry with him in the first place!

 

“Jeffrey,” Remus said and placed a hand on the healer’s shoulder. “I am angry too.”

 

Yes, Jeffrey could see that. “It just annoys the hell out of me that we can’t stop it!”

 

“But maybe we can!” Harry said, interrupting them. At seeing Jeffrey’s dumbfounded look, he explained, “When I touched the Mark I was able to hurl the pain right back at Voldemort!”

 

“And he hasn’t tried since,” Remus added. “It hopefully means that he didn’t count on that happening and that he isn’t eager to experience the discomfort again.”

 

That was encouraging news indeed! “I need to fire call Albus,” Jeffrey stated. “This can’t continue. Severus is already exhausted and the torture will deteriorate his health further.”

 

Torture… Molly exchanged a look with her husband. Voldemort really was torturing Severus. Until that moment, she hadn’t fully realized it. The look in her husband’s eyes told her he agreed with that statement. Until now, the Order had done little to protect Severus in spite of the fact that the spy had often retrieved valuable information. It was about time that changed.

 

Jeffrey was growing irritated. He had tried to fire call Albus, but the Headmaster wasn’t responding. “Where is he?”

 

“I will send my patronus,” Molly offered and dispatched it, asking Albus to contact them as quickly as possible. “Is there anything else we can do?”

 

“Not at the moment.” Jeffrey looked up. His father was tending to Severus, so there was no need to offer his assistance as well, which made him feel redundant. Therefore he focused on something he could help with. Looking at the Weasleys, he said, “Thank you for accepting and supporting Severus during these last few hours. Severus needs friends who are willing to stick up for him. It will take him a long time to accept that you are siding with him, though. He isn’t used to having someone on his side – except for Albus.”

 

Remus nodded. “It also took him a long time to allow me close. I doubt he fully believes I love him. Every so often, I get a look that tells me he’s expecting me to turn my back on him. It takes time, but I hope you won’t give up on him.”

 

Molly took it upon herself to reply for all family members. “We never realized the peril he is in – or de pain he has to endure. We will do anything we can in order to help him.”

 

Jeffrey sighed in relief. “Good, Severus needs friends.”

 

The next moment the fire place turned green and Albus’ head appeared in the flames. Jeffrey moved closer and gave the Headmaster a disapproving look. Rationally he knew better than to blame Albus for Severus’ suffering, but the Headmaster always made an easy target. “We need you here.”

 

“What has happened?” Albus looked on in surprise. Why was Jeffrey with the Weasleys? “Is something wrong with Harry?” He recalled that the boy had gone there for Christmas.

 

“Not Harry,” Jeffrey said, fighting for patience. “Severus.”

 

“Step aside, I am coming through,” Albus said, making his decision in a split second. If his child was in danger, he would do anything he could to protect him. A moment later, Albus stepped into the living room and brushed off the soot that had formed on his lavender colored robes. “What has happened?” The first thing he noticed was the concern etched onto the faces of everyone present. Concern for his child?

 

“Voldemort has resumed summoning Severus. He called him last night, and this morning again.”

 

Albus nodded at Jeffrey and then looked at Remus. “Did you manage to end the summons?” He had taught the DADA professor the counter spell.

 

“I did,” Remus replied. “But the summons drain him, Albus. Each time he is summoned, he grows weaker.”

 

“But I managed to get back at Voldemort!” Harry spat, still angry with the evil wizard for targeting the Potions Master.

 

“You did?” Albus’ interest was instantly piqued. “How did you do that, young man?”

 

“I touched the Mark… I was so angry with Voldemort that I wanted him to experience the same pain he was inflicting on Severus and it worked.”

 

A warm glow appeared in Albus’ eyes at hearing Harry call his child Severus. Apparently Harry had put aside any bad feelings he might have had in the past. That did bode well for their cause! “Where is Severus now?”

 

“Upstairs – Bill’s room,” Arthur supplied. “James is with him.”

 

“Good… good…” Albus carefully considered his next step. He would check on his child first and then he was going to have an indebt discussion with young Harry.

 

/

 

“Severus,” Albus whispered the name softly, as he didn’t want to disturb the younger wizard’s sleep. James had curled himself around his charge and gave Albus a thoughtful look. “How does he fare?” Albus sat down on the side of the bed, careful not to wake Severus.

 

“He has been worse,” James whispered in turn. “But these repeated attacks cause health setbacks. He doesn’t get enough time to truly recover.” James paused in order to carefully pick his next words. “Albus, you must find a way to block Voldemort from summoning Severus.”

 

Albus nodded as he had realized the same thing. In the past he would have said it was impossible to do so, but since Harry had directed the summons back at Voldemort, they might have a chance. “I will try my best,” he promised and rested his right hand on Severus’ hair. “I made so many mistakes, James. Seeing him like this serves to remind me that I sometimes tend to take the easy way out. For example, I should have lifted that concealment spell some time ago.”

 

James smiled benignly. He didn’t share Jeffrey’s often unfavorable opinion of the Headmaster. Albus Dumbledore was just a man. “We can’t change the past, Albus, but we can shape our future.”

 

“You are right; and I have a mission to complete.” Albus leaned in closer, whispered a sleeping spell to make sure Severus wouldn’t wake up any time soon and placed a loving kiss onto his child’s brow. “I am surprised Remus let you claim Severus.”

 

James chuckled. “Yes, he is rather defensive of Severus, but he also knows he isn’t a healer. Thankfully, he wants what is best for Severus. I am happy for both of them, but especially for Severus. I doubt he ever had much luck in the matters of the heart.”

 

“He never had,” Albus admitted. “Not even a fling.”

 

James’ heart went out to his charge. “At least he is having a chance at love now.”

 

“And I will do anything within my power to make Voldemort stops meddling.” Albus got to his feet again. “I have an idea… James, I need your assistance though.”

 

“What are your plans?” James wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that.

 

“I want to find out how deep Harry’s connection with Severus runs. If he can redirect the summons, he might be able to manipulate the Mark in other ways as well.”

 

“Can’t you remove it?”

 

Albus shook his head. “Only Voldemort can, as he was the one to mark him.”

 

“But if Harry is that tightly connected to Severus…”

 

“Maybe. James, I don’t want to get anyone’s hope up. I need to research the matter first.”

 

“Don’t take too long, Albus. I am not sure how much more torture Severus can take.”

 

Albus nodded. “Duly noted.” He would do his best to find a way to protect his child.

 

/

 

Bill and Charlie listened to their parents in surprise. Apparently Snape had turned into a good guy over night and their mother was actually telling them to behave and to support the Potions Master wherever they could. The fact that Lupin and Snape were an item was the next thing to rock their world.

 

“You can’t be serious,” Bill remarked while shaking his head.

 

“We are serious, Bill. Your father and I are deadly serious. No making fun of Severus. You will be civil and help him if necessary. Do we understand each other?”

 

Bill and Charlie exchanged a look and then nodded. They had little choice, knowing they would face certain consequences if their mother was displeased. “We will behave,” Charlie promised, although he had a hard time believing Snape could have changed like that. Thankfully their parents left them alone after their speech and the twins joined them. Curious, Charlie studied them. “Did mum and dad lose their minds?”

 

“I know it’s hard to understand, trust us.” Fred said. “But it is the truth. Snape isn’t the person you think he is. Just wait until you meet him; you will understand then.”

 

Since Bill and Charlie had no choice, they agreed. “What is this nonsense of me having to move in with Charlie for the holidays?” Bill asked.

 

“Mum gave Remus and Severus your room. They stayed the night and needed a place to sleep. After you-know-who attacked Snape this morning, they needed some privacy, so mum sent them back up there,” Fred explained.

 

“I don’t know you this serious,” Bill remarked. Normally the twins were up to no good.

 

“We have reasons to pick Snape’s side. We learned that he isn’t a bastard. He is a very decent wizard and if you give him a chance, you will realize the same thing.”

 

“Now you made me curious,” Charlie admitted. Bill nodded and Charlie realized they were going to find out one way or another.

 

/

 

James ignored his son’s worried look for the moment and addressed Remus instead. “Maybe you’d like to take my place for a while?” He had tended to Severus the best he could and reckoned some tender, loving care from Remus would benefit Severus.

 

“Of course!”

 

Amused, James watched Remus practically bounce upstairs. “Someone’s happy,” he commented jokingly.

 

Jeffrey made his way over to his father. “How is he doing?”

 

James suddenly realized the crowd which had gathered in the living room. Bill and Charlie had joined them and the rest of the Weasleys were present as well. Then there was Harry and Albus. They would make an impressive support system, and Hippocrates knew Severus needed one! “Resting. I healed the damage for now, but Albus, it is imperative the summons stop!” 

 

“I am working on it,” Albus assured the healer.

 

“Care to share your ideas?” James wanted a bit more reassurance than that.

 

“Not yet. I would like to discuss them with Harry first.”

 

Harry looked up in surprise. “With me?” He followed Albus into a corner of the room, where the Headmaster sat down. “How can I help?” He took a seat next to Dumbledore, fervently hoping he could make a difference. After everything Severus had done for him, he would love to do something in return.

 

“I have been thinking about your ability to reflect the pain of the summons back at Voldemort. It never crossed my mind that you would be able to control or manipulate the Mark.”

 

“It never occurred to me either.” A quick look told Harry that the others were keeping their distance, giving them some privacy. “What do you want me to do?”

 

“Nothing right now… We must wait until Severus has rested.”

 

“And then what, professor?” Harry inched forward on his seat.

 

“Then I want you to go into the kitchen. I want you to concentrate on summoning Severus to your side. Just will him to come to you, but be gentle about it. Am I right to assume that you have grown to care about him?” Harry nodded, confirming his suspicion. “Then be as gentle as you can. Lure him, ensnare his senses,” Albus added, recalling Severus always used that one during his first lesson with the first years. “Do you understand what I want you to do?”

 

“I do. Do you think it will work? And what will it prove? I don’t want to hurt him accidentally.”

 

Albus decided to put his trust in the boy – after all, his child’s life might be at stake. “If you can control the Dark Mark, we might eventually find a way for you to remove it.”

 

Harry’s eyes widened with excitement. “That would be great, sir, if I were able to do so.”

 

“In the meantime, Remus and I know the counter spell, so we can end the summons rather quickly. James and Jeffrey know the spell too, so Severus has several resources at his disposal, but what I am worried about is that Voldemort will change tactics. He might find a way to send pain through the Mark which has nothing to do with the summons.”

 

Again, harry understood. “I will do whatever I can.”

 

“I will stay with Severus while you work your magic in the kitchen,” Albus said and winked at Harry. “There is no need to tell anyone about our plan, Harry. We would only disappoint them if it fails.”

 

Again, Harry understood Albus’ reasoning. “I will stay quiet, but if it works, we will tell them?”

 

“Oh yes,” Albus admitted. “I don’t want to find the combined force of James and Jeffrey Barnes against me. They take their profession very seriously.”

 

“As they should!” Harry stated firmly.

 

“You are right, my boy, of course you are!” Pleased with the outcome of their conversation Albus relaxed into the chair. Hopefully his plan would work!

 

/

 

Severus reluctantly opened his eyes, but forced himself to focus upon realizing Remus was holding him. He turned his head slightly and managed a smile. “Hullo…” Was it evening? Or still afternoon? Had he slept through Christmas day?

 

“Evening,” Remus said, reading the question in Severus’ eyes. “You slept for almost eight hours.”

 

“I reckon James has something to do with that,” Severus commented, stretching carefully.

 

“And Albus. He used a spell to put you to sleep.”

 

“He’s here?” Severus hadn’t expected that. “I ruined his holidays then.” A dark cloud of depression enfolded him.

 

“No, you did nothing of the kind. You know how much he loves you.” Remus kissed Severus’ brow. “How are you feeling? Better? Do you remember what happened?”

 

Severus elbowed himself into a more upright position and leaned against Remus when the other wizard offered to support him. Once he was comfortable, he considered Remus’ question. “I remember being summoned – again.” How could he ever forget the pain?

 

“And then?”

 

Severus frowned; that part was harder to remember. “I don’t know for sure. You cancelled the summons?” At least, that was how it had happened in the past.

 

“Actually Harry did. He placed his hand on the Mark and directed the pain you were feeling back to Voldemort. The summons stopped at once and he hasn’t tried summoning you since.” Remus carefully monitored Severus’ reaction to that news. Severus’ eyes widened, telling Remus his memories were coming back.

 

“That foolish boy! He endangered himself!” Severus sighed deeply and shook his head. “He could have been caught in the backlash! You should have stopped him!”

 

“Harry acted too fast for that. He was so angry with Voldemort for hurting you! I don’t think he thought his actions through – he merely acted.”

 

Severus closed his eyes again. “You need to keep a close eye on him, Remus. The next time he tries something like that, you must stop him!”

 

“I doubt anyone can stop Harry when he’s set on doing something. You know what he is like.”

 

Severus nodded; he did. “Still, he shouldn’t be allowed to endanger himself like that. I will tell him myself.”

 

Remus chuckled softly, which caused Severus to open his eyes. “And you believe that will make a difference? Severus, he is determined to protect you. Nothing you say or do will change that!”

 

“In that case we must leave now! Put some distance between us. That way he can’t act when I am summoned!” Severus tried to get to his feet, but vertigo stopped him. He cradled his head in his hands and peeked at Remus. “What’s wrong with me?”

 

“Apart from being regularly tortured? James and Jeffrey believe you are not healing because Voldemort keeps summoning you. It sets you back each time you make progress. Severus, I honestly believe you should stay off your feet.”

 

“I can’t,” Severus said with as much determination as he could muster. “I need to talk some sense into that boy. And I can’t do that lying down. I need to get moving again.”

 

Remus knew Severus well enough to know the Potions Master would continue to pester him about it. “How about we compromise?” As expected, Severus didn’t reply yet and wanted to hear what he was offering first. “How about I help you downstairs so you can talk to Harry?”

 

“What’s the catch?” Severus narrowed his eyes.

 

Remus chuckled. “I want you off your feet. I will move you to the sofa and that’s where you will stay until either James or Jeffrey declare you fit enough to move about.”

 

“And then we will move back to Hogwarts?”

 

Remus now knew why that was so important to Severus; that way, Harry wouldn’t be able to help. “That depends on the healers’ judgment again.” That would take the decision out of his hands; Severus might like that, thinking he could convince the healers to let him go.

 

“It’s acceptable. Now help me to my feet! I need to talk to Potter!”

 

Remus knew the so-called frustration for what it was; worry. Severus worried about Harry; that was something that would never change. “Behave yourself,” he told Severus as he slid off the bed and wrapped his arms around the other wizard. “Careful, let’s see if gravity is agreeable with you.” Severus snorted at that, which made him chuckle louder.

 

Severus was grateful that Remus was helping, but at the same time, everything was moving much too slowly. He wrapped an arm around Remus in turn as the vertigo returned. Voldemort really had done a number on him this time. “Downstairs, now.”

 

“I can levitate you,” Remus offered, but he already knew the answer to that.

 

“Not in a million years! I will walk!” Having to resort to levitation would award Voldemort victory too easily!

 

“Slow down!” Remus halted when Severus tried to move too quickly. “I don’t want you falling down the stairs!” Severus muttered something beneath his breath, but did move slower.

 

“Ah, there you are! Careful though!” James moved up the stairs, just in case Severus would take a fall. That way he could still catch his patient. “I knew you wouldn’t stay put for long.”

 

“I need to talk to that boy!” Severus gritted his teeth when the world started to spin even worse. Just what had Voldemort done to him?

 

“Let me help.” James quickly wrapped an arm around his patient and helped Remus to get him downstairs. “Sofa, now,” he said decisively.

 

At that point, Severus was too busy placing one foot in front of the other without stumbling, and so he never noticed Bill’s and Charlie’s curious looks. The two young men hadn’t seen the ‘rejuvenated’ Potions Master yet and it took them a moment to realize just who was making his way into the living room. “That’s Snape?” Bill whispered to Ron.

 

Ron nodded. “That’s Snape all right.”

 

Bill blinked and exchanged a look with Charlie. The twins hadn’t been kidding when they had said things had changed!

 

Severus actually felt relieved sitting down. The vertigo slowly went away and he was able to focus again. He didn’t have to search for Harry; the boy was already hurrying over to his side and beat Remus to the best spot on the sofa – right next to him.

 

“How are you, sir? Are you feeling any better? We worried about you!” Harry was relieved to see the older wizard up and about again, but the man’s paleness worried him. He reached for Severus’ hand and cradled it within his own.

 

“Harry, we need to talk.” Severus prepared himself for the tricks Harry might pull – like that look he was capable off. It reminded him too much of the way Lily had looked at him when she had wanted him to comply.

 

“What about?” Not realizing what he was doing, Harry stroked the back of the older man’s hand.

 

That touch was unexpected and the caress itself nearly rendered him speechless. Harry shouldn’t care that much about him! “You can’t endanger yourself like that, Harry,” he said, after composing himself. “Voldemort now knows what you are capable of and the next time, he will be prepared. You might end up hurt instead.” He had to make the boy see reason!

 

“But James and Jeffrey are here, and so is the Headmaster! I don’t mind taking that risk!”

 

“But I do, Harry.” Severus knew he had to come up with a more convincing reason for Harry to stop from getting involved again. “I care about you,” he whispered, turning his hand until he could run his fingers over Harry’s palm. “And I don’t want you to get hurt. Not because of me.”

 

Harry briefly bit onto his bottom lip. “You are worth it.”

 

James held his breath at hearing that. Harry was about to broach some very unstable territory.

 

“I am not. Harry, you know what I did. You know about my crimes. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me, don’t you understand?” Severus’ voice had gained a pleading tone.

 

“And when, sir, will you understand that you are worth fighting for?” Harry frowned and made his decision. “Severus,” he said and felt the older wizard flinch, “You are worth it. If you are not worth fighting for, then who is? You saved my life how many times? You saved Remus as well, and we are not even talking about the lives you helped safe because you spied on Voldemort!”

 

James silently applauded Harry; his son’s moist eyes told him that Jeffrey also understood why this was important. Why Severus had to hear this – repeatedly if possible!

 

“Harry…” But Severus was lost for words. The only thing he could do was repeat his former statement, but he was quite sure Harry would also react in the same way – and repeat his words as well. Apparently they had reached a stall mate and he needed time to think! His mouth was dry and his throat was starting to hurt. “Can I have some water?” It was more than a distraction – he really was thirsty.

 

Again, Harry beat everyone by taking action. He also realized it gave him a perfect reason to head for the kitchen. “I will get you some!” He carefully placed Severus’ hand back in his lap, and while giving Dumbledore a conspiring look, vanished into the kitchen.

 

Harry sat down on a kitchen chair and closed his eyes, finding it easier to concentrate that way. He must have stayed like that for too long because suddenly Molly entered the kitchen.

 

“I thought you were getting Severus some water?” Molly reached for a glass and water.

 

“Sorry,” Harry said, “But everything hit me all at once and I needed a moment. Don’t tell them though or they will rush in.”

 

“That’s fine with me, dear. A lot has happened, you are right about that. Take the time you need.”

 

Harry was relieved when she left and started to concentrate, trying to exactly remember what Dumbledore had said; to call Severus gently – without pain, luring him. Could he do such a thing? And how would Severus react, should he succeed? Well, he could worry about that later. First he had to find out if he possessed the particular ability. Severus, can you come to me? I need you. Can you come to the kitchen… Please? I am waiting for you. Do come – please. Hopefully adding the please would make the summons easier on Severus. Hopefully there would be no pain.

 

/

 

Remus, who was sitting next to Severus, noticed the startled gasp first. Seeing the glass in Severus’ hand sway, he quickly caught it and placed it aside. “Severus?” The Potions Master didn’t seem to be in pain – thankfully – but he was staring ahead in a worrying way. “Severus?”

 

Albus, who had been studying Severus, felt thrilled. Would his gamble really work?

 

“I need to leave… Harry needs me…” Severus practically jumped up from the sofa, but the vertigo made him stagger. Remus immediately steadied him and James offered his help as well. Severus barely noticed their presence. “Need to go to Harry, now!” The need to check on the boy was all consuming. His Mark tingled, but it was nothing compared to Voldemort summoning him. The tingling was warm and inviting.

 

“Let’s move you into the kitchen then, where you can see that Harry is just fine.” James nodded at Remus and the two of them maneuvered the Potions Master into the kitchen. Albus followed at once, and once inside the kitchen made eye contact with Harry, who looked pleased and worried at the same time. “You can stop,” he mouthed, careful not to say the words aloud. But Harry easily caught on and stopped the call.

 

Severus blinked and wondered what he was doing in the kitchen. Ah yes, Harry – he’d had to see the boy at once. Harry was comfortably seated at the kitchen table and looked uninjured. What had happened just now? What had prompt him to come in here?

 

“As you can see Harry is perfectly fine, child,” Albus said, taking charge. “I suggest you let Remus and James take you back to your comfortable sofa.”

 

Severus, who still felt rather weak in the knees, nodded. “Are you fine, Harry?”

 

“Never been better!” Harry was thrilled. Apparently Dumbledore’s plan had worked! Hopefully that meant they would be able to remove the Dark Mark – rather sooner than later! Harry got his feet as well, under the impression Severus might comply easier if he accompanied the Potions Master. “Just needed a moment.”

 

Severus nodded; that was something he understood very well. Now the urgency to check on Harry had left, he allowed Remus and James to take him back.

 

“A word, Albus,” Jeffrey said and stopped the Headmaster from disappearing. “What happened just now?” He had learned to read Dumbledore some time ago and knew something was up.

 

Albus made sure the others had left the kitchen and cast a silence charm just to make sure none of the Weasley boys would eavesdrop on them. “I am working on this theory.”

 

“Go on,” Jeffrey said, not letting Albus out of his eye.

 

“It was Harry’s blood that made Voldemort’s rebirth possible, which means that the two are connected on a much deeper level than most think. I asked Harry to summon Severus to his side – gently, as only Harry can. You know that he has grown fond of my child?” After Jeffrey nodded, Albus added, “And it worked. You watched Severus’ reaction.”

 

Jeffrey’s eyes narrowed; he didn’t like Albus manipulating Harry. “But Severus didn’t seem to be in any pain.”

 

“Exactly!” Albus nodded firmly. “Harry can use the Mark the same way Voldemort uses it, but with some differences. If Harry has such control over that Mark, he might also be able to dissolve it- hence giving Severus back his freedom.”

 

“Interesting theory,” Jeffrey hated to admit it, but Albus might be on to something. The most important thing to him however was that Albus wouldn’t add to Severus’ suffering by researching his theory. “What is your next step?”

 

Albus cocked his head. “Actually, I would like your advice on something.”

 

Jeffrey instantly grew alert now that he was given a chance to influence the Headmaster’s decision making. “What about?”

 

“Severus seems rather comfortable here. I hadn’t expected him to feel at ease at the Burrow, surrounded by the Weasleys.”

 

Jeffrey agreed. “I know what you mean. Severus felt rather ill at ease when he first arrived, but when he realized that the Weasleys accepted his presence, he relaxed. Molly especially seems to have taken to mothering Severus. The twins are rather protective of him as well. Such a support system – a family – might be just what Severus needs.” Jeffrey considered his next words carefully as he didn’t want to unwillingly hurt Albus’ feelings. “He loves you, Albus, and I know you love him as a son, but he needs more than that. Remus is slowly gaining his confidence and so are the Weasleys. And then there is Harry. I might be mistaken but Harry might be about to adopt Severus as his godfather. Severus needs a big family like this, Albus. For the first time in his life he is experiencing family life. If only Voldemort would butt out!”

 

Albus wasn’t so selfish that to wanted to keep Severus to himself. He wanted what was best for his child. “I reckon I know the answer to my original question then.”

 

“Which was?”

 

“Should I send Severus and Remus back to Hogwarts? Or should they stay at the Burrow?”

 

“I would prefer for them to stay a little longer. Let Severus experience what it is like to be part of something big. Once he returns to Hogwarts, his contact will be limited to Remus and you. Here he can learn how to function inside something bigger. He needs that – even if it frightens him on some level.”

 

Albus knew Jeffrey was right. “I will check on Severus regularly. In the meantime I will search the library at Hogwarts; there must be a way to remove the Mark.” Maybe Lila could help him!

 

“I do hope so, Albus, for I don’t know how much more Severus can take. This has been going on for too long. The only good thing coming out of this is Harry’s growing fondness of him and the Weasleys’ acceptance.”

 

“Yes. He was isolated for much too long.” Albus found it easy to make his decision. “I will ask Molly and Arthur if they are willing to keep Severus and Remus a little longer. I will return to Hogwarts myself, but before doing so, I will strengthen the wards guarding the Burrow.”

 

Jeffrey was eager to agree. “The best decision you could make.”

 

Albus felt absurdly pleased at hearing the praise. “Well, Jeffrey, it seems we have grown into responsible parents after all!” Jeffrey burst out laughing and Albus chuckled along as well.

 

/

 

When Albus stepped back into the living room, Severus was sound asleep again. Remus had curled around him and Severus rested comfortably against him. Albus smiled because Severus hadn’t bullied Remus into taking him back upstairs. “Molly, Arthur, I want to ask you something.” He sat down opposite the couple and tried to ignore the fact that everyone was looking at him.

 

“Do you need privacy?” Molly asked, ready to shoo the children out of the room.

 

“No, they can hear it. Actually, they may want to say something about it too.” Albus would only let Severus stay if the family as a whole accepted his child.

 

Fred and George, growing curious, shifted closer on their sofa. This could only be about Snape!

 

“What is it, Albus?” Molly was growing impatient now that Albus had taken to studying Severus.

 

After making completely sure that Severus was indeed asleep, Albus proceeded. “I would be grateful if Severus and Remus can stay with you for the next few days. I will be searching the library at Hogwarts and won’t be around much. Remus has his hands full…”

 

Remus grinned and placed a kiss onto Severus’ head – yes, his hand were full off sleeping Potions Master all right! He was glad to hear Albus make that particular request, for he felt the Burrow was the right place for Severus to be at that moment.

 

“He’s welcome, Albus! Both of them are!” Molly shook her head. “You needn’t ask!”

 

“And how about you? You never asked for these intruders to your home.” Albus looked at their offspring. Ron was the first to reply.

 

“I know that Harry wants him to stay, so as far as I am concerned, it’s fine.”

 

“That’s good to hear, Ron, thank you,” Remus mumbled, butting in.

 

“Snape is a better bloke than we thought,” Fred replied, answering for George as well. “He will probably throw a tantrum should he ever hear us say it, but we kind of like him.”

 

“Thank you,” Albus said and looked at Bill and Charlie. “Can you accept this as well?”

 

“It’s odd,” Bill said. “He looks different – he acts different. It’s hard, maybe even impossible to think of him as the evil bat of the dungeons any longer. What do you think, Charlie?”

 

Charlie nodded. “I don’t mind them staying at the Burrow.” He was still trying to come to terms with the fact that his former teacher had been acting all that time.

 

“Still not convinced?” Molly crossed her arms and gave Albus a challenging look. “I already told Severus he’s welcome here – repeatedly.”

 

“And that’s exactly what he needs to hear,” James interrupted them. “Molly, Jeffrey and I will be heading home. Floo call us if something happens, or if you need a hand.”

 

Molly nodded. “I can handle him, but I will keep it in mind.” She watched the healers leave and then focused on Albus. The Headmaster got to his feet, made his way over to Severus and placed a tender kiss onto the dark hair.

 

“I will see you soon,” Albus promised and then apparated to Hogwarts, leaving Remus to take care of Severus.

 

“Finally some peace and quiet!” Molly announced, at which everyone in the room started to chuckle. “Ah, well, you are right. Peace and quiet is too much to ask for, but listen to me, boys. You won’t pull any pranks on Severus. Promise me that?” One after another she gave them THE look, at which they quickly nodded. “Now that that is settled, it is time to prepare Christmas dinner. We are running hopelessly late!”

 

Remus watched as mayhem unfolded after Molly’s statement and was looking forward to Christmas dinner with the Weasleys.

 

/

 

Severus started to wake up and noticed the amount of noise surrounding him. There were at least seven different voices and didn’t that sound like Harry? The smells in the air made him sniff appreciatively. Whatever dream he was having, he was fine with it. As long as Voldemort stayed out of his dreamscape, he would manage.

 

“Severus? Your timing is impeccable. That should please you.”

 

That was definitely Remus. Severus cautiously opened his eyes and blinked upon finding Remus hovering over him. Why was he lying down? Oh, had he been sleeping? His dream had ended?

 

“I don’t think I have ever seen that particular look in your eyes before,” Remus remarked thoughtfully. “Is something wrong?”

 

Severus decided that laying down was to his disadvantage and struggled into an upright position. He swung his feet onto the floor and bit back a groan because his head objected to the sudden movement. So he waited for the vertigo to pass.

 

“Too fast?” Remus rested his hand on Severus’ back and rubbed the skin beneath the shirt, hoping to sooth the Potions Master that way. He was perfectly fine with staying at the Burrow, but at the same time he regretted the loss of privacy. “How do you feel?”

 

“Tired.” Which was a contradiction. “How long have I been asleep?”

 

“Not that long, just under an hour. Molly got dinner ready so I am happy you woke by yourself.” He hadn’t been looking forward to waking Severus, never sure what kind of response he would get. “Are you hungry? Even a little bit?”

 

Severus slowly nodded. Actually, now that he focused on it, his stomach felt terribly empty. He struggled to remember what had happened last. Had it something to do with Harry? Ah yes, he had felt compelled to check on the boy and had headed for the kitchen – with help. He hated how weak he was.

 

“Then we should head for the food.” Severus’ silence didn’t sit well with Remus. He would feel more at ease with Severus talking or even sneering. This silence was unnerving. “What’s wrong, love?” The approach had worked before and Remus tried again. It seemed to work as Severus raised his head and gave him a look filled with what Remus could only label as shame.

 

“I am useless. All I do is sleep. I can’t help – I can’t do anything.”

 

Ah, Remus, was relieved that Severus was talking again. Now that he knew what the problem was, he might be able to remedy it. “You are not useless, Severus. Voldemort targeted you and it is only normal that you are still recovering from those attacks.”

 

Severus wasn’t convinced though. “Even Albus had to interrupt his break in order to check on me.”

 

“Albus worried about you, and it is only normal for him to check on you. He loves you!” Remus wished he could do away with Severus’ insecurity for once and for all, but that was wishful thinking. “Come on, let’s eat. Molly is about to head over here and I am sure you want to avoid being collected by her.” Again, the strategy worked and Severus struggled to his feet.

 

I really need to take a bath, Severus noticed as he moved toward the dining table. Molly was giving him expectant looks, but so far, she was letting him make his way over there in his own pace. Why were they still at the Burrow to begin with? “Where’s Albus?” he asked, suddenly realizing his mentor’s absence.

 

“Albus decided to return to Hogwarts. He wanted to research something.” And that was all Molly was going to say about it. “Sit down, Severus. I am ready to serve dinner and you need to eat a decent amount of food.”

 

Looking around, Severus realized he was seated between Arthur and Remus. That helped him relax. The chicken soup smelled good and he hoped she hadn’t made it just for him, but a quick look around told him everyone had chicken soup and seemed fine with it. Somewhat reassured, Severus picked up the spoon and started eating. That Voldemort had stopped summoning him surprised him.

 

“Do you want some more?” Fred asked his former teacher. “We have more than enough left.”

 

“No, thank you.” The soup had warmed him and filled him up nicely. Knowing Molly the way he did, he reckoned she had more food ready for him. He didn’t want to risk her wrath by being unable to eat it. Thankfully the rest of the party chatted during the meal with Remus happily joining in. It gave Severus a chance to sort out his thoughts.

 

“You are welcome to stay as long as you’d like, but I do hope you will stay at the Burrow until the New Year!”

 

Alarmed, Severus focused on Molly. What did she say just now? “We can’t possibly intrude for that long!”

 

Molly gave him a stern look. “Severus, back at Hogwarts, it will just be Remus and you. What if something happens to him? You will have no one to fall back on.”

 

Fall back on? “I can take care of myself!”

 

“Yes, I can see so right now.” Molly kept any annoyance out of her voice and made sure she sounded worried instead. “It finally gives me a chance to mother you!”

 

Severus blinked and then shook his head. Only Molly Weasley could ever possibly want to mother him. His own mother had never done so. He’d had to survive on his own.

 

Molly noticed Severus’ silence but didn’t comment on it. Instead, she served the baked potatoes, steak and greens. “Eat,” she told him. “I won’t be mad if you can’t finish it, but I expect you to eat half of it.”

 

Severus couldn’t believe it. She WAS mothering him! “I will try.”

 

“Shall we play charades later?” Arthur asked his family. “I do love charades!”

 

Severus wished Albus had taken him back to Hogwarts with him. Charades? This would be the death of him! Surely they couldn’t be serious!

 

/

 

Severus wondered about the dimension he had landed in. What had happened to common sense? And why wasn’t he getting out of the situation he found himself in?

 

Everyone had made himself comfortable in the living room after eating a chocolaty dessert. Even Severus had managed most of it. It also threatened to send him right back into sleep. The amount of sugar he had consumed was making him sleepy. That was one reason why he seldom indulged himself in that way. Remus had pulled him against his chest and his fingers idly played with his dark hair. It amazed him that he was actually allowing the caress. In the past he would have moved away, unwilling to let anyone see such a side to him. But for some reason he could live with the fact that the Weasleys knew it was there.

 

“Relax, Severus, the Weasleys aren’t going to kill you.” Remus wished Severus would finally let go. The entire evening Severus had been on guard, as if expecting the worst. Well, maybe not from the Weasleys, but Voldemort, he realized. The threat of torture continued to hang over Severus’ head and he couldn’t actually do something to protect the Potions Master from the summons, except terminate the spell. What did it feel like, he wondered, having to live like that? “We can go upstairs if you would rather have some privacy.”

 

“In a bit,” Severus said, relieved. “I don’t want to appear running away.”

 

“That’s fine with me. Just tell me when you want to go,” Remus whispered into Severus’ ear before kissing the dark head.

 

Severus turned quiet after that and waited until leaving the Weasleys Christmas party might be deemed acceptable. “Maybe now?”

 

Remus was fine with that. “Let me get to my feet first so I can help you up.”

 

“I can manage just fine!” Severus hoped he wasn’t overestimating his strength. The last thing he wanted was to stumble and land face first on the floor! He would then be the laughing stock for sure!

 

Molly watched him struggle, but didn’t get involved. She was rather taken with the fact that he had stayed that long. She had expected him to excuse himself right after dinner. It was midnight and Severus had a valid reason to excuse himself. He did look exhausted. Molly was rather relieved Voldemort hadn’t tried summoning Severus again—ever since Harry had acted, the evil wizard had remained passive. Maybe Harry’s action had gotten the message across? She certainly hoped so. “Sleep tight, Severus, Remus. Don’t bother getting up early tomorrow. We will all sleep in.”

 

“Thanks for everything, Molly… The food, letting us stay…” Severus still felt like abusing her hospitality.

 

And Molly sensed it. “Severus,” she said and moved closer. “When will you finally understand that you are welcome here?” She wrapped her arms around him like she would hug one of her sons and pulled him close. “We like you… We care about you… And it is not just me who wants you here. The whole family does.”

 

Severus was afraid to believe it. “Thanks anyway, Molly.” His heart missed a beat when she suddenly crushed him to her chest. It was getting hard to breathe!

 

“I will see you in the morning. Do try to get some sleep, Severus, you need it.” She released him, and noted with some bemusement, that he was blushing.

 

Remus had noticed the same thing and smiled at the Potions Master. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.” They would have some privacy at last. He could only hope Severus wouldn’t fall asleep right away!

 

/

 

“Comfortable?” Remus slid between the covers and lay down on his side, so he could watch Severus, who had been extremely accommodating while getting ready for bed.

 

“I am fine.” Severus felt shy. He would feel even better with Remus’ arms wrapped around him, but he felt too timid to ask for it. Thankfully for him, he didn’t have to. Remus moved closer, opened his arms and rolled him toward him.

 

“That’s better, don’t you think?” Remus stroked some stray strands of hair away from Severus’ face.

 

“Yes,” Severus groaned, suddenly feeling breathless. Why did Remus have this effect on him?

 

“You need to sleep. Molly was right about that. Try to dream of something nice, love.” Remus hoped he wasn’t misinterpreting the situation as he turned his head toward Severus to catch those lips in a kiss.

 

Severus’ heart thundered wildly in his chest. Remus’ lips pressed against his made him anxious. He didn’t how to act, what to do. What would Remus expect from him?

 

“Relax,” Remus whispered against Severus’ lips. “This isn’t a test. It is just a kiss.” But he understood why Severus had tensed up. This was probably his first kiss ever. That thought momentarily saddened him, but then it encouraged him to kiss Severus again. His tongue nudged against Severus’ lips and teeth, hinting at what he wanted, and Severus caught on, allowing him entry. Remus moaned in pleasure.

 

Severus closed his eyes and let Remus take the lead. As he had no experience in the matter, he judged it wise to let Remus set the pace.

 

Remus reluctantly ended the kiss as he didn’t want to overdo it. Small steps, he reminded himself once more. “You taste of more,” he whispered and smiled at seeing Severus turn even more timid. “But you need to sleep now.”

 

Severus nodded. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that kiss. He might have enjoyed it more if he had been less tense. But he must have done something good, for Remus seemed to be staying. He closed his eyes, rested his head against Remus’ shoulder and let out the breath he had been holding. Remus’ hand drew small circles on his back, and the gesture soothed him, eventually causing him to fall asleep.

 

Remus stayed awake a little longer, enjoying being able to watch Severus sleep; his features finally relaxed.

 

/

 

Severus was first to wake up the next morning. Sunbeams falling into the room told him it was later than he had liked. The sun did rise late in winter in these parts. Next he grew aware of the arms wrapped around him, the hair moving against his shoulder and the gentle raise and fall of Remus’ chest. The other wizard was still asleep then. Reverently Severus touched Remus’ face, gently running his fingertips along the jaw. What was it about Remus that touched his heart? A heart, which he had believed long dead? How did Remus get past his defenses? How did Remus do away with his fear, considering he’d had panic attacks about that night in the shed for a long time? Why was it Remus, the one who had scared him most at one point, who had become the one he loved?

 

Severus snorted softly. Assuming he was still capable of love. He wasn’t quite sure of it. He had never loved before – Lily and he had been friends, but he had never been in love with her. He had always known he preferred men. Was he still capable of love? Remus obviously thought he was, why else start this?

 

“I have no idea what you are thinking, Severus, but it can’t be good.”

 

Severus’ breath hitched. He hadn’t realized Remus had woken up. Immediately he made to remove his hand, as he didn’t want to seem trespassing. After all Remus hadn’t asked to be touched. “I am sorry,” he whispered, quickly slipping his arm beneath the duvet; he felt caught.

 

“There is no reason to apologize. If anything, I would like for you to continue what you were doing.” Remus located the hand Severus had just pulled away, twined their fingers, and guided it back to his face. “I like it when you touch me.” Severus looked like he was about to have a panic attack; Remus hoped he was mistaken though.

 

“I wasn’t sure you would…” What? Like his touch? Tolerate it?

 

“Enjoy it?” Remus finished. “Savor it? Crave it? Want more of it? Let me assure you that the answer to all of those questions is yes.” Remus placed Severus’ hand against his cheek and then released it. “Please?”

 

Severus’ nervousness increased, as he allowed his fingers to caress Remus’ cheek again. He then slid his fingers into the brown hair and played with the strands. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” It was beyond him how Remus could possibly enjoy his touch!

 

Instead of answering Severus verbally, Remus kissed him on the lips. He slipped a hand behind the Potions Master’s head and cradled it gently.

 

Severus’ heart started to thud loudly again. Maybe Remus was fine with being touched like that? Considering he had reacted by kissing him? Allowing himself the illusion to believe love had found him, Severus closed his eyes and concentrated his senses on the kiss, trying to feel, touch, smell and feel Remus’ lips.

 

Remus shifted on the bed and rolled Severus on top of him. Looking at his lover, Remus smiled at finding Severus had closed his eyes. Remus moaned, trying to signal the other wizard how much he was enjoying this, and the brown eyes opened to look at him questioningly. Remus merely smiled back and started another amorous attack on Severus’ bruising lips. He was growing hard, and he wasn’t the only one facing that predicament. Severus was aroused too and his length pressed against his groin. It made him want to banish their clothes and make love to Severus right there and then, but he also realized Severus would probably have a very real panic attack if he went ahead with that plan! Small steps…

 

Severus felt anxious now that his body was beginning to react to their kissing. He was quickly growing aroused and the rush that came with it, stunned him. Hadn’t he felt so damn insecure, he might have instigated the next step. But as it was, he worried instead; he wasn’t putting Remus off, was he? Remus sighed, smiled at him, and stroked some wayward dark strands behind his ears. The act was strangely intimate.

 

“You can wake me like that every morning, Severus. I am enjoying this,” Remus thought it best to let Severus know what was going on. He had the feeling that as long they kept talking they would be all right. “Are you enjoying yourself too?”

 

Severus nodded tentatively. “I…” He wavered, but he knew he had to say this now. “I have never done this before.” Remus had probably already guessed as much, but it was best to actually say the words. “No one ever was interested in me,” he added, feeling the need to explain. “You are the first to…”

 

Remus’ heart broke – painfully at that. “I am sorry, Severus. But they were idiots.” He had to say something to turn the mood around or they would end up depressed. “Thanks for giving this a chance. I know this can’t be easy on you, but I want this, love. I want a chance with you. I want to love you – I want to hold you, caress you, protect you, kiss you, and when the time is right make love with you.” His declaration of love worked; Severus blushed at hearing those last words.

 

“You really want that? That last bit?” Severus wondered if Remus minded he was still a virgin. He had no experience in bed.

 

“I do, and we will make it special.” Remus studied his lover for a moment, and then added, “I think of it as a privilege, you know, being your first lover. That’s rather special, Severus. Makes me feel special as well.” Now that he had broached that particular topic, he hoped Severus would feel more comfortable discussing it.

 

Severus felt awkward. “I don’t have any experience between the sheets, Remus. I am not sure I can make you feel good…”

 

“First times are always like that. The first time we make love will be nerve-wrecking for me as well. I will worry about doing everything right. About not going to fast, or slow, about pleasing you or pissing you off.”

 

That last bit was so unexpected that Severus had to chuckle. “There is very little you could do that could piss me off.”

 

“That’s good to know.” Remus considered continuing their discussion as Severus was in such an agreeable mood, but when his lover’s stomach growled loudly, he reconsidered. “Breakfast first?”

 

With his stomach agreeing so obviously, there was little Severus could do. “Breakfast first.”

 

/

 

Severus was surprised to find the house empty, except for James Barnes and Harry, who were having tea in the kitchen. While making his way over to them, he looked about in wonder. “Did I miss something?” Remus appeared at his side, and gestured for him to sit down, which Severus promptly did.

 

James carefully studied Severus and decided he liked what he saw. Severus looked rested, but he had to make sure. Reaching out, he placed a hand on the Potions Master’s shoulder and scanned him.

 

Severus gave the healer a knowing look, but didn’t say anything. If anything, the past had told him that James would go to great lengths to make sure he was fine.

 

“No, you didn’t miss anything,” James said, once he was scanning his patient. “The whole family left in order to visit Molly’s parents. They will be back shortly. That’s why she told you two to sleep in late.”

 

“This is late,” Severus stated dryly.

 

“It’s only ten in the morning, Severus. You could have easily slept one or two extra hours.” But his scan told him Severus was fine – for now, and so he removed his hand after squeezing the shoulder for good measure.

 

“I volunteered to baby sit,” Harry suddenly remarked, smiling warmly.

 

“Don’t worry, I had already arrived. Molly wouldn’t have allowed it anyways,” James said quickly, seeing Severus was about to comment.

 

“Still, leaving Harry behind, with only you to watch him, is risky. I mean no offence, James, but you can hardly defend him in case of a Death Eaters’ attack.”

 

“Well, Remus and you are here too. What better champions can the boy have?” James shot back.

 

Severus knew better than to get into an argument with the healer and accepted the cup of hot, sweet tea Remus handed him. He blew onto the surface and picked at the sweet bread roll which Remus had also handed him.

 

“You look rested, Severus,” James probed as Remus took a seat as well. He noticed the way the DADA professor hummed, approving his observation.

 

“I had a good night’s sleep.” And a most enjoyable morning, but that was private. “It helps that Voldemort hasn’t summoned me.”

 

Jeffrey had told him about Albus’ plans and the fact that Harry could manipulate the Mark. James agreed that there might be a chance to do away with the Dark Mark for once and for all. “You are making great progress, Severus, I am proud of you.” To his surprise, Severus averted his gaze and almost seemed ashamed. “What is amiss?”

 

“I have done nothing to make you proud,” slipped from Severus’ tongue. He hadn’t want to say it aloud, not with Harry present. The boy might start lecturing him again.

 

“That’s so not true!” Harry shook his head. “Don’t you think it is time to stop putting yourself down like that?” He used to do it himself, so he easily identified the behavior. He could tell that Severus was about to object again, so he beat the Potions Master to it. “I will stop doing it, if you do the same. I will stop thinking and talking about myself in that way if you stop it as well.”

 

James and Remus exchanged a quick look, which spoke of admiration for the boy’s tactic – impressive.

 

“Harry,” Severus blinked. “You can’t possible think of yourself as a failure! Look at what you have accomplished so far!”

 

“And look at what you achieved, sir…” Ah, to hell with it! “Severus, you need to stop doing this to yourself!” During their brief bouts of Severus teaching him Occlumency, Harry had glimpsed bits and pieces from the older wizard’s past and knew he had to bring it up. “Don’t believe what your parents told you! Don’t let them do that to you. Your mother and father were dead wrong about you!”

 

“Harry’s right.” James placed his hand atop of Severus’ and fed him some healing energy. “We discussed this before. Your parents abused you – Severus, physically and emotionally. This determined the way you see yourself, Severus… But what you fail to see is that you are not the person your parents made you out to be. You are a much better person. You are worthy of being loved… and you are loved, by several people, actually.”

 

“I love you,” Remus said while claiming his lover’s free hand.

 

“Sir… Severus, I wouldn’t have asked you to take my godfather’s place if I didn’t greatly care about you… Surely, you understand that?” Harry wondered what it would take for them to get through to Severus, providing they would ever find a way!

 

Severus frowned. He couldn’t understand why they continued to convince him he WAS worthy of all those things. “I simply don’t understand,” he admitted in the end.

 

“Which is fine,” James said reassuringly. He counted it as a victory that Severus wasn’t downright attacking them on their ideas. “Just give it time and you will understand in the end.”

 

Severus nodded, although he wasn’t sure he ever would.

 

/

 

How exactly had he gotten himself into this absurd situation? Ah yes, it had been a combined action by Remus, Harry, James, and Jeffrey, would had also joined them. Remus had even flooed to Hogwarts to retrieve the mittens and scarf Harry had given him. And then they had dragged him outside and into the snow to build a bloody snow man! Just how old did they think they were? They were fully grown men, except for Harry, who was stuck at that awkward phase of becoming a man. But really. Remus, James and Jeffrey should know better!

 

“Severus, come, join in!” Remus tried to entice Severus to join them, wondering why his lover kept such a careful distance. Severus shook his head and Remus looked toward James for answers. “Do you know what’s going on?” Harry was thankfully occupied, rolling one giant snow ball which would make the up the torso of the snow woman they were now building.

 

James had an idea, but couldn’t be sure. He moved closer to Remus, so Severus couldn’t listen in on them. “How much do you know about Severus’ childhood? The way he was brought up?”

 

“Not much – nothing actually.” Remus watched Severus sit down on a bench and then the Potions Master stone-like stared at Harry and Jeffrey, who were giggling and chuckling as they continued to build their snow woman.

 

“He will be furious should he ever found out I confided in you, but I believe you need to know.”

 

“Know what, James?” Remus felt a heavy sense of foreboding.

 

James knew he had to be quick – the moment Severus suspected something was up, the Potions Master would act. “His parents never loved him. They never cuddled him and played with him. Severus comes from an abusive home, Remus. His father used to beat him, his mother locked him up, and they regularly withheld food as punishment.”

 

Something inside Remus’ brain clicked. “Is that the reason why he finds it hard to serve himself food? He never puts anything on his plate – I noticed that. He only takes his tea with sugar when someone else adds it. Or butters his bread for him.”

 

“He wasn’t allowed to take anything himself,” James confirmed. “Remus, Severus was a very lonely, isolated and abused child. He was never allowed to play – to act like a child. I suspect he has no idea how to act in this situation. He never played in the snow before – he never had friends before.” James noticed the looks Severus was giving him and knew he had to be careful.

 

Remus swallowed hard, upset by the insight James had offered just now. He hadn’t had the happiest childhood either, but his family HAD loved him – even when it became evident he was a werewolf. “What do I do?”

 

“Encourage him to participate, but also allow him to retreat. He doesn’t know what behavior is appropriate. He has to see how everyone interacts before he might be convinced to join in.”

 

“What happened to his parents? Are they still alive?”

 

James blinked. “I honestly have no idea. Severus always uses the past tense when speaking of them, but he never actually said they died.” He would have to ask Albus that as he did want to know the answer to that question!

 

“Excuse me, but I think Severus needs me, even if he doesn’t say so,” Remus said as he moved away from James and toward Severus. Keeping everything he had learned in the back of his head, he sat down next to his lover and pulled a gloved hand into his lap. “A penny for your thoughts.”

 

Severus snorted. “The two of you seemed to have a rather… intimate conversation.”

 

Severus was already on the defensive, which wasn’t good. A change in tactic was in order. “Have you ever build a snow man before, love?”

 

That last word undid Severus. How could he be angry with someone who truly loved him? “No, never.” Severus wondered what Remus was up to.

 

“Then you are going to build one right now. There is a nice spot over there. It’s still within the wards and the snow looks solid.”

 

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Why should I accept your offer? I declined it earlier.”

 

“Because you want to build a snow man. Everyone should have built one at least once. I will show you how to do it.” Remus got to his feet again, but maintained his hold on Severus’ hand, pulling him along that way.

 

Severus got to his feet as well – although against better judgment. “This is folly.”

 

“Yes, it is, and we are going to enjoy it!”

 

James watched the pair wander off and grew worried. But then Remus started on the snow man and directed Severus’ actions as well. Soon the two men had assembled the head and torso and only needed to conjure some attributes in order to finish it.

 

“Doctor Barnes?” Harry had walked up to the older healer and followed the direction of his stare. He smiled – rather pleased – upon finding Severus adding a hat and scarf to the snow man they had built.

 

“Remus is doing an excellent job,” James remarked, addressing both Harry and his son.

 

Jeffrey wrapped one arm around his father and moved closer. “I remember the first time you took me outside to build one.”

 

Harry thought back to his first snow man; he had built one with Ron, Hermione and Neville during the first winter at school. That was a happy memory and so he smiled along.

 

“We should head back inside. We have been outside for quite a while and Severus isn’t a hundred percent yet,” Jeffrey said, looking out for the interest of their patient.

 

“Let him decide that, Jeffrey… Severus has had to follow orders for much too long. They are safe out here and I know Remus will take good care of him.”

 

Although his father was correct, Jeffrey still didn’t like it. He preferred Severus safely bundled up on the sofa in the living room!

 

/

 

Severus watched the rest head indoors and wondered if they shouldn’t do the same. Remus however, interrupted his musings. The other wizard wrapped his arms around him from behind and rested his chin on his shoulders.

 

“Is it just me or does that snow man look a lot like Albus?”

 

“It must be the hat,” Severus joked as he looked at the pink contraption. Only Albus would wear something like that.

 

“I don’t know about you,” Remus mused as he smiled into Severus’ hair, “but I am happy to be here – with you.”

 

Needing to see Remus’ face, Severus turned in the embrace. The smile on Remus’ face could only be described as goofy. “You remind me of Tigger again,” Severus admitted.

 

“Well, it could be worse, I guess. Don’t expect me to go bouncing through the snow though.” Remus cradled the back of Severus’ head within his hand. “I love you,” he whispered before leaning in to kiss him. Severus tensed and Remus wondered how long it would take before the Potions Master would feel at ease with being kissed. “What’s wrong?” he asked after ending the kiss.

 

“We’re in public. People can see.”

 

Remus arched an eyebrow. “Severus, no one is around. Why does being out in public worry you?”

 

Severus averted his gaze. “I know what they think of me. They will ridicule or lecture you for kissing me –for being with me, if I may assume we are together.”

 

Remus sighed deeply. Severus’ self-esteem issues were even worse than he had imagined! “I am very proud of being together with you, Severus, and yes, you should assume we are an item as I am not in the habit of kissing people for no reason at all. Severus, I am happy we are together and I don’t care who knows… You do realize everyone knows, don’t you?” Severus’ stunned look told him he hadn’t realized that. “The Weasleys aren’t blind. Why do you think Molly put us in one room? Did it never cross your mind that Charlie’s room was available too? That should tell you Molly approves of our love, and if she does, Arthur will do the same. The twins like you a lot, Severus. I don’t know what happened between the three of you at Hogwarts, but they have stood up for you on more than one occasion.”

 

“Which is definitely odd…”

 

“What did happen?” Remus wasn’t sure Severus would confide in him though.

 

“One of the twins encountered a Boggart. It showed him the dead body of his brother. I shattered the illusion.”

 

“And?” Remus had the feeling there was more to that story.

 

“I tried to comfort him,” Severus admitted, ill at ease.

 

Remus had no trouble picturing Severus mothering the twin once given the chance. “And then you wonder why they defend you?”

 

Severus shrugged. “I am growing cold. Can we go back inside?”

 

“Of course, but Severus, that won’t change the fact that I love you and refuse to hide my feelings for you. It also won’t change the fact that everyone knows and approves. It will most definitely not change Molly hovering over you in concern.”

 

Severus nodded thoughtfully. “I just don’t understand why – why everyone accepts my presence here. Why they condone our relationship. Why they aren’t kicking me out and lecturing you.”

 

“You will understand one day,” Remus promised. “Just give it time.” Severus nodded again and Remus, who was growing cold himself, then led his lover back into the house.

 

/

 

Remus, judging it wise to give Severus some time and space to ponder the things that had happened recently, settled down on the sofa and started reading about Winnie The Pooh’s adventures. Now and then, a smile stole onto his face. He understood why he reminded Severus of Tigger, but his lover would make a really bad Winnie the Pooh! Though, Albus might qualify!

 

Severus wasn’t sure what to make of Remus’ preoccupation with the book. When he had purchased it, he had never thought Remus might actually want to read it!

 

James and Jeffrey had returned home and so it was just the three of them, with Harry catching up on the Daily Prophet’s Quidditch section.

 

Remus was very much aware of Severus’ puzzled gaze, but decided to play coy and let his lover come to him instead. Before that could happen though, the fireplace turned green and Albus stepped out of it. Remus put the book away and hoped Albus wasn’t the bearer of bad news. The Headmaster was smiling, but Remus knew appearances could be deceiving. “Albus!”

 

“Hullo Remus! Severus, you look well!” It was true. Albus was amazed to see some color on his child’s cheeks. Allowing him to stay at the Burrow had been the right decision then! “Don’t bother to get up! I am merely here to fetch Harry. The two of us need to discuss a certain matter.”

 

“You are taking him to Hogwarts?” Severus’ need to keep an eye on the boy surfaced.

 

“Yes, I am, so he will be perfectly safe! You can relax, my dear boy!” Albus walked over to Harry, and winked at him, making sure the other two wizards couldn’t see. “Are you up for a quick visit? I promise to return you before dinner.”

 

Harry put the newspaper away and nodded. If he wasn’t mistaken this was about the Dark Mark. Maybe Dumbledore’s research had paid off. “I am fine with it.” He walked over to the Headmaster and nodded. Realizing they would floo back to Hogwarts he prepared for a hard landing. “See you later,” he called and waved at Remus and Severus. The latter was giving him a confused look.

 

Severus frowned after Albus and Harry had disappeared and then turned to Remus. “Did that strike you as odd too?”

 

“A lot of things Albus does strikes me as odd,” Remus confirmed. “But I am not complaining.” At seeing Severus’ eyebrow rise, he added, “It’s just you and me. We finally have some privacy.” Wanting to make the best out of that time, he wrapped his arms around Severus and leaned in closer.

 

Severus’ breath caught the moment Remus’ tongue licked along his upper lip. “Remus…”

 

“Hush now…” Remus wasn’t going to waste precious time and claimed his lover’s lips in a fierce kiss. Severus trembled against him and he reckoned it was due to nervousness, but he understood Severus’ trepidation at hearing giggling behind him. “Don’t tell me…” he whispered.

 

“They are back,” Severus confirmed and cringed. Remus couldn’t see because his back was turned toward them, but Fred and George, who had emerged from the floo first where making kissing sounds and goofing around.

 

“Oh, Remus, kiss me…” Fred exclaimed, at which his twin made slurping noises.

 

Remus rested his head against Severus’ shoulder. “Such lousy timing… Can I hex them?”

 

“I wouldn’t mind, but you would get into trouble with Molly – you might want to reconsider that.”

 

Remus sighed; Severus was right. He turned around and glared at the twins, who had now been joined by Molly and Arthur. The rest of the family was also flooing in. For Severus’ sake – who would not take the teasing well – Remus hoped the twins would stop. And to his surprise, they did. “Thanks,” he mouthed. He would have had a hard time calming down Severus had the teasing continued.

 

Fred and George merely smiled reassuringly. They had seen the horror on Snape’s face and it had reminded them of the Potions Master’s fragile state. They would behave – they would be good – for the time being.

 

/

 

Harry looked at the ancient book lying on Dumbledore’s desk with respect and something akin to hope. “Did you find something, sir?”

 

“Maybe I did. I reckon it depends on your decisions.” Albus sat down behind his desk and gestured for Harry to seat himself as well. Once the young man had done so, Albus gave him a thoughtful look. “How old are you, Harry?”

 

Harry thought it an odd question, but answered it nonetheless. “Seventeen, sir.”

 

“You are of age in this world, but not in the one regarding Muggles, am I correct?”

 

Harry nodded. “What does that have to do with Severus?”

 

Albus smiled at hearing Harry use that name again. “There might be a way to redirect the power of the Dark Mark.”

 

“Redirect? I am sorry, sir, but I don’t understand.”

 

Albus nodded. “Severus is bound to Voldemort through that Mark. But, as Voldemort shares your blood, Severus is also bound to you. You proved that when you summoned him into the kitchen, yes?”

 

“That makes sense,” Harry reckoned, “But how will that help Severus?”

 

“Voldemort uses his bond to hurt Severus. You can use yours to heal him.”

 

“How?” Harry inched closer on his chair. Why did Dumbledore always have to talk in riddles?

 

“By strengthening the bond Severus and you share.” Albus patted the book in front of him. “There are two bonds that would take precedence over the one Severus shares with Voldemort. To put it in Muggle words – your bond would overrule Voldemort’s. He wouldn’t be able to summon Severus anymore.”

 

“But it will not completely destroy the link?

 

“I am afraid not. Only Voldemort himself can do that, but the link would be rendered useless… Let’s put it this way, you would switch it off.”

 

Harry understood what the Headmaster was telling him. “What do I need to do in order to make that happen?” He wasn’t sure, but he was under the impression Dumbledore was giving him a look in which mirth and anxiety lay. Was he going to like Dumbledore’s solution?

 

Dumbledore wasn’t going to play games or manipulate Harry. After all, it was his child’s well-being which was at stake. “We can rule out using the first type of bond, Harry, which is marriage. I doubt you want to make Severus your husband,” he said, smiling coyly.

 

“Remus would hex me!” For some illusive reason Harry relaxed and grinned back. “What’s the other possible bond type?” He hoped it was something he could live with because he didn’t want Severus to continue to suffer!

 

Albus hoped Harry liked option number 2. “That would be the paternal bond. You would accept Severus as your father and he you as his son. A bond like that would take precedence over Voldemort’s claim.” Albus watched Harry carefully and liked what he saw. The moment he had said the word ‘father’ Harry’s eyes had started to shine. Apparently Harry liked option number 2, thank Merlin!

 

“How will such a bond form? What do I have to do?”

 

Albus grinned. “I guess that means yes?”

 

“Of course it does! I practically begged Severus to take Sirius’ place as my godfather as Sirius isn’t capable of fulfilling his obligations. Severus turned me down because he could – and because he thinks he is ‘unworthy’ of such a role in my life. I told him it was nonsense, but he refuses to listen! Now, if you what tell me is true, he will have to accept it any way!”

 

Albus shook his head smilingly. “Option number 2 really pleases you, doesn’t it?” The fact that Harry was so eager to proceed set his mind at ease. He hadn’t seriously considering Harry declining, knowing what was at stake, but there had always been the possibility of Harry not wanting to give up Sirius’ position in his life.

 

“It’s perfect, sir, but tell me, when will it happen and what do I need to do? Maybe as quickly as possible? So far, Voldemort has kept quiet, but there is no guarantee he will leave Severus alone much longer.”

 

“We will need to talk to Severus first, don’t you think? I am relieved that you are so eager to proceed, but we need Severus’ acceptance as well.”

 

“Do you think he will reject me?” Harry hadn’t considered that option yet.

 

“It’s hard to say,” Albus said honestly. “He won’t simply accept in order to save his life. We might have to put some pressure on him. Let me rephrase that; YOU will have to find a way to make him comply. I can only do so much.”

 

Harry sobered at hearing that. “I won’t give up, sir. I want him to live. I want him to be whole and not in pain because of Voldemort.” Determinedly, Harry nodded. “I will find a way to make him agree.” He paused. “Can you tell me how the bond will be formed? Does it involve some sort of ritual?”

 

Harry’s questions pleased Albus as they showed the young man’s eagerness to make their venture a success. “It does,” he confirmed. “But I can assure you that it does not involve any blood, marking or sacrifice.” Albus considered his next move carefully. He would benefit if Harry knew what the process involved – in detail. Therefore he opened the book and turned around so Harry could see the text and illustrations. “What do you see?”

 

Harry blinked and then narrowed his eyes. The drawings showed two men, one older, one young. The older one lay on his back, while younger man stood next to him. Their joined hands rested on the lying man’s chest – where the heart was – and their wands were locked above his chest. Harry looked questioningly at Dumbledore. “What does the ritual involve?”

 

“An Unbreakable Vow is at the base of everything. The fact that Severus is already bound to you through your blood will deepen your relationship. A bond will form, naming you as his son. I believe, though I can’t be sure as this has never been done before – that the Mark on his arm might change form since his alliance will change. Voldemort will sense the change.”

 

“We must be alert then. He might try to intervene.” Harry grew worried.

 

“Don’t worry about Voldemort, Harry. You can leave him to me.” Albus felt confident that he could lock Riddle out, especially here at Hogwarts.

 

“And then what?”

 

“Your wands will also be bound. Severus’ will answer to you and he will be able to use yours. It will be impossible for you to attack each other, as the wands will recognize the bond.”

 

Harry nodded. “I am fine with that. Anything else?”

 

“Except for the emotional upheaval Severus will undoubtedly experience? There might be tears.”

 

Harry sighed. He wanted this to be a happy occasion. After all, he was gaining a father! “We will deal with it when that time comes. You might want to ask James or Jeffrey to attend the ritual.”

 

“And Remus as well,” Albus confirmed. “Harry, are you certain you want to do this? This bond won’t dissolve when Voldemort dies. This bond will remain in place until either you or Severus die. Harry, you need to be completely sure you want this,” he stressed. He wouldn’t proceed otherwise, even if his child might have to suffer because of it.

 

“I am completely certain, sir. I want this. I want a parent who cares about me. I want someone alive, sir. I love my parents, but they are dead. I want someone who is sane,” he snorted at that, “Although I sometimes doubt Severus’ sanity because he is so damn self-sacrificing, And sir, I want someone who loves me, and Severus might not think himself worthy, or will never say so aloud, but I believe he greatly cares about me – maybe even as for a son.”

 

“You speak wisely, Harry. I agree with you. Severus – once fully healed – will make a good father.”

 

“Then we are agreed?” Harry beamed. He had seldom been happier! “Who is going to tell him though? He won’t take the news well.” They had their work cut out for them!

 

“Shall we tell him together?” Albus offered, “I believe, our chances are best if we confront him together -- united.”

 

Harry actually agreed. “Let’s do this… I don’t want to wait… Voldemort might be searching for new ways to hurt Severus as we speak!”

 

“Your concern does you credit, Harry.” Albus closed the book and shrunk it in order to easier carry it with him. This wasn’t going to be easy – not at all.

 

/

 

Arthur began to pity Remus and Severus during the day. It was obvious that Severus was trying to fit in, but what he secretly longed for was privacy. Deciding to help out, Arthur gestured for the two of them to follow him after lunch. He guided them into his private study/ conservatory were he often found some peace and quiet away from the family which he so loved. “Please, sit down,” he said invitingly and gestured at the comfortable sofa against the glass wall of the conservatory. It allowed a look outside and made the room feel less confined.

 

Severus wondered what he had done wrong; had he somehow offended the other wizard? He gave Remus a worried look, but the DADA professor took his hand in his and rubbed his fingers reassuringly.

 

Arthur watched them interact for a moment; he doubted Severus knew that his emotions were easily read. It was as if the former spy had forgotten how to lock them away. “I thought you would like some privacy,” he explained. “I love my family dearly, but they can be rather overwhelming. I will cast a silence charm on the door when I leave. Don’t worry about anyone harassing you in here; this room is off limits. They know that and respect it. Not even Molly will seek you out here,” he said as he made his way back to the door. “You look like you need some time away from the hassle, enjoy.” Arthur closed the door behind him, and as promised, cast the silencing charm.

 

Severus blinked in surprise and then looked at Remus. “What?”

 

Remus chuckled. “I rather agree with him!” He moved closer on the sofa and wrapped an arm around his lover. “I have wanted to do this all day long!” Leaning in closer, he leisurely claimed Severus’ lips and settled down comfortably for making out. Maybe Severus would even let him get to first base this time? He was dying to touch his lover. Kissing was good, but touching would be better.

 

Severus was about to object, wanting to point out that contrary to what Arthur just said, his family might burst into the room anyway. But then Remus started kissing him in earnest, his lover’s tongue invading his mouth and challenging to a most delicious duel. When it came down to Remus, Severus had to admit defeat. Remus could easily wind him around his little finger and make him do anything. “Remus,” he sighed, breathing into his lover’s mouth.

 

Remus sensed the surrender. The tension left Severus’ body and the Potions Master finally relaxed against him. Remus considered that a good sign, and encouraged, he let his hands wander. One found its way into Severus’ hair, the other did its best to get beneath the man’s white shirt.

 

Severus’ breath caught at feeling Remus’ fingertips brush against his skin. Those long, slender fingers moved against his side, to his back and then caressed his abdomen. “What are you doing?”

 

“What does it look like? Touching you, of course.” Remus hated pausing kissing Severus, but knew he had to explain his actions. “I have longed to do so all day.”

 

Severus swallowed nervously. So far they had kissed and hugged, and that was about it. Remus actually wanting to touch him made him nervous. Because he was still lost in thought, he never realized that Remus was now using two hands to undo the numerous buttons to his shirt. His eyes widened the moment his lover pushed the fabric out of the way, baring his chest. His first reaction was to cover himself up as quickly as possible, but then Remus’ tongue traveled lower – down his throat, shoulder, to finally settle around a nipple. The suction applied to first his right and then his left nipple made him breathless, and even worse, his groin pulsed with arousal. “We can’t do this here!” he said, trying to change his lover’s mind, but Remus was already in the process of unbuttoning his black trousers.

 

Remus didn’t care if a whole herd of dragons would storm into the room. His passion demanded satisfaction and he was determined to continue. “Why do you think Arthur brought us here?” he asked, in-between kissing, licking and sucking Severus’ chest down toward his groin. Taking advantage of Severus’ flustered state, he resolutely pushed the man’s underwear out of the way, finally revealing all of him. Remus licked his lips – Severus was well endowed and the aroused flesh stood at attention, clearly eager for him to continue. Forgetting his own needs, and focusing on his lover, Remus wrapped his fingers around Severus’ erection and stroked slowly. He didn’t want his lover to come yet, but he did want to render Severus incapable of protesting further. He climbed onto Severus’ knee, shifted his weight, and could now easily fist his lover while claiming his mouth again.

 

Severus knew he had lost control and couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to the normally rather restrained DADA professor. The problem however was that rational thought was growing increasingly impossible. Remus’ fingers around his cock was all he could think about and when that tongue deserted his mouth to lavish its attention back on his nipples, Severus threw back his head. He couldn’t remember losing control like that ever before and to some degree, it scared him.

 

“Severus, I want to taste you,” Remus whispered into his lover’s ear and then playfully bit the lobe. Not giving Severus any time to make up his mind and to tell him off, Remus slid down his lover’s body, banished the constricting clothes, and finally relished having complete access to his lover’s groin. “Perfect,” he whispered as his fingers mapped Severus’ nether regions.

 

That momentarily respite was almost enough for Severus to regain control over his senses, but just when he was about to move away, Remus’ mouth closed over the head of his erection. Severus panted hard and his fingers clawed at the sofa the moment Remus started to suck at his cock. Feeling delirious, Severus had little choice than to allow Remus to have his way with him. Play bites delivered to the base of his cock, caused his balls to tighten in eager anticipation. “Remus, I am about to…” He wanted to warn his lover that he was about to come, as he didn’t want to surprise him, but his lover clearly had other plans. Remus promptly swallowed his cock completely. One hand cradled his balls, playing with them and then… Severus thought he might pass out due to being overly stimulated when Remus expertly slipped a finger into his body. The tip, cunningly searching for that magic spot. Severus shifted slightly and then suddenly, his body seemed to implode. Remus brushed that special spot inside his body and it catapulted him into orgasm. His body shook while finally unloading itself and Remus… Remus swallowed each drop of his come. All Severus could do was ride it out. Once his body calmed down, he felt exhausted.

 

Remus felt smug – no, he felt more than that – he was ecstatic that he had managed to pull it off. Severus would never have allowed him to continue if he had played it by the book, but by overwhelming Severus. Remus had managed to carry out his plans. Raising his gaze, he looked at his lover and was stunned to see the love and adoration in those eyes, which didn’t seem that dark anymore. Brown eyes with small golden specs in them looked at him instead. Severus’ expression boosted his confidence again, and eager to continue, he licked at Severus’ cock, keen on catching those last droplets between his lips. He slowly removed his finger from Severus’ body. Part of him was still stunned that his lover had allowed the invasion, but then again, Severus had clearly not been expecting anything of that kind. “I hope you enjoyed that.” Remus slid into Severus’ lap and rested his forehead against that of his lover’s. “More so, I hope you will let me do that again.”

 

Severus was still trying to catch his breath. Only now did he realize how one-sided their interaction had been and he instantly felt ashamed and guilty.

 

“What’s wrong?” Remus frowned, disliking the darkening expression on his lover’s face.

 

“What about you? I terribly neglected your needs.” Severus bit onto his bottom lip. He had never had a lover before. What was he supposed to do?

 

Remus sighed in relief. “Let me show you.” He inched closer to Severus, and while maintaining a grip on Severus’ hair, he unzipped his trousers with the other. Banishing his underwear allowed his erection to be freed and Remus groaned at the pressure which had built in his body. He needed to come too. “Give me your hand…”

 

Feeling extremely insecure, Severus allowed Remus to wrap his fingers around the weeping cock. Remus’ hand then covered his and guided his strokes. It was odd, but Remus’ guidance, made Severus less insecure.

 

Remus claimed Severus’ lips once more. Chasing his lover’s tongue, he let go and eventually allowed Severus to pick the tempo of his strokes after sliding his hand away from his cock. Grabbing Severus’ hair again, he pulled the Potions Master on top of him. He quickly banished his trousers as well, parted his legs and allowed Severus full access. “Make me come, please…” He didn’t care how he came, but he needed release!

 

Severus was rather confused at suddenly finding himself blanketing Remus. Following his instinct, he slid one knee between his lover’s legs, and was stunned when Remus began to rub himself against it. The sounds coming from Remus’ lips surprised him as well. His lover then practically begged him to end it and to finally make him come.

 

“Please, Severus… Please…” Remus wasn’t beyond begging; he also knew he was dealing with a severely insecure and inexperienced man and therefore encouraged him as much as he could. Suddenly Severus’ grip tightened and the pace picked up. His eyes nearly bulged from their sockets when Severus fisted him in earnest. Rubbing himself against Severus’ knee and imagining it was the man’s cock about to penetrate him shot him over the edge and he came all over Severus’ hand. He continued to rock a little longer, trying to get as much out of the contact as he could. “Yes, yes…” He could hardly wait for them to finally make love. He had the feeling they would be a perfect fit.

 

Severus released the softening flesh and took to soothingly stroking Remus’ hair instead. “I… love… you… “ he whispered softly, surprising both of them.

 

“I love you too,” Remus said, still panting heavily. “And although I can’t get it up again, I hope you will make me come again very soon.” Being patted like that actually felt very nice. During his one-night stands, Remus had gained ample experience between the sheets, but all activity had ceased once they had come. To be snuggled like that was a new experience and Remus sighed appreciatively. “I am already looking forward to the next time we will have some privacy.” He gave Severus a sneaky look.

 

Severus blushed slightly. “You planned that.”

 

“Not really; the opportunity merely presented itself and I couldn’t resist. Do you mind?” Remus raised an arm and caressed Severus’ face. Judging by the expression on his lover’s face, Remus didn’t think so.

 

Severus thought it over while playing with a strand of Remus’ hair. “No, I don’t, but I doubt I would have gone along had you explained your intentions to me.” He would have chickened out.

 

Remus nodded and upon realizing he was growing sticky, used a non-verbal cleaning spell on both of them. “That’s what I thought.” Next, he brought back their clothing and while sitting up, he straightened up his attire. Severus did like-wise, but looked much more pre-occupied. “Thank you for that, love. It was mind-blowing.” Severus grew even more flustered. “Thank you for letting me take such liberties with you.” Severus peeked at him – rather curiously. “I reckon I can make you scream once I put my cock up there instead of just my finger.” Remus took a risk by saying that. He didn’t know if Severus appreciated dirty talk or if his lover even liked the idea of bottoming in general.

 

Severus quickly averted his gaze. The truth was that Remus brushing his prostate had pushed him over the edge and he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to have his lover’s cock fill him. A part of him was curious to find out, another felt horrified he was even thinking about it.

 

“Or would you rather be inside of me?” Remus continued now that Severus seemed indecisive. “Would you prefer that?”

 

“I don’t know,” Severus admitted, feeling bashful. “I like what you did to me, but…”

 

Remus nodded; small steps, he reminded himself. “I have the feeling we will enjoy taking turns driving the other one mad.” He was versatile in bed; he liked to top as well as bottom. If Severus felt the same, they would be a good match. “We will find out in time.” Remus slid out of Severus’ lap, got to his feet, and felt invigorated. “I might turn into Tigger after all,” he joked. “I feel like bouncing through the room!”

 

Severus smiled at hearing that. He felt immensely relieved that Remus had enjoyed himself. Maybe he had done something right after all!

 

/

 

The moment Severus stepped back into the living room, he felt like everyone knew what he had been up to. It probably was just paranoia but they were at the Burrow and Fred and George had created havoc before, using Expendable Ears and Eyes. He would never survive the shame and humiliation if they had somehow caught him in the act. But Fred and George remained quiet and paid him little attention.

 

Severus looked up in surprise when Albus and Harry stepped out of the kitchen. The fact that James and Jeffrey walked behind them worried him further. This couldn’t be good.

 

“Severus, can we have a word with you? You too, Remus?” Albus smiled, hoping to reassure his child, who looked like he was about to faint. Hopefully Severus had been resting as ordered!

 

“Arthur and I will join you as well,” Molly announced determinedly. “Severus and Remus are our guests and therefore we feel responsible for their well-being.”

 

Severus was about to reassure them that he could take care of himself, but then Albus nodded his approval. Maybe things weren’t that bad then, if Albus allowed the married couple to join in.

 

They retreated into Arthur’s study and the memory of what had happened in here earlier made Severus highly uncomfortable. Remus didn’t seem to be suffering at all though, as the wizard made himself comfortable on ‘their’ sofa, causing Severus to avert his gaze.

 

Remus understood Severus’ discomfort, but he just didn’t share it. To him, their making out had been wonderful and he would never feel ashamed of something that made him feel so loved.

 

Albus frowned at their odd interaction, but stopped himself from casting a non-verbal Legilimens. He didn’t want to intrude on their privacy, and if his suspicions were right, Severus had no reason at all to feel ashamed.

 

“What do you want to discuss?” Severus’ impatience got the better of him. He would have been able to contain himself better, had they retreated anywhere but here!

 

“I have found a way to break Voldemort’s hold over you,” Albus said, carefully monitoring Severus’ reaction. As expected, his child was instantly alert.

 

“What does it involve?” Severus didn’t want to be distracted, but Remus kept petting the space on the sofa next to him, with his eyes asking him to join him. In the end, he gave in, knowing it was useless to resist. He seated himself, but remained uncomfortable. Remus however resolutely took hold of his hand and rubbed his fingers. At first, Severus feared the caress would make things worse, but instead, his nerves calmed.

 

“What needs to be done?” Remus asked, wanting more information.

 

Albus nodded his approval at seeing Remus’ concern. “As I told Harry earlier, it is a rather painless procedure.”

 

“Rather painless?” Severus huffed. “With means there is pain involved…”

 

“Not directly… At least, I don’t think it will hurt.”

 

Harry frowned at the Headmaster. Dumbledore hadn’t told him about that!

 

“Seriously, Harry,” Albus said upon catching that look. “The Mark might cause some pain when it transforms, but…”

 

“Transforms?” Severus gave the two healers a quick look. They didn’t seem surprised, so he reckoned Albus had already told them.

 

“Let me explain this the right way.” Albus didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot. “What I am proposing is a bonding ceremony, Severus.”

 

Severus’ eyes widened. “Don’t tell me that your genius plan involves marrying Harry!” He would never consent. Firstly, he loved Remus and secondly, he would never do that to a young man as Harry Potter!

 

Remus growled softly. “I am NOT giving up Severus.”

 

Severus blinked at hearing the very obvious threat – not as much in the words as in the tone Remus was using.

 

“No, not marriage,” Harry said and chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood.

 

Severus sighed in relief. “Albus, there is no other bond strong enough to undo Voldemort’s hold over me.”

 

“But there is!” Albus grinned victoriously. “As long as it involves commitment, intent, and affection, it will break Tom’s hold over you.”

 

Severus was growing exasperated. “What kind of bond are you talking about?” He twined their fingers and tightened his hold on Remus’ hand.

 

“A parental bond,” Albus said and continued to smile. “You accept Harry as your son. Harry is more than willing to take you as his father. A bond like that would change everything.”

 

Severus’ eyes nearly bulged from his sockets. “You can’t be serious! Albus, I caused his parents’ death! You can’t possibly believe-“ But Severus didn’t get a chance to finish as Harry cut him short.

 

“Severus,” Harry said determinedly. “I will take Veritaserum if it makes you believe I am speaking the truth. I want you as my father…”

 

“I can’t believe it.” Severus swallowed nervously. “You don’t have to do this, Harry. Don’t bind yourself to me in such a way. It’s a bond that will last a lifetime. It’s not something that will disappear should Voldemort die. I am sure we can find another way to do away with Voldemort’s hold over me.”

 

Harry walked up to Severus and stared him in the eye. “You will deny me then, sir?”

 

The sudden change that had come over the boy made Severus nervous. “It’s not a matter of denying you, Harry, it is…”

 

“Then you will deny yourself?” Harry shook his head with exasperation. “Severus, do you want this? Do you want to take my father’s place?”

 

“I can’t, Harry. James Potter would never allow it. He is your father…”

 

“With all due respect, sir, James Potter is dead and NOT because of you!” Harry was almost screaming due to frustration. “Stop punishing yourself!”

 

Severus flinched; it was impossible to deny Harry’s determination or desire to do this.

 

“Severus, love, Harry is right. You need to stop punishing yourself. Can’t you see that everyone has forgiven you for whatever crime you committed in the past? Look at Albus… He loves you, doesn’t he? Do you think he could love you if you were as dark as you make yourself out to be? Do you?”

 

Remus made a valid point and Severus knew it. It was the truth – Albus loved him, but abhorred all evil.

 

Remus didn’t have to hear the words to know Severus understood. “James cares about you, doesn’t he? He even bound himself to you in order to keep you from dying, and no, contrary to what you will say – that’s not common practice for a healer.”

 

“It isn’t,” Jeffrey confirmed and waited for Severus to look at him. “My father never did that before. You are important to us, Severus. You are not evil; I doubt you ever were – just mistreated and misunderstood.” His father nodded at hearing it and gave Severus an encouraging nod.

 

“Severus, I might be hard on you at times, but that’s because I think you neglect yourself,” Molly said. “It’s not because I hate you. It’s because we care.” She smiled at him. “You should accept Harry’s offer. I believe it will bring both of you happiness. Harry needs a father.”

 

Harry silently applauded them for backing him up. “It’s true, Severus. I want you to do this. James Potter will always be my father, but he is dead. I need someone alive… Someone I can turn to when I need advice. Someone who will comfort me, when I am hurt. Someone like you, please…”

 

“I still think this is wrong,” Severus admitted softly, “But I won’t oppose you. If this is what you want, I will comply.”

 

Albus sighed in relief. The first hurdle had been taken. The rest would come naturally. Severus already cared deeply for Harry. It was only a matter of time before he would be able to allow those feelings to the surface. “Do you want to know what the ceremony involves?”

 

“Binding myself to him… Binding my wand to him.” Severus gave Albus a worried look. “But how will this break Voldemort’s hold over me?”

 

“What’s the strongest power in the world, child? That’s love…”

 

Severus shook his head. “This won’t work. You are working under false pretenses.”

 

“I am not. Do this, Severus. Do it for yourself, for Harry, for Remus and for me. I do not wish to lose my child ever again.” Albus gave Severus a pleading look. “You KNOW how much I care about you. You felt it. It pulled you back from the brink when you wanted to die.”

 

Harry gulped at hearing that. “Sir?” he said, addressing the Headmaster.

 

“After de-hexing you Severus almost died… maybe he died, we are not sure. But I had bound myself to him and managed to pull him back.”

 

Severus bowed his head. Yes, Albus loved him as a son, but this was different. Albus was asking Harry to bind himself to him – for as long as the young man lived. “When do you want to do this?” he asked, foregoing all resistance.

 

Harry felt so relieved that he sat down next to the Potions Master. Carefully, as to not startle the older wizard, he rested a hand on his shoulder. He had wanted to make contact all the time, but hadn’t been sure Severus would allow it. Severus gave him a quick look that shone with confusion. Harry smiled, hoping to set those worries to rest.

 

“Tonight, child,” Albus said determinedly.

 

“Tonight?” Severus could hardly believe Albus’ answer. “Why that fast?” To his surprise it was Harry and not Albus who supplied him with an answer.

 

“Voldemort might be thinking of a way to get back at you right now. We can’t take the risk and wait. We need to do this as quickly as possible.”

 

“I can bear the pain. You shouldn’t rush into this!” Severus’ gaze shifted repeatedly from Albus to Harry.

 

“No, Severus, we need to do this now.” Albus moved closer and came to a halt in front of the Potions Master. “I would never forgive myself if Tom found a way to murder you through the Mark.”

 

Severus grew quiet, moistened his lips, and slid his sleeve up high, baring the Dark Mark to them. “How sure are you that this bond you are proposing will break this hold?”

 

“Fairly sure.” Albus conjured a chair and sat down so he was on eye-level with Severus. “Your Mark will probably change and take a new form as this new bond will take precedence.”

 

Severus had realized that as well. “What kind of Mark will that be?”

 

“I am not sure, child. It’s rather up to Harry. Whatever represents a father to him will show on your arm.”

 

“Will I be marked too?” Harry frowned.

 

“I doubt it, however there is a small possibility that a sign will appear on your wrist. Whatever feelings Severus has for you will take form in it.”

 

Harry wasn’t bothered by that. “Let’s hope it won’t be a snake. I will have a hard time explaining that one, considering I am a Gryffindor.”

 

Severus shook his head at Harry’s casualness. “Albus, I don’t want him marked – in no way whatsoever.”

 

“I am afraid that is not up to you. The magic itself will decide who will be marked and in what form. It will know your true feelings.”

 

“And that should reassure us?” Severus still thought this was the wrong thing to do.

 

“Actually it should, child.” Albus lifted Severus’ face with his hand and looked him in the eye. “You can try to hide your true self, but it won’t work, Severus. Everyone here knows you care deeply about Harry. The bond will know that as well and so it will protect Harry as much as it will protect you. Have some faith in yourself, child.”

 

Severus looked toward Remus for reassurance – to tell him that he shouldn’t do this, but all Remus did was nod his head and smile at him. So he couldn’t expect any support there. Next he looked at Harry, and at seeing the hope and expectation in those green eyes, Severus realized he was fighting a lost battle. “Tonight then. I hope you will never regret this, Harry.”

 

“I know it won’t!” Harry beamed with pride and happiness. “I am about to gain a father,” he said in a trembling voice. “I hope you will never regret having me as a son.”

 

A son… Severus swallowed hard. He had never thought he would have one, let alone it being Harry Potter. “I won’t… “

 

Harry, knowing he had to bridge the emotional distance somehow, leaned in closer and carefully hugged Severus close to him. “We will get through this, together…”

 

“Together,” Severus mirrored, shyly wrapping an arm loosely around Harry too. He only hoped Albus wasn’t making a mistake, which Harry would have to pay for during the rest of his life!

 

/

 

“Severus?” Arthur had been biding his moment and it came when Remus had to use the loo, finally giving him a moment alone with the depressed Potions Master. “Mind if I join you?” He would sit down and talk to him even if Severus said no.

 

Severus shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He resumed staring at the snowflakes, slowly descending onto the white blanket already covering the earth. He had retreated outside to a bench and had been staring at the snow men they had built earlier.

 

“I have known you for how long, Severus?” Arthur knew he had to be subtle and thankfully that quality had been honed while raising so many children.

 

Arthur’s question surprised Severus. “About twenty years.” Molly and Arthur had been third years at Hogwarts when he had started attending.

 

Arthur nodded thoughtfully. “I saw everything go downhill, you know. I didn’t have much of a backbone back then. I didn’t have the courage to stop them from bullying you. I didn’t think it would be worth the effort to try to steer you away from Tom. I took the easy way out. That knowledge has burdened me for a long time.”

 

Severus looked at the other wizard, not quite understanding why Arthur was telling him this. “It wasn’t your fault. I made the decision to take the Mark.”

 

“Yes, you did. But you did it out of anger, hurt and humiliation. You having another friend or friends would have made a difference. If only you’d had someone to turn to when Lily abandoned you.”

 

“Arthur, she didn’t abandon me. I hurt her and she distanced herself. I never blamed her for that.”

 

“But you should have,” Arthur said, treading on dangerous grounds. Severus’ angry expression told him so. “Friends talk things over – they forgive each other. With Lily it was one way or the other. Either she adored you or she hated you. It never could be in-between.”

 

Severus couldn’t argue with that for it was true. “Still, I only have myself to blame.”

 

“Severus, what am I trying to tell you is not to repeat past mistakes.”

 

Severus blinked. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” Most of the time Arthur used direct ways in order to tell him what he wanted, but this time, Severus felt lost.

 

Arthur realized he had to be more direct. “Don’t repeat the mistake Lily made. You are rejecting Harry for the wrong reasons. You care about him, don’t you?”

 

Severus quickly averted his gaze. “I do care about him. That’s not the problem.”

 

Arthur nodded. “The problem is that you think yourself unworthy of his love in turn. You are rejecting him for the wrong reasons. Lily rejected you because she was angry with you. She could have worked on forgiving you and extending her hand in friendship once more. You are rejecting Harry because you are angry with yourself. Severus,” Arthur gently placed a hand on Severus’ shoulder and squeezed. “You need to forgive yourself. You have so much to gain from doing so! A lover, a son, a father – a whole, rather noisy family. Why do you find it so hard to forgive yourself?”

 

Severus’ eyes shone with unshed tears, which he felt too ashamed of to shed. “I got them killed, Arthur.”

 

Arthur drew in a deep breath and shifted his hand until he could turn Severus’ face toward him. Once he had established eye contact, he said, “You were young, Severus… Only eighteen. You had been bullied for seven years at school and at home… I reckon it was even worse back at home. You saw a way out when Tom came along and you took it. Once you realized your mistake you redeemed yourself by going to Albus. Severus, you have saved so many lives since. If you hadn’t delivered that prophecy to Tom, someone else would have. James and Lily would have still been killed, but Harry stopped Tom’s reign, Severus. You caused that as well. Without Tom attacking the Potters we might all be enslaved today.”

 

Severus knew what Arthur was trying to do, but shook his head. “They still died.”

 

“Yes, they still died. Severus, they would have died no matter what. Maybe two days later, or a year later, but would Harry have been able to stop Tom? Severus, let go of that guilt. You need to support Harry in this. That boy is on the brink of becoming a young man and he needs a father. Trust me, I have raised Bill and Charlie and now Fred and George are about to enter that confusing stage of their lives. At that point in time, a young man needs a father. Do this for Harry. Do this for yourself. You already love him like a son, don’t you?” The fact that Severus was blushing fiercely told Arthur all he needed to know. “Even Remus wants you to do this, and let’s face it, Remus was James’ best friend. Do you really think Remus would let you do this if he didn’t think Lily and James wouldn’t agree?”

 

Severus shrugged again.

 

“Severus, James and Lily would have taken the way you have changed into account. I know that you think of James as a bully, and yes, he was a spoilt brat, but he was also capable of learning from his mistakes. He changed once Lily told him she was pregnant. He knew he was responsible for their safety and if he could appear right in front of you, he would urge you to continue. He would have seen the change in you. So would Lily. Don’t do this to yourself, Severus. Give Harry what he wants the most –a father.”

 

It was hard to find flaw with Arthur’s reasoning. Severus uncovered the Dark Mark and stared at it.

 

“Severus, the fact that you took the Dark Mark saved many lives – Molly’s included. I remember the warning I received from Albus that she was in danger and we moved her to a safe house. Only an hour later, Death Eaters wrecked the place where she was hiding. She was pregnant with George and Fred at that time – eight months pregnant. You saved them. Let that account for something too.”

 

Severus recalled the incident. He had found out that Death Eaters were about to attack one of the safe houses the Order used. He hadn’t known Molly was supposed to attend it. He had only told Albus, who had then taken action.

 

“Lily and James would have acknowledged your changed ways… They would have forgiven you… And Severus, Harry forgave you some time ago. He doesn’t blame you for his parents’ death. By Merlin, you died de-hexing him!” Arthur’s voice took on a gentle quality. “Only a father would die for his child. Severus, you love him. Admit it. Give Harry what he wants – what he deserves. What YOU need and deserve.”

 

Severus sighed. “You make it sound so easy. You have no idea what you are asking for.”

 

“Severus, it IS easy. All you have to do is accept that Harry wants this. Let him guide your actions. Take your hints from him.”

 

“That scares me,” Severus eventually admitted. “He doesn’t know what it is best for him.”

 

“On the contrary. When was Harry’s judgment ever off? Look at his best friends – they deserve to be at his side. Look at the family he has chosen to be with – we are loud and rowdy but fiercely loyal. Look at the Potions Master Harry has grown so fond of. The wizard saved his life how many times? Didn’t you hear that Severus Snape also saved Remus from that curse? How many Aurors which Tom targeted made it out alive because of that spy? Severus, you…” Arthur ran out of words. In the end, he settled for a simple, “You must do this.” He had tried his best. If he had been unable to convince Severus, he had to admit defeat.

 

“Severus?” Remus appeared next to them. He had kept in the back while Arthur had talked to Severus. Hopefully he had managed to get through to the Potions Master. “Albus wants to see you.”

 

Severus sighed and pulled his cloak tightly around him. “Arthur, for what’s worth, thank you.”

 

Remus sat down next to Arthur and both watched Severus disappear into the house. Arthur drew in a deep breath and said, “James and Lily would have been proud of him.”

 

Remus nodded. “But you will never manage to convince Severus of that.”

 

Arthur sighed. “We must hope, Remus. We must believe that, in the end, Severus WILL realize his worth.”

 

/

 

Albus and Harry awaited Severus in the kitchen. They wanted to address some matters before starting the ceremony. “Sit, child,” Albus said and pointed at the chair next to him.

 

While Severus seated himself, he studied Harry. The young man still carried that determined expression. “What else is there to discuss?”

 

“We will hold the ceremony at Hogwarts.” Albus placed a hand – meant to reassure – on Severus’ shoulder. “The wards are strongest there.” After Severus nodded, he added, “Molly and Arthur have requested permission to attend the ceremony. I don’t mind their presence, but maybe you do?”

 

“Remus will be there too?” Remus currently was his lifeline and he needed the other wizard at his side.

 

“Of course!”

 

Severus bowed his head. “I don’t mind. What else?” Albus placed a finger beneath his chin and forced him to raise his head.

 

Albus had considered keeping this from Severus, but in the end, he realized he had to be honest. “There is a chance Voldemort will try to stop us. He might reach out to you through the Mark and attempt to kill you. There is always that risk.”

 

Severus briefly closed his eyes. “I have lived on borrowed time for much too long. I know that the end can come quickly.”

 

“Child? Look at me?”

 

Severus opened his eyes and looked questioningly at his mentor. “It’s fine, Albus. I told you before that I don’t mind dying.”

 

“Even if that means leaving Remus behind?” Albus knew he had hit bull’s eye when Severus flinched jerkily.

 

“I regret that, yes, but there is no way I can stop death.” Severus was grateful that Harry wasn’t getting involved at that point.

 

“I want to discuss something with you,” Albus continued. “In case Tom tries to murder you through the Mark, I want your permission to act.”

 

“Act in what way?” As far as Severus knew there was no way for Albus to stop Voldemort.

 

“I bonded with you before. I will do so again.”

 

Severus cringed. “And let me drag you into death with me? Albus, please don’t.”

 

“In case Tom attacks, I will join the bonding ceremony as an active participant. I will take you as my son. That will create a bond which will equal the one Harry will have with you. Double blood protection, Severus. Tom won’t stand a chance against the three of us.”

 

Severus stared at his mentor. It might work – he had to admit that, but… “Albus, I know that you care about me. I felt the love you have for me, but do you really want to do that?”

 

“I do,” Albus confirmed. “You ARE my child, Severus. I will stand at your side when you need me the most.”

 

“I can’t stop you at any rate,” Severus realized and accepted the inevitable. “Harry and you… The two of you are insane.”

 

Albus grinned and playfully elbowed Harry’s side. “Thankfully for you that’s a good thing!” Albus waited for Severus to react and when his child smiled shyly, he leaned in closer to embrace him. “I am serious, Severus. You ARE my child and I will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe!”

 

“So will I,” Harry said softly. “If you will let me.”

 

Severus nodded and surrendered, knowing there was no way they would change their mind. He had better make the best of it.

 

/

 

“Nervous?”

 

Severus raised an eyebrow at Remus for stating the obvious. “What do you think?”

 

“Sorry, I am just trying to comfort you.” Remus bit onto his bottom lip. He didn’t like the situation they were in either, but realized they had little choice. They had gathered in Albus’ office; Harry, Molly, Arthur, James, Jeffrey, Albus and Severus. Remus was a tad surprised that Molly and Arthur had asked permission to be present, but he had the feeling the married couple was in the process of adopting Severus themselves. The Weasley family kept expanding it seemed. “I am sure everything will turn out fine.”

 

Severus didn’t share the sentiment and kept his gaze trained on Albus, who was in the middle of maneuvering a number of blankets onto the floor. What was that about?

 

“Severus, lie down and make yourself comfortable. I don’t want you standing up. The strain might make you faint.”

 

Severus glared at his mentor. “I will not lay down.”

 

“Severus, please.” James thought it was time to get involved. “You don’t want me levitating you, do you?”

 

Severus grumbled, and annoyed with the situation, he was forced to lie down. Albus knelt next to him and gave him a comforting smile.

 

“I need your wand, child.”

 

Severus growled; he didn’t like parting from it, but eventually handed it to Albus, who then got to his feet.

 

“Harry, I need your wand as well.”

 

Harry handed over his wand readily and looked at Severus, who seemed highly uncomfortable. He must feel vulnerable… Acting on instinct, Harry sat down next to Severus and smiled at him. “Hullo there… This reminds me of the day you de-hexed me, but then the situation was the other way around.” Gathering his courage, Harry stroked some stray dark strands out of the older wizard’s face. Severus looked stunned at the touch. “Hey, you are about to become my dad… I am allowed to do that.”

 

His dad… Severus blinked in confusion. “Do you really think of me like that?”

 

Harry nodded. “I am not doing this out of some weird sense of obligation. I am doing this because I care about you. And because I want this.” The look in Severus’ eyes told him that the Potions Master was beginning to fully understand what was happening. “I want you to be my father. I need you to be my dad.”

 

Severus swallowed hard. He was slowly beginning to understand that Harry really wanted this – wanted HIM. And if he was honest with himself he would admit he wanted this too. He wanted to protect Harry and keep him safe. That the young man deemed him worthy of taking on a parental role was amazing. “I will try my best to live up to your expectations.”

 

“Just be yourself… I happen to like you.”

 

Albus watched from a few steps away. The exchange he was witnessing confirmed what he had suspected all along – he was doing the right thing. “Please move aside… I need some space,” he told the witnesses.

 

Reluctantly Remus moved out of the way, but he kept a close eye on his lover. He noticed the way Molly and Arthur moved closer to him and read concern in their eyes. They worried too.

 

“Harry, why don’t you move a little closer. Sitting cross-legged is perfect. Just allow Severus to rest his head in your lap.” Albus started to chant the incarnations which would activate the magic that would eventually bind them.

 

“I hope you don’t mind. Headmaster’s orders,” Harry said with a smile on his face.

 

Severus complied reluctantly and inched closer until his head rested comfortably in Harry’s lap. This felt odd – it felt wrong.

 

“Don’t worry,” Harry said, easily reading the apprehension in those dark eyes. “Everything will be fine.”

 

Severus wasn’t sure about that. A moment later, he felt the magic around them starting to build higher. Tendrils of his magic reached out for Harry, and Harry’s magic welcomed him, happily twining itself around him.

 

“This is amazing.” Harry had never seen anything like it before. Tendrils of gold leaked from Severus’s body and reached for his core. Harry watched as silver sparks coming from his magical core reached for Severus’ gold and started to mingle.

 

“Harry James Potter. You came before me with a request. What kind of request?” Albus moved in front of them so they could see him. The magic around him was surprisingly strong. He had expected it to be strong and solid, but not to such an extent! Harry’s and Severus’ magic complimented each other in a way he had never expected!

 

“I want Severus Snape as my father.” Harry didn’t have to think twice about it. “That’s what I want.”

 

Albus nodded, sensing the determination in the words, as well as in Harry’s magic. “Your desire is true. Do you wish to enter a bond with Severus Snape, the wizard you have chosen as your father?”

 

“Yes, I do. I want him to take me as his son.” Albus had talked the ceremony through with him, but living it was something different all together.

 

“Severus Tobias Snape, do you wish to take Harry James Potter as your son? Will you fulfill the responsibilities that come with parenthood? Will you watch over him? Protect him? Love him as a father should love his child?”

 

Severus stared at the tendrils of their combined magic which now surrounded them. He had never believed their magic was compatible to such an extent. It told him that this was meant to be. This was fate – his fate. “I wish to take Harry James Potter as my son. I will be parent as well as friend. I will give my life in order to protect him.”

 

Harry didn’t like that last bit, but remained quiet, knowing objecting would terminate the bond that was beginning to form between them.

 

“Harry, take Severus’ wand.”

 

Harry took Severus’ ebony wand and gave Dumbledore a puzzled look. The Headmaster hadn’t mentioned this bit.

 

“Place it over your heart.”

 

Harry did as he was told and waited.

 

“Harry James Potter, as you are about to take Severus Tobias Snape as your father, his wand needs to know you so you can commend it an hour of need.”

 

“Severus, take Harry’s wand.” Albus handed the wand to his child and gave him a reassuring smile. The way Severus’ eyes rocketed in their sockets worried him. He hoped Severus would manage to hold onto his composure. “Severus Tobias Snape, as you are about to acknowledge Harry James Potter as your son, his wand needs to know you so you can command in an hour of need. Place it over your heart.” Severus’ hand shook when he complied and Albus wanted nothing more than to take his child in his arms and console him. But he couldn’t do that – the ritual needed to be completed. “Harry, wrap your fingers around Severus’ hand, join your wands together.”

 

Harry smiled at the older wizard as he placed the ebony wand next to his own and then wrapped his fingers around Severus’. He was happy he had decided to do this. He really wanted this; he wanted a family – a father.

 

“This bond, created in love and dedication, takes precedence over all other already existing bonds. This bond…” Albus stopped short as Severus screamed out in pain. His eyes bulged, his features contorted and blood began to flow from his lips and nose. “Riddle,” Albus whispered with certainty. He would have been surprised had Voldemort allowed this. Seeing Remus was about to move forward, Albus quickly stopped. “Stay back!”

 

Remus froze in his tracks, but growled at the Headmaster. His lover was in pain! He had to help!

 

“Let me,” Albus said, after quickly exchanging a look with the two healers. “Stay close, just in case.”

 

James and Jeffrey nodded; they had discussed what could happen during the ceremony and knew what was expected of them.

 

Albus knelt next to Severus and drew in deep breath. He summoned his magic, cast it forth and twined his white energy with the gold and silver twirling around them. “Severus, child, listen to me.” Severus’ eyes were moist with tears and they started to flow down his face.

 

“Let me go, Albus… It’s not worth risking your life,” Severus managed in between gasps which revealed his pain. He barely registered the fact that Harry’s hold on his hand had tightened. The pain Voldemort kept sending through the Dark Mark was crippling and he fought for breath.

 

Harry’s breath caught at seeing the rivulets of blood that leaked from Severus’ eyes, ears and nose. “Sir!” Frantically, he looked to Dumbledore for help.

 

“It will be all right,” Albus said, making sure to sound comforting. He withdrew the Elder wand from his robes and slipped it into Severus’ hand, which was now holding three joined wands. “Severus, I take you as my son. You are the child I always wanted. I love you with all my heart. You are my flesh and blood. Severus, I claim you as my child – you are mine. Tom Riddle can’t have you… Voldemort will lose you.”

 

Harry sucked in his breath when Severus froze against him. Then, a giant shudder went through the Potions Master’s body and he fainted. “Sir?” Almost frantic, he reached for the Headmaster.

 

“Don’t let go of him, Harry.” Albus wrapped his fingers around their joined hands. “As Severus is my son now, I acknowledge Harry James Potter as my grandchild. Let the circle be completed.”

 

Struck with awe, Harry watched as the three separate tendrils started to mix until it was a strange color – a creamy colored ivory. He almost let go when he felt a sharp pain in his right wrist – his wand arm – the hand which was trapped inside Dumbledore’s. He instantly knew what had happened. The bonding magic had decided to mark him. Did that mean the ritual had been successful? Had they freed Severus of Voldemort’s influence?

 

“It is done.” Albus felt relieved now that his gamble had worked. He was confident that the Dark Mark was gone. Voldemort could no longer lay claim on his child. “You are free of him.” But Severus was still unconscious and couldn’t hear him, which reminded Albus that it was time to involve the healers. “James, Jeffrey, Severus needs you. Harry, you can let go now.”

 

Harry didn’t want to let go, but realized Severus needed the healers’ attention. He was also rather worried about the mark which might have appeared on his arm.

 

Molly, who had kept in the back, quickly wrapped an arm around Harry and moved him out of the way so James and Jeffrey could attend to Severus.

 

His brow started to itch and Harry rubbed the spot, belatedly realizing it was his scar that was itching.

 

“Let me have a look, Harry…” Molly swept the fringe aside and gasped.

 

“What’s wrong?” Alarmed, Harry stared at her, willing her to speak.

 

“Your scar – it’s gone.”

 

Remus, who would rather watch over Severus but was shooed away, moved to Harry as well. Molly was right; the scar WAS gone. “Amazing…”

 

Harry rubbed the smooth skin and realized they were right. The scar tissue was gone. “My arm!” Harry quickly slid his sleeve up high and stared at the tattoo which had appeared there. Tears dripped from his face as he looked into the gentle eyes of the doe which had been Severus’ Patronus since his mother had died. “I can live with that,” he sighed.

 

“Apparently that is the way Severus thinks of you – as Lily’s son. He loved her and now he loves you.” Remus quickly swept away the tear that made it down his cheek. He wasn’t going to cry – not while Harry and Severus needed him.

 

Harry continued to study the mark and began to smile. Being honest with himself, he admitted he liked it. It was a constant reminder of his mother’s love for him and now, it would remind him of the fact that Severus loved him too. “I am fine with it – I really am.”

 

Molly felt relieved at seeing Harry smile – a smile which continued to brighten. She suspected that he was more than just fine with it. He loved it – thankfully.

 

“Let’s move him to your bed, Albus,” James said after carefully scanning Severus. He was receiving mixed readings; Severus was suffering from extreme exhaustion, but at the same time, his body already seemed to be healing itself.

 

“Can I help?” Harry offered eagerly. Remus’ hands rested on his shoulders and the gesture encouraged him to offer his help.

 

“In a moment, Harry. We need to make sure Severus is comfortable first.” James levitated the Potions Master on to Albus’ bed and loosened the tightly buttoned white-shirt. At the same time, Jeffrey undid the buttons on the sleeve and slid the material higher.

 

Harry leaned in closer, most eager to see if the Dark Mark had also changed. Hearing Remus gasp in surprise, Harry finally managed to catch a look. Stunned, he stared at the changed tattoo and then chuckled. “He’s going to be roaring mad.” He continued to chuckle.

 

“It’s safe to say so.” Remus chuckled along. “You get the honor of informing him.”

 

“Of what?” Albus, who had probably ended the ritual, now joined them, carrying their wands in his hand. Harry pointed at Severus’ arm and Albus’ eyes widened slightly. “I can’t say I am surprised. Though, you might be right; he will pretend to dislike it at first. Harry, this is yours, I believe.”

 

Harry took hold of his wand and slid it into a pocket. “Does this mean you are now my grandfather?” His grin broadened.

 

“It does,” Albus confirmed. “I hope you don’t mind?”

 

“I don’t,” Harry reassured him. Then he looked at James. “Is there anything I can do in order to help?” He paused briefly and then added, “He’s my dad now.”

 

James considered his patient’s health. Severus had stabilized and was merely asleep. James cleaned up the blood that was already in the process of drying and then stood back. “Maybe you would like to hold his hand? Physical touch might aid his recovery.”

 

“I can do more than that.” Harry sat down on the bed, rested his back against the headboard, and pulled Severus against him. “Hullo, dad. It’s your son.” He stroked the dark hair and exchanged a victorious look with Remus. “I always wanted a father, you know. Someone to look after me.”

 

Remus smiled. “I reckon that makes you my son in turn? Since Severus and I are together?”

 

“Great, now I have got two dads and a Godfather who still wants to kill one of them. But I won’t let Sirius get to you, Severus.”

 

Realizing that Harry needed some time alone with Severus, Remus and James stepped out of the bedroom. Albus placed Severus’ wand on the night stand, knowing his child would want it close. Sighing contentedly, he realized that Severus now was his child in every sense of the word.

 

/

 

Severus felt fatigued and considered keeping his eyes closed, hoping sleep would claim him once more, but someone was humming, and that someone wasn’t Albus or Remus. He couldn’t think of anyone else who would hum in order to comfort him. He opened his eyes – partly, as they hurt for some odd reason.

 

“Ah, you are awake – good!” Pleased, Harry tried to catch Severus’ gaze. “James believes you will be back on your feet in a couple of hours. And no, you didn’t carry away any permanent damage due to Voldemort’s attack in case you are wondering.”

 

Suddenly it all came back – the bonding ceremony, Voldemort trying to kill him through the Mark and then… Albus, who had claimed him as his son. It was a bit too much to deal with all at once. And then were was Harry, holding him and patting his hair.

 

“Dumbledore is getting all the paperwork done as we speak. Apparently bonds need to be registered at the Ministry. James and Jeffrey went home, but they will check on you in the morning. Molly and Arthur also went home, but not before Molly scolded Albus for putting you through that pain.” Harry paused. “Remus went to your new rooms, preparing for your arrival. I reckon they thought I needed a moment alone with you. And they were right.” Harry studied Severus’ face – his father’s face. “You are my dad now.”

 

Severus cringed. “I will never try to take your father’s place, Harry.”

 

“I never knew my father, Severus. I don’t know what he was like. I only know that he bullied you, loved my mother and me, and died defending us. It’s all stories… I want the real thing.”

 

Severus understood to some degree, but Harry had to understand something too. “I don’t know how to be a father, Harry. My parents never wanted me.”

 

Harry remembered the scenes he had witnessed while Severus had tried to teach him Occlumency. “Maybe you can do everything the opposite the way your father treated you?”

 

Severus snorted – a tad amused. “Maybe that will work.” He sobered, taking in Harry’s expression and realizing the young man was truly happy about this bond. “Did it mark you?” He hoped not. He didn’t want Harry marked yet again.

 

“It did.”

 

Severus averted his gaze. “I am sorry.”

 

“Why?” Surprised, Harry managed to catch Severus’ gaze again. “I got a great deal, as far as I am concerned. Do you notice anything?”

 

Severus was forced to look at Harry again. When the youngster moved the fringe aside, he blinked. “Your scar is gone?” How could that be?

 

“Yes, it vanished. Instead, this appeared, and I really don’t mind. Just keep that in mind, will you?” Harry showed Severus his arm. “Recognize it?”

 

Severus’ eyes grew moist upon seeing the doe stare back at him. “I don’t understand…”

 

“Dumbledore, who is now my granddad by the way, thinks it symbolizes your feelings for me. You loved my mum. Now you love me.” He chuckled because Severus’ eyes had widened at hearing his statement about Dumbledore. “When Voldemort retaliated, Dumbledore added his magic to the binding ceremony and claimed you as his son.”

 

Severus had a hard time believing everything had happened the way Harry was telling him. “Albus really did that?”

 

“Yes…” Harry delicately licked his lips. In one way he was looking forward to telling Severus about the changed mark, but another part worried about the man’s reaction. “The Dark Mark transformed.”

 

Alarmed, Severus’ gaze went immediately to his forearm. His heart missed a beat, and he definitely forgot to breathe upon seeing the new marking. “How can this be?” Why was there a roaring lion where the Dark Mark had been?

 

“I asked Albus about that earlier,” Harry explained. “He said it symbolizes the way I see you. You are a hero, Severus, whether you want to accept that or not.” That the Mark had taken the shape of a lion made sense to Harry. “You always protected me. You still do. A lion fits you perfectly.” Cheekily, he added, “Would you rather have sported a snake?”

 

Severus shivered as he instantly thought back to Voldemort’s monster pet snake Nagini. “No, no snake… but a lion? That’s ludicrous!”

 

“You are as brave as one. If only you could see it.” Saddened, Harry wished there was a way to make Severus see the truth, but it would take time. The Potions Master WAS changing, Harry was witnessing the process right now and chided himself - he couldn’t expect Severus to change overnight. But small changes were taking place – he knew that.

 

“Ah, my dear boys…” Albus slowly approached the bed, giving both of them a chance to compose themselves again. “I see you are recovering, Severus.” Albus conjured a chair and sat down next to the bed. “I reckon Harry already updated you?”

 

“You entered a bond with me as well,” Severus said, voice filled with wonder.

 

“You gained a son as well as a father. I hope that is acceptable?” Albus said jokingly as he patted his child’s shoulder.

 

“Did you have a hand in this?” Severus extended his marked arm toward his mentor – and father. Which was an odd thing to think.

 

“No, child. Our combined magic did that. The bond merely interprets the way Harry and I feel about you.”

 

Severus blinked. “You too?”

 

“What, child?” Albus inched closer.

 

“You also think me brave?”

 

Albus prayed for patience. “Yes, very brave, Severus. You should know that.”

 

Severus looked away and stared at the wall instead. After a moment, he gathered his courage and addressed Albus again. “And my bond with Voldemort?”

 

“Is gone. He fought hard to keep you – either in life or death. I would not let him have you. He no longer has a hold on you. That bond dissolved the moment your bond with Harry was established.”

 

Severus nodded thoughtfully. “Does that mean… I am free?”

 

“Of Tom? Yes, but you have new responsibilities! You are a father now!”

 

Severus didn’t mind those responsibilities. The only thing he could think about was that Voldemort’s hold on him had been broken. He was free. Finally free after what seemed a lifetime of slavery.

 

“Harry, would you do me a favor?” Albus was curious – he wanted to know.

 

“What does it entail?” he asked cautiously.

 

“Cast your Patronus… I want to see what it looks like.” Albus ignored Severus’ puzzled look.

 

“Expecto Patronum,” Harry said, casting the spell. “Oh, that’s different…”

 

Severus blinked in surprise. It wasn’t the Stag that stared back at him – neither was it the doe which now adorned Harry’s arm. It was a young lion – still without the telltale mane, but already proudly prancing about.

 

“Severus, if you would be so kind as to cast the spell as well. I believe I have to report two changed Patronuses to the Order.” Albus wondered if his suspicions would prove correct.

 

Severus cast the spell with some trepidation. A lion, muscular and with a flowing mane appeared from the tip of his wand, and it roared – loudly.

 

“I can’t say I am surprised. Now that you are father and son your Patronus has to be compatible as well. Well done, children, well done!”

 

Severus continued to stare at the majestic looking lion, which was now circling Harry’s patronus, looked rather interested. When the spell dissolved Severus still felt confused. Was this the way Harry and Albus thought of him? As a hero? A lion ready to defend his own? They had to be wrong… But one couldn’t influence the form its patronus took. Magic decided that. So… His head spun and he was beginning to develop a headache. Could it actually mean there was something good inside him? Did he actually have some worth? Was he truly like that? A lion? A hero?

 

“Severus, child?” Albus frowned and leaned in closer. “What’s wrong?” It couldn’t be Voldemort – he no longer had ways of hurting the Potions Master. “May I?”

 

Severus nodded slowly, knowing what Albus was asking him. The non-verbal Legilimens Albus executed was painless. He felt his mentor move through his thoughts and allowed Albus access to every corner of his mind.

 

Albus drew back once he felt reassured. Catching Harry’s worried expression, he offered him a reassuring smile. “Severus is beginning to understand he isn’t evil. It’s a slow process and it confuses him. He believed he was unworthy of love for a long time. He is beginning to accept his worth.”

 

Hearing that reassured Harry. “Finally.” As he still had a hold on Severus, he snuggled close to the older man – his father. “You should rest, dad,” he said, adding the last word on purpose.

 

Severus closed his eyes. Had Harry really called him dad again?

 

“Yes, I did.” Harry didn’t need access to Severus’ thoughts in order to know what the man was thinking. “Can you sleep some more?”

 

“I can try.” Sleep would allow him a way out and time to sort out his confusing thoughts.

 

“Sleep then, child.” Albus cast a non-verbal sleeping spell and together they watched him fall asleep. “He took the first step on the road to recovery, Harry, but don’t expect him to change overnight.”

 

“I don’t,” Harry reassured Albus. “But I do intend to be there every step of the way.”

 

“So do I, my boy. So do I.”

 

/

 

Severus felt better when he woke up the next time –except that he had lost all sense of time. How long had he been asleep? Opening his eyes he realized he still was in Albus’ bed.

 

“Evening,” Remus quipped as he moved closer to his lover. It had taken him some time to convince Harry to give up his spot to him, but in the end, the young man had relented. The fact that he had to shower and catch some sleep himself had helped.

 

“Evening?” Severus mouthed the word sleepily. “What happened?” He attempted to sit up, but the fatigue seemed etched onto his very bones.

 

“Albus cheated,” Remus explained. “He put you to sleep.”

 

“I am not surprised.” Severus needed a moment to get his bearings. “I am glad you are here.” He reached for his lover’s hand and grasped it tightly. “Everyone else seems to have gone mad.”

 

“Why is that?” Remus turned Severus’ hand and pressed a kiss onto its palm. The fact that it was so damn easy to make Severus blush continued to amaze him. He also found it utterly charming.

 

“Did you see the mark yet?” Severus wished he would stop blushing- frankly it was rather embarrassing.

 

“Yes, I did. It suits you.” As expected, Remus saw disbelief and confusion in the other man’s eyes. “I am not surprised the magic chose that symbol for you. You are a very brave man, Severus.”

 

“Not again,” Severus croaked. “Have you lost your mind too?”

 

“Not yet,” Remus chuckled and moved closer. “Do you want to stay here or go home?”

 

“Home?” Where was that?

 

“Your new rooms. I took the liberty of preparing for your arrival. Everything is ready.” He hoped Severus liked his finishing touches. “It’s quite nice – sunny.”

 

Severus had actually forgotten that Albus had forced him out of the dungeons. “If I must…” Severus swung his feet onto the floor and quickly grabbed hold of Remus, as he felt dizzy while standing up. “What’s wrong with me?” he asked, panting slightly.

 

“Not much.” Remus resolutely wrapped an arm around his lover’s waist. “But you were at the center of some powerful magic. First, the bond with Harry was forming, then Voldemort threw all he had at you and then Albus practically overpowered him. You are not physically hurt – but the strain tired you. It’s nothing a few hours of sleep can’t fix.”

 

Severus was relieved to hear that. He was too busy focusing on putting one foot in front of the other though for him to comment on the information. Upon entering the office, he caught the swirl of lilac robes and then Albus appeared at his side as well.

 

“It’s good to see you back on your feet, child, but don’t overdo it.” When he concentrated, he could actually see the lines of subtle magic that bound him to his child. It set his mind at ease. He would always be able now to support Severus – physically, as well as emotionally and magically.

 

“I will be careful,” Severus promised.

 

“I am taking him home so he can rest.” Remus and Albus had talked earlier and the Headmaster had actually suggested he moved Severus to his own rooms. It was time Severus started to think of those quarters as home. “Everything is well, Severus. Take some time off to rest and recover. I will speak with you shortly.” Albus pressed a fatherly kiss onto Severus’ brow.

 

Remus guided Severus to the doorway and continued to support him as they made their way home. Severus was quiet, but then again, Remus reckoned he had a lot to think about.

 

/

 

Severus had a hard time believing these were actually his quarters. The cold and damp atmosphere of the dungeons was something he had become used to during the years. Now his room were sunny and warm, even in the middle of winter. Remus had added some homely touches which surprised Severus. It almost looked as if the DADA professor planned on moving in, considering some of his belongings had also found their way in. He allowed Remus to steer him toward the bedroom, but paused in the doorway upon seeing the large four-poster bed. “Where did that come from?” He had never had one before.

 

“Dobby thought you might like it,” Remus explained as he lowered Severus onto the bed. “Do you?”

 

Severus felt undecided. He had never cared much about luxury before, but had to admit the mattress was soft, just the way he liked it. “I will survive,” he said, deciding to stay on the safe side. Lying down, he found himself staring at the star-speckled canopy. This would take some time getting used to, but he could see himself growing to appreciate it.

 

“You can’t be comfortable like that.”

 

Severus squealed softly; Remus was undoing the buttons to his trousers. “What do you think you are doing?”

 

“Getting you out of your clothes – again,” he added wickedly and licked his lips. “You seemed to like my touch the other day.”

 

Severus stilled. Remus was right; he had enjoyed the intimacy. If only he didn’t feel so damn insecure!

 

Remus tried to gauge Severus’ mood and eventually decided the moment called for some tender loving care instead of making out. “Why don’t you get comfortable? Let’s get you of out these clothes and wrapped in something warm?” Severus did feel cold to the touch.

 

Severus couldn’t help but feeling a tad relieved. He seriously doubted he could get it up as tired as he was. “Thanks,” he whispered gratefully and allowed Remus to remove his clothes. Once he was down to his underwear, he wrapped the duvet around himself, only know realizing Remus had turned oddly quiet. Looking at him, Severus wondered about the undecipherable look on the other wizard’s face. “What’s amiss?” What had he done to wreck the mood?

 

Remus had been too caught up in his passion earlier to notice, but that had changed. Now he did notice the large number of scars on Severus’ body. He had known about the scar on the left arm, where Severus had tried to cut off the Mark, but what about the others? Why hadn’t James or Jeffrey taken care of them?

 

“Remus?” His worry increased now that Remus wasn’t reacting. “What did I do?”

 

Remus blinked and forced himself to react in a calming way. “Nothing’s wrong, but I can’t help but wonder…”

“What about?” Severus pulled the duvet even closer around himself, trying to hide, or if possible, to disappear.

 

“These scars,” Remus gestured toward them. “There are so many of them. Why?”

 

Severus didn’t quite understand the question. “Do you want to know why there are so many? Death Eater meetings weren’t pleasant affairs, Remus.”

 

“No, that’s not it, love,” Remus said and laid down next to Severus. He wrapped his arms around him and rested his brow against Severus’ forehead. “Why did no one heal them?”

 

Severus moistened his lips. That question wasn’t as easily answered as it might seem. “Some of them Voldemort inflicted and they are impossible to vanish completely. James tried… Others… I didn’t want healed.”

 

“Why? Why would you want to continue to carry remains of that torture?” The reason why escaped Remus.

 

“Because I deserve them,” Severus whispered, barely audible. “Atonement, penance, punishment…”

 

Remus’ heart clenched painfully. “You have been punishing yourself for too long, Severus. You made one mistake! You need to forgive yourself for that – not continue to cause yourself pain!” He tightened his hold on his lover. “No, don’t say anything,” he said quickly, seeing Severus was about to object. “You need to believe me, Severus. You need to stop punishing yourself. You need to understand that you are loved and that no one wants to see you in pain. Harry would kick your ass and you know it. You can’t deny it. You know how much that young man cares about you – may I say loves you?”

 

Severus found it hard to rebuff Remus’ words. Ever since the bonding ceremony, he knew how deeply Harry cared for him. “Remus, it was all I had. My guilt,” he clarified. “It kept me alive.”

 

“It kept you fighting,” Remus replied in order to show he understood. “But that has changed. You can let go of the guilt and instead, use the fact that you are loved in order to keep you going. Harry loves you, Albus does too, and I… I love you so much.”

 

Severus sighed, closed his eyes, and rested his head against Remus’ shoulder. “I am working on it.”

 

“I know it takes time,” Remus realized that too. “I will support you all the way.” Remus shifted his head so he could look at Severus and realized his lover was quickly falling asleep. “I love you,” he said and kissed his lover’s dark hair. “I love you so much.” Remus made himself comfortable and settled down for a nap as well. Merlin knew they could both use some rest!

 

/

 

A knock on the door drew Remus attention. “Enter,” he called out softly, without waking Severus in the process. The Potions Master needed all the rest he could get. He wasn’t surprised to see Harry shuffle into the room.

 

“How’s he doing?” Harry approached the bed and carefully sat down on the edge. Severus looked tired, but also peacefully asleep.

 

“He’s getting there,” Remus replied eventually. “He merely needs some rest. How are you doing, Harry?” That was an important question too.

 

“I am fine,” Harry said and smiled. “More than fine actually. I am really happy about the way everything turned out.” He rubbed the tattoo on his right arm. “I am even pleased with this.”

 

Remus was relieved to hear it. “I still find it hard to believe our fortune. To know that Voldemort no longer has any power over Severus is… beyond words. He lived under that mad man’s shadow for too long.”

 

Harry nodded. “Voldemort won’t like it! Too bad for him!” He chuckled softly. “Are you going to stay at Hogwarts or return to the Burrow?” He was going wherever Severus was going.

 

“We haven’t discussed that yet,” Remus told him. “But I reckon we might stay here. Voldemort might be after Severus for real now that he got away and Hogwarts IS the safest place for him.”

 

“Then I am staying too,” Harry announced. “I am not leaving my dad,” he added in a firm tone, which made it clear that he wouldn’t budge on the matter.

 

“I am sure Albus has no problems with that.” Severus shifted in his arms and Remus hummed softly, hoping the Potions Master would continue to stay asleep. He smiled at his lover and then looked at Harry upon hearing him chuckle again.

 

“The two of you look cute like that,” Harry admitted. “I never thought – never expected the two of you to like each other that much.”

 

“I always liked Severus,” Remus admitted. “But I was too much of a coward to act on it. Even when we were young.”

 

Harry leaned his back against the headboard and continued to study them. He liked what he saw. The two of them completed each other. Sighing contently, he raised his gaze and looked out of the window. He blinked, blinked again, and leaned forward to make sure he wasn’t getting it wrong. “Remus?”

 

“What’s the matter, Harry?” Remus was still checking on Severus and missed the puzzled expression on Harry’s face.

 

“I am not sure, but… Look out of the window for me?”

 

Remus wasn’t sure what was going on, but judged it best to humor Harry and looked out of the window. He froze – instantly. “It can’t be!” But the moon was full and the round, white globe hung heavily in the midnight sky. “It can’t be!” Maybe Albus had enchanted the windows!

 

“No, it’s a full moon alright,” Harry didn’t sense any charms on the windows.

 

“But it can’t be! If it’s the full moon tonight, then I would be a werewolf by now!” But none of the normal signs were showing. He didn’t feel like he was about to transform. His body functioned normally and his mind was free of the werewolf’s murderous influence. “Can you get Albus for me? Quickly? It’s important!” He had to know if his eyes were playing tricks on him – if the windows were enchanted and therefore showed a full moon when in reality there wasn’t one!”

 

“I will get him for you!” Excited about the development, Harry jumped to his feet and ran out of the room.

 

“This can’t be…” Ever since Greyback had bitten and turned him, he had hoped for a cure. The Wolfsbane had helped, but he had still transformed. He tried to count back to his last transformation and realized about a month had passed. But why – assuming the full moon really was tonight – wasn’t he transforming?

 

/

 

Albus was still chatting to Jeffrey and James when Harry suddenly sprinted into the room. “Harry, my boy, calm down!” He was certain that Severus was fine; the bond would have warned him otherwise.

 

“Professor Dumbledore!” Harry came to an abrupt stop in front of the Headmaster.

 

“It’s Albus now, my dear boy!” Albus smiled fondly at Harry – his new grandson.

 

“It’s…” Harry moistened his lips and tried to find the best way to say this. “I need to know – is it a full moon tonight?”

 

Albus frowned. Now why would Harry want to know that? But of course! He chided himself for not thinking of it! “It’s Remus then?”

 

“Is it a full moon tonight? Please, I need to know!”

 

Albus wondered about the strange state Harry was in and was afraid he was only going to make things worse. “I am afraid it is, Harry.” Albus’ eyes widened slightly at seeing the relieved expression on the boy’s face. He didn’t understand why it was there. “Did Remus transform already?” He should have thought of the transformation. How could that have escaped him?

 

“No, he hasn’t! That’s why I needed to know!” Harry blinked in surprise. “I don’t understand it though. Remus hasn’t transformed – but he should have if it’s really a full moon tonight.”

 

Albus raised an arm and pointed at the window. “See for yourself.”

 

Harry did and gazed at the impossibly round full moon hanging in front of it. “Then why didn’t Remus transform?”

 

Albus had no explanation either. “Severus didn’t even have the time to brew his Wolfsbane.” Albus slowly rose from his chair, intent on solving the mystery. Jeffrey and James got to their feet as well, and he nodded; yes, maybe they could help. “Let’s find out then.”

 

/

 

Remus felt stunned; how was this possible? The only solution was that the window was enchanted and that it wasn’t a full moon tonight. But then again, his calculations made sense – it should be around the full moon tonight. Severus remained blissfully asleep and Remus flinched at seeing Albus, Harry, and the two healers enter the room. He had hoped for a smaller audience.

 

“Remus,” Albus said as he moved toward the bed. He couldn’t explain it either. “It IS a full moon tonight,” he clarified, reading the need to make sure on the younger wizard’s face. “Maybe we should discuss this in private?”

 

Remus didn’t want to wake Severus either, but, “He might wake when I move away.”

 

“Let me take your place,” Jeffrey offered. “That will also give me a chance to scan him.”

 

Remus and Jeffrey went about very carefully but before long, they had switched places, and Remus now stood next to Albus. Albus gestured for him to follow and they walked over to the sofa, quickly followed by Harry and James who felt equally curious. Remus would have preferred some privacy but understood this was important to the rest as well. “How can this be?”

 

“I am at a loss,” Albus admitted while studying Remus. “You should be a werewolf at the moment. The moon has been full for two hours now. It’s at the height of its strength. There is no explanation for this.” Albus raised his hands in order to stress his statement. “You didn’t have any Wolfsbane either, did you?”

 

“We forgot,” Remus said and cast a quick look at Severus, who was sleeping comfortably in Jeffrey’s arms. “I must admit that I lost track of time. Normally I feel weak the night before the full moon and that reminds me that the transformation is about to take place. But that didn’t happen either this time.”

 

Albus’ eyes narrowed in thought. “Where did Greyback bite you?”

 

“My shoulder,” Remus replied, feeling confused. Why would Albus want to know that?

 

“May I look at the wound?” Albus already got to his feet, knowing Remus would let him.

 

“Of course!” Remus unbuttoned his shirt and slid it down a shoulder. “Right here,” but then he forgot to breathe. His fingertips were unable to locate the scar! “This can’t be!”

 

Albus eyed the area closely. “There is no wound – no scar either.”

 

“I don’t understand any of this!” Remus continued to search for the scar, which had been there for twenty-five years of his life. But his fingertips only encountered smooth skin. “This can’t be happening. It’s impossible!”

 

“It might be an… unexpected side effect,” Severus whispered. He had woken a moment ago and after listening to their exchange, realized what it had to be about.

 

“You are supposed to be asleep,” Jeffrey chided gently. He had been aware of his patient waking up, but had decided to wait instead of act.

 

Severus gathered the duvet around him, held onto it, and elbowed himself into an upright position. All four wizards were giving him quizzical looks, which meant he had to explain. “When I de-hexed you…”

 

Remus was unable to remain seated any longer. He jumped to his feet, quickly made his way over to the bed, and sat down on the side. He claimed Severus’ right hand and squeezed it gently. “When you saved my life…”

 

Severus blushed lightly. “The counter spell is immensely powerful. It has to be, as we designed it to remove all malicious influence from the victim. It might be that the magic I released felt the werewolf virus had to be eradicated too. Mind you, this is only speculation.”

 

Remus briefly closed his eyes. It was the truth – ever since Severus had de-hexed him, he had felt different – stronger! “Severus,” he said, opening his eyes and looking adoringly at his lover, “You cured me!”

 

“We never experimented on a werewolf when we trying to find the cure. I had no idea this could happen.”

 

“Let me assure you, I am greatly grateful,” Remus cradled Severus’ hand in his and guided it close to his heart. “You gave me back my life. I no longer have to live in fear because I am a werewolf! The painful transformations are a thing of the past!” He felt exalted!

 

Jeffrey reluctantly released his patient, but realized he should give up his spot to Remus. He left the bed and quietly joined his father. “Did you think this was possible? We might be able to cure all werewolves!”

 

Although Jeffrey had addressed his father, it was Albus who replied. “Very true, Jeffrey. We should look into this and offer it was a cure to those willing to do away with their curse.”

 

Remus heard Albus’ comment, but his attention was on Severus. “Do you know what this means? I am a normal wizard! I am not a monster anymore.”

 

“You never were a monster, Remus. A werewolf, which you couldn’t control, yes, but never a monster. You are the gentlest soul I know.” Severus wished he could forget about their friends being present and simply comfort Remus the way he wanted to, but he felt too inhibited.

 

Remus however, didn’t suffer any inhabitations and promptly wrapped his arms around his lover. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me!”

 

Remus’ embrace was rather tight and Severus had little space to move about in it. In the end, he resigned himself to being restrained at the moment.

 

“I shall pass the happy news on to the Ministry!” Albus offered.

 

“Should you do that?” Severus managed, but barely.

 

“Why not?” Albus frowned and then chuckled at seeing Severus trying to wriggle free.

 

“The Ministry will want to know how he was cured,” Severus clarified.

 

“That’s true,” Albus admitted. “But the benefits would outweigh the disadvantages for Remus. As a werewolf, he has little to no civil rights.”

 

“It’s up to you,” Severus said and sighed. “I trust you to make the right decision.”

 

“Of course, my son.” Albus grinned.

 

Severus blushed. He had gotten used to Albus calling him his child, but being called his son was different once more. Albus winked at him, probably having caught on, which made him even more shy.

 

“I… Can I go outside?” Remus needed to make sure that he was cured from the curse. “I want to stand in the moonlight and…” He had to know nothing bad would happen.

 

“I believe these rooms come with a balcony,” Albus hinted as he carefully steered Harry and the healers toward the doorway. “Let’s give them some privacy,” he explained.

 

Harry would have loved to stay, but secretly agreed with Albus; Remus and Severus could do with some time alone. He watched as Remus – acting entranced – opened the door to the balcony and stepped outside.

 

“Don’t worry,” Severus said, who had left the bed and clutched the duvet around him. “I will look after him.”

 

Harry nodded, trusting his new father to do just that.

 

Once the others had left, Severus transfigured the duvet into some comfortable black sleeping bottoms and shirt. He then accio’d his warmest cloak and wrapped it around himself before stepping outside as well. Remus stood staring at the moon with an expression of awe across his face. Severus shivered due to the cold and walked toward his lover. Carefully and slowly, he wrapped his arms around Remus, strategically wrapping him up in the warm, thick material of his cloak. Remus trembled against him and Severus pulled him even tighter before resting his chin on his lover’s shoulder. “A penny for your thoughts,” he said, telling Remus in his own way that he was there for him, should the former werewolf wish to discuss what was happening.

 

Remus didn’t care that tears dripped down his face and streaked it. He had kept the hurt inside for much too long already. He rested his back against Severus, savoring the comfort the other man was offering. “I never believed I would be free of the curse one day. I thought it would define my life until the day I died. To be standing here – beneath the moon – and still being whole is beyond my comprehension!” Remus wrapped his fingers around Severus’s arms, which were protectively crossed across his chest. “Do you have any idea how much this changes my life?”

 

“I can’t imagine the hurt you went through in the past. The transformation alone left you shattered on several occasions.”

 

“The Wolfsbane made it easier though. I tended to hurt myself less after taking it.” Remus turned in the embrace and gave Severus a tentative smile. “You changed everything, Severus. Did you have any idea that the counter curse might cure me?”

 

“I never considered it,” Severus admitted as he tightened the embrace he had on Remus. “I merely wanted to do away with the other curse.”

 

“Still, it worked!” “Remus happily rested his head against his lover’s shoulder and drew in a deep breath, finally growing aware of the cold surrounding them. It was good though; it made him feel alive. He changed the angle of his head a little and was once more looking at the full moon. “I am not transforming. The full moon is right above me and I am still me.”

 

Severus’ heart contracted painfully. He was happy that Remus had been cured of the curse, but at the same time, he felt sorry for all the pain his lover had suffered in the past. “If there is anything I can do to help…” He wasn’t prepared to hear Remus chuckle, as it was the last thing he had expected his lover to do.

 

“You already saved my life in so many ways, love.” Remus managed to free an arm and raised it, touching Severus’ lips with wonder in his eyes.”I love you, Severus and want to thank you for everything you did so far.”

 

“I…” Severus felt lost for words. No one had ever looked at him in that way –it almost scared him.

 

“It’s okay,” Remus soothed, realizing he was overdoing it somewhat. “Don’t worry about it.” He rested his head against Severus’ shoulder again and after a moment, felt his lover shiver due to the cold. “We should head back inside.” He had forgotten that Severus was still recovering.

 

“I don’t mind. I understand why this is important to you.” Severus had been through worse than being out in the snow at night. “We can stay here as long as you want.”

 

But Remus raised his head and shook it. “No, I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He shifted his gaze toward the moon and still felt awed that it no longer affected him. “It’s been a lifetime since I last set eyes on it without fear.”

 

Severus smiled and patiently waited for Remus to come to terms with the changes in his life. Once Remus started moving, he followed his lover into his rooms again. He was forced to let go of him and headed for the small kitchen to make some tea, judging the both of them would like some.

 

Remus closed the door behind him and then joined Severus in the kitchen. He sat down at the kitchen table and watched, with some amusement, how Severus prepared tea the Muggle way instead of asking house elves to take care of it. He had noticed that tendency before – doing things the Muggle way. “Dobby would love to take care of that for you,” he said, trying to get Severus to talk. There was so much he didn’t know about his lover!

 

Severus gave Remus a thoughtful look. “I find comfort in doing little things like this myself.”

 

Remus was impressed; it was rare for Severus to offer something personal without being pressured first. “Did you grow up around Muggles?” He wasn’t sure Severus would continue to humor him. He wrapped his cold fingers around the mug and savored the heat the tea offered. He watched carefully when Severus sat down opposite him, nursing his own tea.

 

“My father was a Muggle. My mother was a witch.” Severus wasn’t sure he wanted to continue this conversation, but also realized that now they were in a relationship he would have to open up at one point.

 

“You don’t sound happy about that,” Remus stated carefully. He raised his mug and eyed Severus from over the rim.

 

Severus wasn’t sure how to answer that. “My parents hated me, Remus. My father hated the fact that I was a wizard. I was capable of doing things he couldn’t – he was insanely jealous once he realized I was a wizard.”

 

“And your mother?” Remus held his breath, hoping Severus would continue to confide in him.

 

“She had me against her will. She wanted to abort, but my father stopped her. That was before he found out I was a wizard. After that, he often told me that he should have let her go ahead. He regretted stopping her.” Severus averted his gaze and stared at the wall. Admitting these things were hard on him.

 

Remus hoped he wasn’t pushing it, but there was no way to know when an opportunity like this would present itself again. “I noticed the way you behave at table – when there is food about. Does that behavior stem from childhood as well?”

 

Severus’ features contorted and he considered leaving the room. But Remus was his lover and therefore entitled to know the truth about him. At least that was the way Severus felt about it. “I wasn’t allowed to put any food onto my plate during meals. I had to wait and see if they would give me any. They often punished me by withholding food from me. I told James some time ago… Who then told Albus… Now you know about it too. I am not proud of the way I am today.”

 

“Oh, Severus!” Remus put down his mug and guided Severus’ hands back to the table as well. After Severus had released his drink, Remus wrapped his fingers around his lover’s hands. “You turned out just right.” Severus blinked at him and the surprise clearly showed in the hazel eyes when his lover found the courage to make eye contact.

 

“You are mad,” Severus whispered. “You could do so much better than me.”

 

“I beg to differ, love. You are all I want.” Remus gently squeezed Severus’ hands. “What your parents did was wrong. I understand how it shaped and influenced you. If there is anything I can do help, just tell me.”

 

Severus nodded, ill at ease with their topic. “Can we stop discussing this now?”

 

“Of course, if that is what you want.” Remus wanted Severus to feel safe and comfortable around him. “What time is it?” He looked at the wizard clock above the sink and grinned. “Sleepy time?”

 

Severus looked at the clock as well and sighed. “That’s Albus’ work.” Why, in Merlin’s name, would a clock ever say something like sleepy time? Though, it was one in the morning and it might be nice to turn in for the night. “Let’s finish our tea and then get some sleep?” Severus suggested.

 

“Sounds good.” He picked up his tea, got to his feet, and waited for Severus to accompany him into the living room. To his surprise the coffee table was set with tea and a selection of thinly sliced fruits. Next to the plate were two gift wrapped presents.

 

“Albus,” Severus explained at seeing Remus’ puzzled expression. “The wrapping paper is pink, do I need to say more?”

 

Remus chuckled as he sat down on the sofa. He pulled Severus into place next to him and eyed the presents closely. “They have your name on it.”

 

The cloak he was still wearing was making him feel too warm and Severus slipped out of it, draping it over the back of the sofa. “Do you want to know what’s inside?”

 

“Don’t you? Don’t tell me you’re not curious!” Remus picked up the largest present and tried to feel his way around it. “It feels soft,” he said and placed it in Severus’ lap. “Open it. I know you want it,” he winked at his lover.

 

Taking pity on Remus, Severus undid the wrapping paper and ended up with a stuffed animal, a child’s cuddly toy in his hands. “It’s Tigger,” he whispered, recalling the day they had headed into Hogsmeade. Albus had stayed close that day.

 

“Tigger!” Remus took hold of the toy and studied it closely. “Yes, there is definitely a resemblance,” he said jokingly.

 

“You probably want to know what the other present is about.” Severus picked it up from the coffee table and uncovered its content. “Piglet,” he whispered, regret coloring his voice. He had never had any toys to play with as a child. He would have loved having these to play with.

 

Remus read that sorrow on Severus’ face and wished he could do away with it. He wrapped an arm around his lover’s shoulders and pulled him close. “I love you,” he whispered. “And I wish I could take away the pain you endured in the past, but I can’t. All I can do is my best to make you happy right now.”

 

Severus placed the two cuddly toys in his lap and rested his head against Remus’ shoulder. “I am happy… I have been incredibly lucky, Remus. Both Harry and Albus protected me from Voldemort. They bonded with me just to fight him off. They didn’t have to do that – such commitments last a life time.”

 

“They did so because they love you… I would bind myself to you in a heartbeat and I do hope that we will take that step sometime in the future.” Severus raised his head and stared at him, rather stunned. “Why does that surprise you? I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

 

Severus needed a moment to truly process what Remus had just said. “You want that? With me?”

 

“I will propose someday… I would do so now, but I don’t think we are ready to think about marriage.” The way Severus’ eyes widened struck him as comical.

 

“By Merlin, no, I am no way ready to make such a commitment.” Severus lowered his eyes and stared at the two stuffed animals. “Just look at me. I am holding children’s toys and…”

 

“I understand, Severus, don’t worry about it.” Remus wondered how many more unpleasant memories haunted his lover. He vowed to take them down one by one. They would no longer have any dominion over him!

 

/

 

“Where are you going?” Severus sat up and gave Remus a puzzled look. They had gone to bed thirty minutes ago, and to see Remus getting up, surprised him.

 

“I am sorry, love, but I am too restless to sleep.” Remus settled back into bed and rested his back against the head board. “I am too tired to sleep.” It sounded like a paradox but it was the truth.

 

“What would you like to do then?” Severus turned onto his side so he could study his lover. At that moment, Remus reminded him of Tigger once more. The other wizard needed to move – maybe walk off his restlessness. “Want to go outside? For a stroll in the moonlight?”

 

Remus trembled briefly. “I am still afraid to believe I am cured. What if it turns out to be just a dream?” Severus suddenly pinched his bottom – hard – and he glared at his lover. “What did you do that?”

 

“I had to convince you this is not a dream.”

 

“Be more gentle the next time!” Remus planted a wet kiss onto Severus’ lips. The action thankfully amused Severus and Remus chuckled along. “Actually, that stroll sounds nice.” He wanted out – needed to prove to himself once more that tonight was a full moon and that he wasn’t transforming.

 

“Get dressed – warmly. I will meet you in the hallway in ten,” Severus said, knowing damn well that there wouldn’t be any sleep for them until Remus had gotten it out of his system.

 

/

 

Why wasn’t the bloody floo working? First, he had searched –in vain- for flooing powder, and when he had found a tiny amount among his personal belongings – the floo appeared to be dead. He thought it best to let Albus know that Remus and he were going outside, just in case, but with the floo not working, he would have to dispatch his patronus. After casting the spell, he stared at the lion that stood majestically in front of him, awaiting orders. “This is absurd,” he mused, but sadly enough, he couldn’t influence the shape his patronus took. The lion lazily eyed him and yawned.

 

Severus shook his head at the patronus’ antics. “Find Albus and tell him that Remus and I are stepping outside. He’s restless and needs to walk it off. We will stay inside the wards of course.” The lion nodded and then took off to deliver the message. The patronus’ behavior was rather odd. He couldn’t recall his former doe patronus to ever nod at him! Odd -- definitely out of the ordinary. Severus pulled his warm cloak tightly around him, made sure he had his mittens, and then adjusted the scarf and the cap Remus had given him. Remus was already waiting for him in the corridor, equally warm dressed.

 

Remus frowned upon seeing Severus’ expression. “What’s wrong?”

 

“The floo in my rooms isn’t working. I wanted to let Albus know we are stepping outside for a bit and had to dispatch a patronus instead.”

 

Ah, Remus understood where Severus’ odd mood was coming from. “Will you ever get used to the lion?”

 

“I doubt it. He’s cocky and acts oddly. Not like a patronus should. He actually nodded at me before seeking out Albus.”

 

Remus looped his arm with Severus’. “I think the lion suits you, love.”

 

“Yes, you would,” Severus said and sighed. They walked down the corridor and toward one of the side exits. “Any place special you want to go?” He hoped Remus didn’t want to visit the shack.

 

“Maybe we can head for the lake and settle down on a bench somewhere? I would love to simply look at the moon.”

 

Severus was fine with that and they headed outside, the winter’s cold attacking them at once. He put up his collar and walked determinedly, heading for the lake. If Remus wanted to go there, they would.

 

Remus stole a glance at his lover and felt immensely blessed to have him in his life. Severus was exactly what he needed – what he had always wanted in a lover. Severus would do anything within his power to make him happy. He sighed contently and vowed to do the same thing for him. Severus would never want for anything again if he could help it.

 

Suddenly a silver Phoenix flew toward them. Apparently Albus had dispatched his own Patronus. “That’s fine, Severus. Just make sure you stay inside the wards. And yes, the floo is offline and it will remain like that. You can use Remus’. I don’t want you to worry about anything unpleasant coming through that way. Have a nice walk, my boys!” The patronus vanished and Severus snorted loudly.

 

“Albus mention disconnecting your floo,” Remus recalled. Turning his head, he studied his lover. “What unpleasant things came through in the past?”

 

“Messages from Lucius and other Death Eaters.” Severus felt awkward admitting that. “I sometimes wondered if Voldemort would find a way into Hogwarts that way.”

 

Remus nodded. “You are welcome to use mine.” He shifted closer toward Severus, enjoying the quiet surrounding them. The moon was still radiantly full and cast its silver beams upon them. “This is the first time in almost twenty-five years that I am not in pain during a full moon,” he admitted softly. “The Wolfsbane helped –mentally- but not that much physically.”

 

Now it was Severus’ turn to move closer. “I honestly never considered that de-hexing you would take care of the werewolf’s curse. But looking back at it, it makes sense. The counter spell is extremely powerful; it has to be in order to deal with the hex. We never used the counter spell on a werewolf while we were trying to find a cure. I am grateful it worked that way though.” They had reached the lake and Severus pointed out a bench. “Is that acceptable?”

 

“More than acceptable,” Remus chuckled. They settled down on the bench and wrapped an arm around each other’s waists. Remus leaned against Severus and rested his head against his lover’s shoulder. The silver moonlight hit the water of the lake, creating the illusion of a mirror. Remus trembled, still finding it so hard to believe that he was finally free of the wolf. And he owed it all to Severus. The Potions Master had improved his life in so many ways. He doubted he would ever be able to explain just how much. He felt like he was about to start a whole new chapter in his life.

 

The end


End file.
